|Reviews for Of Nightmares and Friends|
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/4
Wonderful. I wish you had fleshed out the last part with dialogue, though.
| Killua Lawliet chapter 1 . 2/16
My . Life. Will. Never. Be. The. Same.
| cindy4651 chapter 1 . 5/3/2016
Very sweet, thank you.
| SunsetDawn420 chapter 1 . 3/24/2016
I think your stories have much too less reviews. Not that I'm as good in English as to write many, but I really like your stories because you don't just repeat what already has been written, but you really have new ideas and your writing style is good to. So my compliment!
| guardianofdragonlore chapter 1 . 1/21/2015
Why would he?
| SwimmerGirl0726 chapter 1 . 11/23/2013
AWESOME! I love nightmare fics: )
| chele the original chapter 1 . 10/13/2013
| FanFic-Fanatic1999 chapter 1 . 9/1/2013
Love. Love. Love. Did I mention love? :)
| Music1nTim3 chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
AWWWWWW! Love! Heart! 3 3!
Fare thee well,
| hpharvliviantojack4ever chapter 1 . 7/20/2013
Okayy this is my fav of all of yours! I fallen in love with this story!
Princess pink xxx
| Time's Quill chapter 1 . 6/8/2013
Nice and sweet. You're use of descriptions is good, and I think that you could flesh out the world around the characters (and their thoughts) even more. Give the bones of the fic some more tasty meat, ya?
You use small comma clauses in your sentences, which is good, but sometimes they can spin out of control. For example: "But even if he tried with all his might to stay awake, all the walking and carrying supplies of the current day and the working of the past ones, with the lulling sounds of nature, eventually won and he was snoring softly in a minute."
If something's getting too long or complex, don't be afraid to use a period and start the next clause fresh. Runaway sentences don't look good, and they often leave the reader confused.
A few small suggestions:
1) His nightmare. I think you could spend some more time on it, showing- not telling- Merlin's fear, heartache, and overpowering sense of loss to the audience before waking him up. On a similar note, I'd recommend trying to do the same with "the dam broke."
2) "he yelled." His cry is the climax of the emotional turmoil of the nightmare, which results in Arthur's discovery of his magic. The word "yelled" is, I think, too soft a verb for this purpose. Perhaps "screamed" or something of similar weight?
3) "There was a pause, not even the crackling of the now high fire making a noise for the world was deathly silent." If you read that out loud, you'll hear that it's an awkward sentence. Maybe a quick re-write? Also, I'd suggest either elaborating on how even the towering column of fire had gone still OR saying that the only thing making a noise was the fire.
4) "Destiny was waiting, her hands taping away at her desk." I think you mean "tapping," unless Destiny has an odd habit of tacking bits of tape onto the ends of her desk :P This sentence is a good idea, and I think you could carry the metaphor a little farther than just one sentence.
5) "It wasn't a spell. It's obvious that you aren't studying magic and that you didn't use it on purpose." This is really logical for someone in this position. The sentiment behind it is good, but the way he says it makes it sound like he's been thinking about this for a while, instead of a few seconds. What he says after is good; it's just those two sentences that may be a bit iffy.
I hope this helps! Good job with this- nice and sweet. c:
| Adrienne May chapter 1 . 4/28/2013
| Yabbit chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
interesting reveal...would love a full story with this type of reveal and that type of reaction from arthur and the knights
| the Doctor chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
D'awww, that was adorable! :3
| FlyingMachine1 chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
This was so good! It makes me so happy to see Arthur and the knights accepting Merlin for who he is! I loved the visual with the sentence " Destiny was waiting, her hands taping away at her desk." That was phenomenal. And also the sentence " They arrived in Camelot in a comfortable silence, all the knights agreeing on protecting their youngest brother." Just made me have a fluffy feels attack. :) This was very well written and made me very happy. Great job and thank you!