Reviews for Evolution Shinji
zmanjz chapter 24 . 5/5
A good well written story, however I feel torn, while the characterization of some if the characters is on point, other characters seem ooc, especially in terms of their banter...

Then there is the perspective issue. It seems like there are three personality perspectives: good guys who all think and act alike, evil villains, and incompetent jerks like pincer.

The writing is good, but the dialogue is giving me a weird vibe. Good people can disagree on anything. It just feels like too much groupthink when there are more than two characters.

Now that i think about it, yes. The dialogue suffers a but when you have more than two characters, because having 2 people agree during a discussion is normal, but when you have multiple people in a room, the importance of individual personality becomes more important.

For instance there was a scene where logan's persinaliry was off.. when logan flashed his claws at someone, and said to beast "i know i shouldnt do that"... which seemed out of character for logan to say. Logan has no problem directly threatening people fir minir reasons. It threw me off to have Logan worry outloud about merely flashing his claws to someone.

So i feel torn, this is an interesting story with good writing, but i think that some of the dialogue/banter in this story is a bit generic and not suited to some of the characters' psychology.
ShotaroxPhillip chapter 20 . 4/2
there is only one thing that bugs me about this story and that is the amount of sexual relations. I don't mind reading about it . but there is just too much of it in both this story and the sequel. I usually have to skip parts cause I want to read about how shiniji (?) wins his conflict not read about his love life. I am sorry if this offense you but I can't keep it in any more.
Guest chapter 31 . 1/25
tina grren mile? caught that one.
Galeiam chapter 1 . 7/10/2016
Came back to this story to try and read it again due to your success for the most part of Shinji Steel.

Really just..

This is story is just so...weak?

The Narrative lacks much character depth.

Characters are ridiculously OOC and behave as if you've given Shinji some type of Trust-Me Field.

Laura and Nick both pretty much instantly like and trust him; that's two of the least trusting individuals in the marvel universe.

Laura is also some kind of nymphomaniac now.

On top of that the story looks like it barely had any kind of proofreading at all and was just an excuse to write smut.

Honestly such a huge shift in writing style and ability is appalling to see from an author that long held a spot on my favorite list.
back seat author chapter 1 . 6/2/2016
Lol
"A barely dressed woman with purple hair"

"Enormous trauma"
omnimon12 chapter 25 . 9/29/2015
What happened to Stark, Rhodes and Potts? They just...vanished from the story...
Isamu chapter 15 . 7/1/2015
All penguins are warm blooded. They're birds. Which are warm blooded. I'm guessing you meant "warm-water" penguin.

Also, an adoption proceeding would indeed be awkward since Shinji has no records in the US, or the world for that matter. But issues come up in international searches regularly, and international law abhors a person without proper citizenship. I'd argue before the judge that Shinji is stranded in the United States, without documentation, and no living relatives in Japan. I'd also say that there is an American family willing to adopt him, and give him a home. Since I believe a new birth certificate is issued with an adoption, Shinji would, legally, spring into existence at that point. He is more than old enough to speak on his own behalf and consent to the adoption. There would probably be some conversation with the Japanese embassy, as he would probably claim to be a Japanese national, but since his paperwork does not exist, it would look awkward on their part. Some clever memo's and talking with the right people at the embassy might, just might, get them to cooperate. No lies, no deceit, just a careful presentation of the facts. What happened to your mom? She died when I was very young. What about your father? He abandoned me when I was a child, and I don't know where he is now. Do you have any other living relatives? No, I don't. Make something up about how he got to the US. Accident with some mutant or something would probably fit the bill.

Or, they could ask their friend Nick Fury, the head of a super spy organization, to "reissue" the basic paperwork needed. It might only take a few months of background checks, home inspections, and the normal evaluations by the court to insure the best interests of the child and formalize the adoption.

Also, dear gods, the amount of exposition is horrible. You don't need to make every chapter a clip show of eva as Shinji (a cripplingly shy boy) tells all-but strangers the intimate details of his life at the drop of a hat.
Isamu chapter 13 . 7/1/2015
Ugh. Okay, the doc is tolerable, if barely, and seeing as how this is a finished story, there's much to be done about that. Consider this one something to grow on? Anyway, let's get into this.

I like the underlying premise. X-23 and Shinji could make an interesting pair. They're both going to be very emotional and socially stunted on similar ways. Both are severely lacking in positive, well, anything in their lives. And I guess I get the expediency in having Shinji just be cool with the whole new world he's dumped in, but for god sake, could there be some culture shock? And on the other end of things, what's with everyone instantly trusting Shinji? That's nuts. Fury? Nick Motherfucking Leader of SHIELD Fury? The hell? That's just a poor damn use of the character. You want to get him some training? Make him a SHIELD agent Jr G-Man, fine. But some more effort needed to be put into that. I mean, even just Fury knowing he's gonna go back so he decided to give him some training (world saving business does not discriminate worlds or something). But the really basic "if they like Shinji, they're good people. If they don't, that's the villain!" Just, no. No. And the random person who meets him once and hears the sob story (which Shinji should, frankly be too traumatized and introverted to tell himself) and now she's convinced her parents to adopt him? In, what, 24 hours or so? Again, okay, stable surrogate family, but at least try to earn it through the story. Also, I can already tell the SHIELD training is gonna be super boring, and just an excuse to show how much what's his name doesn't like Shinji, everyone's favorite anti-Hiro from another dimension.

So, my big complaint is that the narrative is lazy. It does nothing to earn Shinji gaining a partner/girlfriend in X-23, allies in the X-men, support from Fury and SHIELD, and a surrogate family from the other people I simply don't care about as they're boring clichés. Not even clichés cleverly used.

Still, I'll see how it plays out, as like I said I think the idea is interesting if poorly executed. And I'm bored on the bus and lacking a book. Might drop another if this fic goes in an unexpected direction or something.
SoaringEagle13 chapter 3 . 3/15/2015
I like the ideas this has shown, but I can't help wondering a few things. Why are the Evas described as 80 feet when they are much taller than that? They stand at least 40 meters(original NGE) or 80 meters (Rebuild continuity). What made you want to make Shinji 15 instead of 14? That's just considering that only those 14 years of age can pilot an Eva.
Guest chapter 36 . 12/22/2014
This has been a great read. I'm looking forward to the next story.
OBSERVER01 chapter 36 . 10/25/2014
Quite good
Jebest4781 chapter 36 . 10/24/2014
great wrap up to close things off for this story and now we will focus more on the Agents of NERV and will be fun on what else will occur
RyoshiMorino chapter 35 . 10/21/2014
Now that was cruel. Leaving us hanging like that.
judgementsblade chapter 35 . 10/20/2014
Hey just wanna say loving the story and the way uve portrayed shinji I nearly pissed myself laughing when he started to abuse viper and her goons can't wait for the next chapter :)
gunman chapter 35 . 10/19/2014
Love it. So much going on in this chapter. And so much fun.
More Shinji and Laura loving.
Jubilee gets to go home briefly, see some friends, and even sees one of her antagonists get their butt kicked.
Deadpool destroying the FOH chapter in Bayville was fun to see.
And really? Happy Gilmore, on the side of mutants, which is totally fun to see, especially at how he knocks golf balls into Shooter and the others.

And I'm completely sure how the explanation of Apocalypse making a deal with the Angels was going to play out, especially with SEELE and NERV and the Evangelions, or even why Shinji wasn't killed by Apocalypse was a problem for the Smurf reject.
And now both Shinji and Laura have been pulled into the other world.
Back to Shinji's world.
It's gonna be fun to see how the Eva-world reacts to the new, improved, stronger, and well-trained Shinji Ikari.
Especially that he knows the truth about what Gendo and his cronies are up to.
A lot of fun here, and now I understand what T'Challa and his friends were looking for.
Good work on this. Look forward to more.
Write on.
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