|Reviews for At Peace|
| darkaccalia520 chapter 10 . 9/8/2013
Oh, wow, this was really awesome, and I love the allegorical feel of this chapter. I love that Bagramon represents God and Taiki, the angel. I find it quite intriguing that Bagramon is one who gets angry silently. That's actually more worrying, as though he's quietly plotting is revenge. I do love that Bagramon is more concerned about the new world, but Taiki reminds him that things take time...that it can't happen overnight. I actually feel bad for Taiki here, the fact Bagramon justifies the reason he invaded his mind is that he's not a person. That's really demeaning. But if he's not a person, what does he consider him to be, I wonder? A slave? I also loved Taiki's reaction, and the ending was rather sad. I do wonder if Taiki ever gets redemption. I guess we'll need to wait and see. But this was a really powerful piece. Well done. :)
| darkaccalia520 chapter 9 . 9/6/2013
I really love the little phrases you're using at the beginning of all these. Are these from canon or from your own head? Well, either way, they fit these little snippets perfectly. And I really love how these lines pertain to the whole story and how you use your titles.
Anyway, I really loved how you're still using the theme of sand and dirt as well. My only criticism, which really isn't your fault at all, is that I wish I knew who was the blonde and who was the brunette. But I think that Kiriha is the blonde and Taiki is he brunette. Right?
I really liked the conversation between the two of them, though. I also loved some of the metaphors in this. I especially liked the angel reference. And I love that Kiriha accuses Taiki of losing his fighting spirit. I do love how Taiki makes the comment about being at peace. I really like that, and I feel like that ties this whole story all together, though I'm assuming others will find peace in this fic too.
I really enjoyed this one, and I look forward to the next. Well done. :)
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 9 . 9/6/2013
Ah, so we finally get to see Kiriha. It's funny how the dirt in his shoes is the first thing he notes.
[How had he ended up here, by himself was either an irony] - there should be a second comma after "by himself" or no commas at all.
It's ironic that you describe Kiriha as a man, considering his age, though he has developed quite far up till this point.
Kiriha's stubbornness is quite strong in this; his stoic expression can come in handy sometimes, with all the time he spent perfecting it. Their entire conversation borders on irony and strange concepts; there's something fundamentally different here when compared to Taiki's interactions with the other so far.
And a link back to the title; very clever. In the end it amounts to belief, because what else is there? Certainly not anything certain. :)
And hearing Taiki sing is kind of creepy, particularly this Taiki.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 8 . 9/3/2013
Somehow, the sentences of that first paragraph seemed rather disjointed even if the ideas related closely together. Those last two lines with Akari and Cutemon were really cute though, even if the angst was heavy there. :)
So now they're throwing out some ideas as to what/how Taiki is. They're certainly interesting, but I wonder how likely they are. The fact that they don't believe him to be brainwashed is an interesting one; how many things are there to cause people to change what they believe in so quickly?
[The answer… I think I have it, however] - that's my favourite bit, but I think "but" would be better there as opposed to however.
And Zenjirou heard the voices as well. I wonder what significance they'll play later on.
The ending of this drabble was exceptionally pretty, however since you started with sand and titled it as such, you could have had Akari hold grains of sand as opposed to grit (which I'm more inclined to think of as dirt).
[He acted just like Taiki-san would normally, but] - this is the bit that really has me thinking. Just what have you done to Taiki?
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 7 . 9/2/2013
Aww, what a cute little fic. Somehow it looks adorable on my uni screen, and I haven't even started reading yet. :)
I love your quote (but really, when don't I?). I love it more though because of how it plays with the concepts of light and darkness, and hope and despair and a whole lot of other things that can be metaphorically equivalent to it.
I wonder who is talking; I can't really tell, though I fell like I do know who's talking on some unconscious level. It's an interesting thought anyway, ghosts from the past trying to reach his present self. The "voices wash over him" is what really makes me think that.
I love the polyphony of this; it reminds me of a play that was mentioned in modern and contemporary literature, but I've forgotten its name. Even without speaking that echo is really strong.
And how in the world is Taiki able to follow all of it? Just goes to show how he's not distracted by the rest of life as everybody else would be.
[Taiki only shrugged. "I don't really want to."] - makes me wonder how strong that "want" is. He didn't say he wanted to stay after all; just that he didn't want to leave.
That last line was gorgeous; that reminds me a little of Macbeth, which makes me wonder if you're planning to turn that around somehow. I'm hoping you don't though (bit late since it's already written ), because it would be really interesting to see how Taiki flounders a bit before sinking entirely...if he does of course. I haven't read enough of your work to know which you prefer.
This is my favourite drabble so far.
| Edhla chapter 36 . 9/2/2013
And now I can go on to reviewing the things you actually want for a change ;)
I'm still sort of torn between whether I thought this finale was enigmatic or a little too obscure... the emphasis on dialogue made it really difficult for me to work out who was speaking, let alone jump into what was going on there. I did eventually pick it up, especially after the remark about human's being unable to see the board, but I have to confess that it did take me a while.
"As pretty as a demonic picture." I love this, Aiko. Also, now I kind of want a demonic picture for my wall. And I've just noticed your cool chapter title, too. :D
"Neat little boxes." Are you, perhaps, a Whovian?
I love that you have the child whining about "needing to kill him." It may not have been meant that way, but I found it a stark sort of commentary on how needless and random death seems sometimes, as if there's a big child with infinite powers who just feels like it for no real reason.
"Bagramon chuckled." WOO NAMEDROP.
That last line is fantastic, Aiko. What a stunning image, and what a stunning ending. Poetry plz? I think you'd be awesome at it xx
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 36 . 8/31/2013
And I’m finally here. I’ve finally made it to the end. Oh gosh…
I love that this is an extra episode. I love extras! I love how this talks about humans being easy prey with the chapter title of toys. I can totally see the connection and I love it. I take it this is Taiki talking and I’m pretty sure I don’t like who he’s talking too. This also makes me think that Taiki is evil. And I still haven’t figured out why his eyes are red. What’s the board? What game’s going on? The ring on the board reminds me of monopoly or something. So wait, Taiki’s evil? They’re both imprisoned. I think that’s really interesting. I feel as if I’m missing so much though. Is there a follow up? What from canon have I missed? I like the way this entire story twisted around and that nothing was completely clear. To find out that Bagramon and Taiki were chilling at the end was really interesting and I really liked that a lot. I thought that was a great twist I didn’t expect. Seriously, is there a follow up to this?
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 35 . 8/29/2013
I like how the chapter is called Happiness. It’s such a contrast from the quote of kind endings. That does not make me feel safe. I worry that this isn’t going to be happy. I like how you never explain what Bagramon’s plan was. I don’t know why but it adds to the idea that he really isn’t that important. Do I ever find out about why he’s got those red eyes? Or did I miss that? So, is he not a real person? Is Taiki fake? Taiki’s really evil? Or is he telling them that they have to make their own happy ending? So, wait, he’s gone? Is he dead? Is there a sequel to this? I see there’s one more chapter, but you can’t have done it in that. I’ve really enjoyed this despite everything. I’m excited to end it next chapter. Or maybe it’s not an end. Anyway, I would love to see what happened to Shoutmon and everyone else, but maybe that’s canon. I’m not sure what’s canon and what’s not. I do wonder if Bagramon is really dead.
| Edhla chapter 35 . 8/29/2013
WOOHOO AT THE END.
"Kind endings..." I have a bit of a weird feeling there may be a sting in this tail/tale, Aiko :D If there isn't, don't mind me and just pretend I never said that.
Stylistically, the next paragraph had an awful lot of clauses separated by commas from what I prefer, but that's very much a personal stylistic choice. I'd be tempted to cut out "Bagramon's plan..." since that's self-evident, but again, it's also completely dependent on the story you're trying to tell.
"Continued to thrum..." I love the word "thrum". It's not used anywhere near enough.
"Turning into red droplets... skin burn..." WTF? Eww. Just, ewww and also wtf and eww.
Ah, the sting. I knew you were going to pull something evil out of the hat here. You always do ;) The "light smoked and burned..." paragraph is good for what's actually there, but I felt like there should have been more of it; "their screams..." etc told a little bit rather than showed.
And once again you end on an excruciatingly ambiguous phrase. DAMN YOU :D *Shakes fist*
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 34 . 8/28/2013
I like how Taiki has conversations with the code crown. It’s really interesting. I do like the fact that Taiki has that bit of irony going on with the codes. So the mike that Shoutmon carries can turn into other things? That’s really interesting. I like how you keep bringing that out in the fighting. I’m glad that you take the time to focus on something as trivial as a mike can be. So he attacked Bagramon and stabbed him? Go Shoutmon! I’m really excited about this fight! I think it’s a bit comical that the characters are sort of talking while Shoumon’s doing all the fighting. Is he really dead? I don’t believe it. It ended too easily. I liked the ending lesson there. Was his ideal folly. So many people have these ideas and sometimes they just don’t suit anyone but themselves. I really liked that. I thought it was really cool. You follow that up by saying that was the difference. There was nothing else than he was being a bit selfish. I really liked that. Nice job on this. Two left!
| Edhla chapter 34 . 8/28/2013
Must... finish... drabbles of win... :D
What's the "serial" stuff refer to, Aiko? I'm hopelessly diginept. (Yes, I just said diginept.)
Okay, now that I understand, the "mic" stuff is just utterly glorious. It really is.
"He hoped Bagramon..." I doubt it. Bad guys never really do understand irony properly. If they did, they wouldn't cackle over their evil plans before said evil plans succeed.
"Only minutely..." Minutely? I mean, it's correct and everything, but it strikes me as such a bizarre word choice :)
I love the dialogue, complete with Saturday-morning-cartoon taunts and "ain't." That's awesome.
"His bone hand clasping at the blade..." You have "blade" here twice in short succession; perhaps swap one of them out?
"Zenjirou began quietly" I felt like this should have a comma rather than a period. It's awesome, though. :D
"Slicing down"- I'm with Nene. EWWWW. :D
"Sank into his head." ALSO EWWWWW.
That's an awesome last exchange, and I like that you've elucidated the difference between what is foolish and what is unpopular :D Lovely work as always x
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 6 . 8/27/2013
Somehow I think the qoute would sound better as as "We could all pretend we were right", but that's simply a personal opinion.
No stars is a very interesting way to set the scene, since stars could mean many things, and hope and destiny are the two that come to mind.
[returning her Digimon back to its Xros Loader] - the Xros Loader is Nene's, so that should probably be "hers". Aww, Zenjirou can have a little happiness now...that's just even more sad.
[Okay was in nobody's dictionary. ] - it's more common to say "wasn't in anyone's" as opposed to "was in no-one's" - to be honest I'm not sure how well that works.
"locked up and unchanging" - that's a frightening thought.
[She saw a rather manic] - maniac?
[He wouldn't love it so much as to want to save it.] - not quite sure what you mean here; it's the structure of the sentence as well as its relation to the previous one.
[He wanted everyone to live.] That's a very interesting idea, locking up the world so that nothing changes. Nothing is born but nothing dies either. And yet the idea of killing that came through with your other chapters... *needs to read more*
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 33 . 8/26/2013
Okay, I made it!
I feel like the clash relates to the hearts resonating. I am excited for the fight though. That’s always a good thing! I thought the repetition of darkness twice in the first line was a lot. I did like the burst of blue flame. That was really nice imagery and it lets me imagine what it’s like. I like how Bagramon says that alone he is strong. So many people like to pretend that being alone makes you strong but it makes you weak too. I like how Shoutmon immediately tells Bagramon off as soon as Bagramon says that he’s going to create a better world in his own opinion. I do also like the fact that he’s calm while he says it. I found the sentence about the flame touching the light a bit confusing. Did the flame float into the light? Was it swallowed by it? I wasn’t clear on that. I like how the others chime in and side with Shoutmon that no one wants Bagramon to be king. I like the fact they’re being a unit. Downed Digimon? There are other Digimon in this fight? I think the fact that as a unit they are strong than Bagramon is really cool. I love that Yuu brings this up. I think it’s a really solid argument that Bagramon can’t fight. So, Taiki’s already won this fight? Is that what’s going on?
| darkaccalia520 chapter 8 . 8/26/2013
This is a really interesting idea, and because I don't know the fandom, I'm not quite sure what they're getting at, but more on that later.
First the beginning. I really liked that Nene thanks Zenjirou for saving Yuu. That was really sweet, and I really loved the closeness between the group.
I really loved the fact that Zenjirou notes that something was off with Taiki...that something seems wrong. And that's what I think is what I'm not quite sure what they're getting at: possession or something else. Oh, I understand possession just fine, and it seems the most likely scenario. But this something else? Well, my first thought is that perhaps this is some sort of imposter, and the real Taiki is being held hostage somewhere between the dimensions, but I could be wrong on that. Though I do like the Dust Zone reference. Again, not knowing the fandom, I'm not really sure what that is, but it goes along with the chapter title, and when Akari grabs the dirt on the floor at the end, that seems to coincide. I really loved the last two lines. That was a really lovely tie-in and I look forward to finding out what it all means. Well done. :)
| Edhla chapter 33 . 8/26/2013
Great job! Update soon!
Just kidding ;)
Three updates in one day? If you didn't get a medal from someone yet I'll send you one. It may or may not have come out of a corn flakes box and be made of plastic, but you never specified what kind of m- okay, fine, down to the review :)
It's testament to your writing skill that being the uneducated digimon n00b that I am, I'm still heavily invested here in what happens. I want Shoutmon to succeed; I want Bagramon to go up in flames or something.
"No one wants...' I assume that Nene's addressing Bagramon here, but it's a little unclear from the actual text. "Intoned" is a wee bit of a said-bookism; "said softly" would be fine, I think. And I like that in the midst of everyone going chaotically off the wall, someone just up and says things like it is; says something sensible. Mind you, I'm not entirely sure Bagramon would care if other people wanted him to be their king; Kiriha's line that really HE didn't want to be their king is a good one in that respect :)
"Down Digimon fell..." completely love this line, though "with a large mic" is confusing to me.
AH, I do so love a game of wills :D "To the victor..." is a little awkward to me; if it were mine I'd express it as "the spoils go to the victor", but I am not you :D
Again, fantastic hinge. Love it! x