|Reviews for starfleet Highschool|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/7
Neat story. But I do have a couple of things that I think could be improved. The first one is the long paragraphs. There's dialog in those paragraphs, so it needs to be broken up to make it easier to read.
Also, instead of sending notes, the kids ought to be texting each other on cell phones. Other than that, it's an interesting read.
| KyloBenz chapter 1 . 4/22/2013
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
You've got a nice idea, but the way it's written is a bit out of character. It's as if you just saw the movie Grease one day and imagined Zachary Quinto as Spock in a leather jacket and thought the mental image of him as one of the T-Birds was cool.
I picture that Spock, even as a "greaser" would still be a bit too reserved to tell anyone he was a Sci-Fi fan right on the first day of school before he really got to know those he would tell it to. It's his first day of school and the first day he met them, for goodness sakes, and I doubt his father's Vulcan teachings would be so easy to get away from! That would take years, and he probably wanted to look tough! Your last paragraph regarding that was fine but I would've had a line about him trying to repress or hold back his tears out of the habit his mom was trying to break him of. It's very difficult when parents, rather than putting up a united front with their kids and agreeing on a way to raise them go in completely opposing directions. You want to listen to them both but you just can't and it's frustrating and confusing as hell.
And you're right about Spock being vegetarian but I doubt he would eat meat unless under specific circumstances, like if it was an emergency and it was the only healthful food source or as a suppliment when there just wasn't enough veggies. You've got the green blood part right, too.
Also, why would his mom teach him to act like a greaser? Have you even read the book "The Outsiders" or saw the movie version of it? I regard that to be a more accurate portrayal of how things were back then. They're not just the cool punks.
Saavik and Stonn as friends of his? I don't know. I only know of Stonn as his rival over T'Pring back on Vulcan in the episode "Amok Time". I just researched Saavik, though, and I understand how he can be friends with his canonically adopted sister so that's okay. Still, Stonn with Saavik? I don't know...alternate universe, I guess.
I would've liked to have Pavel Chekov's Russian heratage come out in his accent, even if it's not authentic to begin with. Perhaps he could've greeted his friends with a warm, familiar and cheerful "privyet" or called Spock a "Wulcan" Although, if this were 1950's America, I would understand why he would want to hide that, as difficult as that would be with a name like his.
If you don't understand my previous statement, please look up everything you can about the "Cold War" and possibly "J. Edgar Hoover".
"Hiroshu" Sulu? I've seen "Hikaru" Sulu and "Hiroshi" Sulu before. Is this your own version or have I not done my research?
Furthermore, poor Spock, not realizing someone likes you after they let you walk them home and kiss you at their doorway. You'd think that would be a huge hint.
| CoolGIRL2012 chapter 1 . 4/3/2013
good story keep writing
| Ms. Britain chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
Oh my...that's a twist on Spock for sure! Sure acts human...but I like it!