|Reviews for At Peace|
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 35 . 5/11/2014
Yay, I finally made it to the end. &hearts
I think I called that ending too. An author after my own heart (well, of course you are, you're my twin :D) . Endings can't be absolutely happy after all. The way you described it was gorgeous too, particularly the paragraph that starts with "the light smoked and burned". On the whole though, I think the transition was too hasty; while it brings Taiki out nicely, it doesn't so much to everybody else's reactions. You make them a tad insignificant, which is a little depressing after all you've built up towards. Even though it is from Taiki's POV, he could have at the very least noted the other reactions, noted something in Akari (because her action doesn't tell much as to what she's feeling) - or perhaps have another one from their POV. I get the feeling the epilogue is going to be something else entirely. :)
And we still don't know what Bagramon did to Taiki. Wow.
I wonder what is going to happen. You mentioned a sequel; I suppose we'll learn more in that. :D
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 34 . 5/11/2014
Interesting; I love how the reactions vary, particularly the way Bagramon says "your round" as though it's the round and not the entire tournament (is thinking about chess matches again). Particularly when coupling that with Kiriha's comment, trying to be sure Bagramon is dead - it provides an interesting contrasting image. Zenjirou gets to sneak in a line as well; yay, he was getting a little deprived.
[A bit far, that.] - with two potential speakers in that, which one of the girls is actually saying it?
And the talking code crown makes a reappearance; I'm a little surprised you didn't elaborate on its character. It's a bit sad, really. A tool to the very end - and Taiki is exceptionally creepy in this scene, you know. Particularly the way he doesn't seem to react at all to Bagramon's death. Even Kiriha reacts. Though Yuu, being the youngest in their group, would have been an interesting reaction to see as well.
The conclusion was lovely; "all for one and one for all" is a very interesting note to end this battle with. :D
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 33 . 5/11/2014
Interesting chapter; I love that, despite the pause in the fighting, the moment where everybody's ideals come to light, there's something already pre-determined about it. As though all this was also a part of somebody's plan. I'm reminded of Kurata's Gizumon's - let loose but still 100% under his control. DarknessBagramon seems way too confident, confident enough to not be surprised at Shoutmon's wings - and everyone else is fighting so hard. That makes this entire chapter seem rather depressing, you know. :D
[Look what you guys have done] - the tone doesn't quite match the words there. The blaming tone tends to be matched with this bit of dialogue: "Look at what you guys have achieved" might work better.
[Not even you] - interesting choice of words from Kiriha. It would be interesting to see the deeper meaning behind that.
[Nene intoned softly] - intoned just seems a little odd in this context.
[pur white] - pure?
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 32 . 2/23/2014
I love the conversation in this. It's so serious, and yet it has me giggling too. Insane Taiki is coming out stronger than ever, but none of the other kids seem to notice it. The effect of the moment I suppose; it's amusing how everyone thinks they're getting answers and a conclusion but things seem to be moving in a completely different direction. Unless I've interpreted it wrong and you /are/ heading towards a closed-end happy ending with Bagramon destroyed.
Somehow I don't think so. :D Insane Taiki is too prominent as of late, and there wasn't really a shift to direct him elsewhere; the shifts seemed more rearranging all the pieces on the board to me.
I wonder what the final goal is though. To destroy the world, then attempt to get it back the way it was; does that mean the world was too broken to save, so it was easier to destroy and rebuild? Or Taiki still loves that world - though he has given his Xros Loader to Akari and Zenjirou, as though he can't focus that energy himself. Instead, he channels the Code Crown. So many possibilities...
[It chose Taiki; so it just makes his reality] - that sentence is phrased a little oddly. Maybe: "It chose Taiki; it just makes his reality."
Four chapters to go!
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 31 . 2/12/2014
Ooh, shards. Pretty title - and a nice way to tie it in with that quote. The way you interweave the different characters and their actions is gorgeous as well. That first paragraph really gives out the feel of the flurry of panic - and Zenjirou's habit of calling Taiki by his full name blares through. :D It sounds weird when reading the subs and here, but it's canon and a nice touch to what hasn't change.
I'm sort of surprised Taiki's nod was visible in that chaos, then I realised you never mentioned whether it was or not. Doesn't really matter, since his words more or less infer the same. "Not very practical" - lol, I'm giggling at that. Funny how the more empathic part, the part that seemed to suit the old Taiki, is the part that stays in his mind.
"his mind reminded him" - missing fullstop here.
"have you forgotten?' - that doesn't really sound like something Shoutmon would say in the thick of battle. "did you forget?" might work, but I think just a simple "forget" works bess in this instance.
"he called to Akari" - this would be easier to picture if I knew where Akari was at the time.
Aww, you paint such a gorgeously eerie image here. One paragraph, but it has just so much in it. *hugs paragraph close* - though I must say, "Oh well. It had been only temporary" tells me this Taiki is not the Taiki the others think, but rather the Bagramon-puppet one. I'll be shocked if it turns out to be the other way around now; I was tossing between the two, but now I'm fairly sure.
Now the question is what those two are planning. An attempt to shatter all hope seems a tad cliched, and knowing you it's something different or more. :D
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 30 . 2/9/2014
I'm slowly inching closer to the end. :D
This chapter seems to begin in the middle. A risky strategy that usually works, but in this case I think the question of what happened before at this point is too strong for it to be entirely effective.
[SeigGreymon] - my subtitles have it as ZeekGreymon. Unless we're talking about different Digimon? And it's been awhile since we've seen Kiriha. :D And Zenjirou.
"That warning is just enough..." - sudden switch into present tense?
I love how you describe the DigiXrosses too, particularly "An army of biting dinosaurs with flying spears." I mean, really. That image is just... Well, it reminds me of GreatestCutemon for starters.
I love the way it ends on Kiriha at the end as well. Partially because I was missing him a bit, and particularly because that totally sounds like something he would say. It's also kind of funny that it doesn't really tell you what's happening, or going to happen. It's a simple observation that's concluding an unfinished scene.
I'm surprised to not see Akari in this chapter, considering how large a role she seemed to be playing earlier. I suppose those it's only the four Generals, the ones who can actually fight, that are out here.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 29 . 2/2/2014
A very nice quote to start things off with; it just screams out Shoutmon. :D Which is probably the point, considering the real Shoutmon starts screaming in the third paragraph. But I suppose a fandom-blind mightn't pick up the rock and roll comment.
[That should have been impossible] - maybe "it"? It sounds a little odd as "that".
Aww, I love how Shoutmon's in the fight as soon as he emerges; that is just like Shoutmon, though the grin makes me wonder if he hasn't changed a little inside the Darkness Loader.
[Shoutmon snorted,watching] - space after the comma.
Aww, Taiki petting Yuu would be so adorable if it wasn't for the scene they're currently in. But it's really adorable - and Taiki's little speech is a very interesting one. It's true Taiki's never faced anything like Yuu, so he wouldn't have had to overcome so great an obstacle, but I'm curious to know later what part of canon you think relates to the enduring. Or is that something that's developed in the AU?
Yuu seems to be the main focus of this drabble, but at the same time there's very little emotional connection he has with it. It's more everyone else looking at Yuu, which is an interesting way of writing things, but not quite appropriate when the fighting scene doesn't focus on the fighting, but rather the more reflective nature that sits outside it. I really want to know what Yuu's thinking in the second half together, but it winds up being more a focus on Taiki's speech - which is lovely.
And Zenjirou sneaks in! Yay!
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 28 . 1/17/2014
Poor Darkness Loader; I really like the childish bias that Yuu shows it. Yes, it's an object that represents his "evil" side, but it's also an object, which suggests it's not sentient. That's an interesting thought actually; are the Digivices sentient or not in this fic? The way you treat it here makes me think it might be non-sentient, but there's still room for that to twist. :D
Lol, the light certainly has an attitude; it's quite amusing seeing him quarrel with Yuu. A little childish, if it weren't for the circumstances. Nene's conversation with Yuu was gorgeous as well. It really shows how beautifully they've both grown, and some reflection on the past as well, that's always nice particularly towards the end of a fic. The way she says "And you're going to make me fight next" is simply beautiful, the way she reasons it out and is contrasted by Akari's rare display of tenderness. But then again, Akari is more open with her emotions, as you've shown.
Yuu is the one reloading Shoutmon. That should be interesting.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 27 . 1/14/2014
Sorry for ignorin your preferences, but I'm not too far from the end now so I'd like to finish this before starting one of your other fics.
Ooh, I really like the beginning with that quote/dialogue piece. Particularly since, in an objective way, it's not true. Otherwise different knots made in the same place by the same rope wouldn't have varying strengths - but the sentiment is an interesting one, reflecting that story of the bundle of figs.
Lol, a very amusing beginning. A little creepy considering Taiki's previous state - though the time skip really confuses things here, you know. (heh, you probably do XD) I'm not sure when Kiriha and co show up - and I'd have liked to see that scene before this one - but I love the way the characters are able to interact here. It's been a while since there's been an interaction at this level - something beyond a power struggle, beyond the strange new Taiki and Bagramon and everyone else being dragged into it - until te Code crown shows up of course.
Aww, is that some Kiriha/Nene action I'm seeing here? I loved how that couple came together in the manga. Either way, the way you show Kiriha's respect for Nene's strength is done very nicely here, though the paragraph you do it in ("If you don't fight...") could do with a little breaking up. I think the subject jumps around too much.
On the whole, this chapter reads a lot more smoothly than the previous one - except for the last two lines, which while seeming preemptive, don't connect to the rest of the chapter as well. I think you could bring out the idea if you delve into Taiki's situation a little more, how the scene looks like when he's fighting (sorry, been thinking too much about Chess and Go lately) like you would describe a board game.
Memory huh. I wonder if that's a reference to the Digi-memories, or the more typical version. :D
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 26 . 12/14/2013
Ooh, scary title. Though the paragraph that follows suggests there's a Yuu-centric drabble that's missing somewhere.
I love how confused Yuu is; despite the focus switching between Taiki and him, his confusion comes out very nicely. Almost kodak like - considering all the times the guy pauses for some reason or other. It does get a little confusing (te other confusing) though when the perspective entirely changes; there's no reason Yuu should be able to hear those other voices and not react at the beginning. The transitions wind up being a little choppy as well - though entertaining to follow.
On that note, I wonder why Yuu doesn't react to the voice per say at all; rather he only notes what the voice tells him to do. Even if he's familiar with it, doesn't he have an opinion about the voice - or recognise them?
[He heard a sound like an angry cat and sighed] - because of the number of characters at this point, who "he" is isn't particularly clear here.
I loved the way you wrote that red light though, particularly when you bring the blood into it.
The Darkness Loader is back. Interesting. I wonder where that is leading - and to who's benefit. Particularly since it sounds like the Code Crown/Taiki wants Yuu to pick it up - against Bagramon at this point. I get the feeling Bagramon has a bigger plan in mind and this is just a part of it for some reason. Hmm...
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 25 . 11/30/2013
Interesting way to start a fight, considering he would normally be impulse rather than precognitive. :D
[It was tht little apathetic part of him that sang] - aww, what a gorgeous line.
[So your technique is to run?" Bagramon intoned] - intoned seems a little extra monotonous there. Bagramon sounds mildly curious in my opinion.
[That's precisely what is concerning me] - cue giggles. :D Though this does remind me quite heavily of Davis.
On the whole, this drabble was over too fast for me. While it's a fight and too much prose padding the descriptions would only get in the way, there isn't much of either character I'm really feeling from this. Bagramon - what tone is he talking in? I like the idea of the mild curiosity, but there really isn't much evidence for or against that, and I wonder how Bagramon is saying: "It prefers a faithless child over a king?"
Taiki punching him was just plain awesome though; I'm glad he (sounds like) he has so much faith in Shoutmon; somehow, the prospect of a sequel has me suspicious of Taiki's and/or Bagramon's true intentions.
"You can't crown a dead man" - a very interesting line, though the response isn't quite satisfactory. Bringing in a new character (well, not quite /new/) in the very last line? Because these aren't chapters per say but rather drabbles that sequence together (I just call them drabble sequences for simplicity's sake) it doesn't accomplish very much.
I must say though, this was a very entertaining fight to witness. I wonder when Shoutmon is going to reappear, and when the others are going to show up as well. We're getting relatively close to the climax I'd imagine, judging from the chapters left. *wonders what's coming next*
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 24 . 11/23/2013
This chapter really makes me laugh, though in the context of the last chapter I am quite muddled. :D
I love the quote you start off with here as well; it's sending this fic into one spirally crazy direction. And no timey-wimey loops too!
[He was looked down upon as freely as a cockroach] - while I can see the image you're making, it's a strange one. Cockroaches normally come with a sense of disgust, which I wouldn't call "freely" in any capacity. I think you meant a fly-on-the-wall sort of image here.
The Code Crown has developed an interesting personality; I wish I could have seen a little more of it, but it was entertaining to follow up to this point.
"you just didn't kill me./mild mishap" - lol, I still can't figure out Bagramon's true motive here - and apparently, neither can Taiki. I wonder if it had something to do with the whole reason he created the Xros Loader to begin with. It's almost as if he's playing a game, and I wonder if Taiki is a player or a piece at this point in time.
I love how Shoutmon sounds in the background here, though this Taiki is as creepy as always.
"As much as I have with you?" - That sounds a little odd. "As much as I have with you, you mean?" perhaps?
Nice chapter; I especially love the ending of this one. Though create what I wonder; it sounds a little ominous...
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 23 . 11/20/2013
It's been a while since everyone's been in the same drabble. :D
A nice quote to begin the chapter with, though I have to wonder if they really "will" have their answers by this time. You have quite a bit of the story to go after all; I wonder how teasing that line will wind up being at the end.
A beautiful first line as well; I particularly love how you wrote "Yuu felt a weariness" instead of "Yuu was weary" - a subtle difference, but it seems to come out far stronger as a result. The second line, in contrast, comes out a little weaker and disconnected - weariness and confusion may be related, but the weariness escapes the later paragraphs.
The questions that follow were entertaining to follow, particularly since they strengthen the confusion of Yuu and Taiki's overall situation.
"He looked at them all and spoke" / "The voice spoke" - I think you need to connect those two a little better, considering there's a paragraph between them.
"He vanished" - "And he vanished" would connect better.
Aww, Kiriha hesitating is always fun to see. Though it's nice to see he has a nice calm head on his shoulders still - at this time anyway. Nene's interpretation of Taiki's words was nice as well, though I have to wonder how she knew that; I didn't think they were that close in canon. Her words don't quite seem to match the changes her face goes through either, though that might be just because it's from Yuu's POV. Her resolve is a pleasant thing to witness, but the creepiness when associating it with words of hope? That's somewhat strange.
I love Yuu's little talk with - himself? The song? And the way he sprints into that portal is a stark reminder of his age.
So Akari is back, but now Yuu is gone. Apparently they don't watch the horror movies that Junpei does. :D
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 22 . 10/9/2013
I like the quote that you start off with, particularly with all the allusions to hope and the imagined world.
Alien fingers? The brittle nature of them is a nice metaphor/extension for the frailness of a child in an adult world.
"the kid with the remote control" - interesting metaphor there. Particularly since it reminds me of Tai in the first season, how he thought of the DW as a video game of sorts, around the time Sora got kidnapped.
The time-skip was a little unexpected, considering how cohesively the last few drabbles were listening together. How did Akari return? I'm really curious to know. And whether she talked about what she saw/realised while she was there. And what happened to Nene?
Silly ffn. stopping us from c&ping. [He was glad, even at the sight of their glares. They would be safe like that] - interesting. That's not exactly proof that Taiki has their best interests at heart, but it does show he's considering them as more than another part of the landscape, so they must have some sort of importance to him.
[It was a rather distant thought] - that was simply gorgeous.
[If something was not finished] - interested to know why you didn't say "if something did not end" since end and beginning would normally go better together. Seems like a subtle difference there, between something ending and actively finishing something.
The tear in the fabric of space was a little ambiguous - I would suggest showing at least a change of scene to know that Bagramon is not at the same scene that Akari and the others were.
[Taiki sighed. Shoutmon, let's go] - that is definitely not going to be like all their other battles. Nope, not at all.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 21 . 10/2/2013
The first line doesn't really flow into the rest; I guess that's another one of your pre-chapter snippets? It's a little confusing in this one because the line that follows is formatted in a similar way. Perhaps using the divider to differentiate that?
I wonder who the "boy" is. The paragraph is a little confusing as well; you say "ran it down his face" - the boy's or Taiki's? In which case, who is the subject of the sesntence that follows it.
[She believes you are good] - that's an interesting point; it looks like the boy is saying that Taiki's change isn't the brainwashed-reversible one (like Ken's or Kouichi's) but a more permanent change.
[I ran away] - another interesting point, considering the subtle undertones towards Xros Wars, particularly strong in the manga version of Taiki's backstory. The way the boy comforts him (and I'm using comfort lightly there.:)) is certainly interesting; sounds manipulative yet in Taiki's situation I'd be more than happy to believe him. Reminds me of Gundam Seed DESTINY.
[but they cannot do it... without you] - I wonder why the ellipses is there; the pause reads a little strangely.
[Skies know...] - that's a new variation. Haven't seen that one used before it.
["Come Taiki. I know in your heart... there is a world you want.] - I'd suggest emphasising the "is" instead of dragging out that pause.
[ He is well known for having a spirit."] - lol, that is very true.
The italics/non-italics switch in the end; I wonder if that's a subtle sign of who's in control now, of it was on purpose. Either way, this brings about an interesting turning point to the story. I wonder where it'll go in the end.