|Reviews for Troublemakers Always Stir Things Up|
| ShadowFrostWitch chapter 1 . 9/4/2014
when is the next chapter?
| bloody-empress chapter 1 . 8/19/2013
will be waiting for more updates darling
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
This is going to be sooooo great! Can't wait for the next chapter :)
| DarkAngelz99 chapter 1 . 4/6/2013
Gah omg I really wanna watch this story improve! It's rare to find MasOto fanfics ;D; and I reaaaaaally like this one - nice work!
| Blue Rogue Linds chapter 1 . 4/3/2013
Since you're so desperate to receive a proper concrit from me, I think it's only fair that I answer your SOS. You're already familiar with my means and methods, so let's skip the formalities and get straight to the point. Shall we, then?
Your Author's Note is unnecessarily long. It might as well be counted as part of the story as a whole. One to three sentences will do, not a paragraph or three. If you really want to tell your requester that much, then PM them or something. Much of the information you provided at the end isn't relevant to this story or its plot development.
-Chan is an honorific reserved for girls. Most men, even young men, do not go by the same suffix. -Kun or -San would do fine, but not -Chan. I've never even heard Ren call Masato -Chan out of spite or play.
Verb confusion is one of the things I mentioned earlier, and it seems that you're still struggling with it. I noticed it in your dialogue mostly. Grimaced and Sigh, for example, are not proper speech verbs. Masato grimaced. "Of course you know that's not what I mean." That is how it should be written.
Regarding the title and summary, you have broken the rules of this site. Curse words and offensive language are not to be displayed in visible areas like the title or summary. Don't believe me? Look in the 'Report Abuse' menu and you'll see it under the list of possible offenses. I suggest you change this immediately as it has been reported for Terms of Service violations.
I don't like how you've characterized Masato. But you yourself admitted that Yaoi fans have to bend characters' personalities in order to bring them together. That should send up a red flag.
Here's a perfect example of your run-on sentences: "Of course not!" lied Ren, "I just know the type, tell 'em you love 'em and they're putty in your hands; there's never any fight to it" he added sadly, shaking his head, "No, you and I are too alike in that sense Masato, we have our pick of girls, or in your case, boys to choose from, but we always fall for the ones who pay us no attention." My God, it's like a whole paragraph. Cut it down, separate the ideas and it looks like this: "Of course not," Ren lied, "I just know the type: Tell 'em you love 'em and they're putty in your hands. There's never any fight to it." He shook his head and added sadly, "No, you and I are too alike in that sense. We have our pick of girls, or in your case boys, to choose from. But we always fall for the ones who pay us no mind." See? Don't cram everything together. It looks like a jumbled mess. :/
| Anotheranonymous001 chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
I missed reading some of your work, really did.
MasatoxOtoya... never gave much thought to it but... it works. :D Well, if it's from you, I guess anything would work. Your writing style is awesome, words flow so gracefully.
Looking forward to the next chappy!
| TsukiHime-Sama678 chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
Holy crap wow this is awesome! X3 I didn't even realize it was for me until I read the author's note at the bottom ' Either way, I love it. And a love triangle would make things very interesting! Gah this is awesome and I can't wait for the next chapter!