|Reviews for Losing Control|
| Lord Barinthus chapter 14 . 9/22
You dragged out things with Dumbles for waaaaaay too long. He would have NEVER kept all his positions for so long but you wanted him as an obstacle for Harry. It was so illogical.
| Lord Barinthus chapter 12 . 9/22
I've stuck with this because you have some very interesting concepts/plot-points, but good GOD, please have someone experienced with crafting a story beta this. I think this could be a STELLAR story with a lot of help.
For example, the interactions you write between characters (be it the big family scene at the end of the chapter or Harry's meeting at Gringotts) just come off as "...WTF am I reading? Nothing about how these people are interacting or their dialogue is believable."
| Lord Barinthus chapter 11 . 9/22
And what of the other dozen(ish) Houses that it's been alluded Harry would inherit? His multiple Wizengamot seats? I REALLY hope you don't forget that plot point because it's what's kept me reading, lol.
| Lord Barinthus chapter 2 . 9/21
Ok, so literally everything about this fic is both ridiculous and unbelievable.
However. If you can get past the horrible way it's written and don't take it seriously, it's sliiiiightly entertaining so far, lol.
| Lord Barinthus chapter 1 . 9/21
This fic's first chap started well, then nose-dived.
1. You give Harry a GF, have them interacting for over a month, and don't even slip in her name until the end of the chapter?
2. The scene in the tent was a clusterf**k. I mean, you went from zero-to-Dumbles-is-psychotic in like 15 seconds.
| mckertis chapter 7 . 8/25
It is pretty hard to construct a timeline from your writing. I have no idea if a day has passed between events, or mere moments. Some things seem to occur out of order entirely.
| dragunpfeonyx chapter 15 . 7/17
Das wahr einfach Spitze eine hervoragende dafür.
| Dcreature chapter 15 . 6/7
It started entaining but got somewhat boring after the Veil stuff. Too many talks and not enough revenge action, be it political or physical.
| Lauren Saint chapter 15 . 6/2
Loved the story! Such a great plot, really enjoyed reading this! Thanks! :D
| MidnightMoon chapter 4 . 5/27
Omg this story is so Angst. Like what the fuck? All I hear now is a lot of whining. Is everyone but Dobby, Cedric, And OC and enime of Harry? This shit makes me sick. Yes be angry but it's so immature. And him running away so much I have no idea where this story is going.
| Arklytte chapter 7 . 5/2
I dont normally post a review until I finish a story, but I just had to post this. I absolutely ADORE your version of Luna! I may just have to skip a couple hours of sleep so I can finish this story tonight. :)
| mworth1019 chapter 15 . 4/14
Damn great tale! Wonderful read. Wish it was longer...
| RHJunior chapter 14 . 4/10
your version of Harry has forgotten one VERY important principle. I'm sure you've heard it? "Forgive us our trespasses, Ias we forgive those who trespass against us."/i He will certainly come to regret his stony, unforgiving heart eventually.
Hermione was a muggleborn in an alien society, iraised by her (hypocritical) parents to be unswervingly obedient to authority figures/i- and the single most powerful authority figure in the Wizarding world came to her, asking her ever-so-politely to keep tabs on Harry for him (not an unreasonable request, as teachers and guardians do it all the time!)... then, when it started getting uncomfortable, he offered her the carrot and the stick.
The stick: if she defied him, he would expel her, have her wand broken, her memory erased, and have her tossed out of the magical world. And the carrot was poisoned- its an old, sleazy trick: when the mark starts wavering, stuff a few bills in their pocket as a "gratuity." Drop some unsolicited gifts on them. The first couple of times they accept it's because they're AFRAID to say no... leave them feeling sleazy and filthy for accepting... and by the time they realize they're being bought it's too late. The shame of accepting the carrot and the fear of getting the stick has them trapped in a double bind.
But that's not any concern of the Boy-Who-lived, IS it.
You've got the entire wizarding world falling on their knees begging Harry Potter for forgiveness, and him REFUSING TO GIVE IT, even to the most innocent and helpless, people who were as much victims as he was. Congratulations, he's now a complete TOSSER.
The only comfort is that sooner or later, someone that self-centered and self-righteous is DESTINED to smack headlong into someone who is just as unforgiving as he himself is.
| RHJunior chapter 10 . 4/9
Harsh unforgiving bunch of bastards, your characters are.
| RHJunior chapter 7 . 4/9
okay, I bitch about this at everyone who dumps on Ron. Yes, he's dumb and hotheaded, but he's also LOYAL. He stood next to harry against trolls, deathtraps, basilisks, and GIANT FRIGGIN SPIDERS. He got pissed about the Goblet because he's a teenager and not always rational. The whole "Ron the Death Eater" riff makes me disappointed in you as an author. This is bad writing and you should feel bad.
And really. Calling Hermione a WHORE because she was coerced by her headmaster, THE MOST POWERFUL FRIGGIN WIZARD IN GREAT BRITAIN, into spying on Harry? She's obviously been conditioned by HER PARENTS to blindly obey authority figures, and now they're gonna call her a WHORE to her face for obeying the single biggest authority figure in the wizarding world? For keeping an eye on her fellow student, no less- something that many teachers ask of responsible students who are close to troubled ones?
And Someone needs to bitchslap Neville's hag of a grandmother. She's beaten all the spirit out of him, and she expects him to go against the entire damn school, headmaster, teachers, houses and all? Oh piss off, bitch. He ought to DARE her to adopt someone and throw him out. When she said that he should've replied "Be sure and throw him out of a window first and see if he bounces. Wouldn't want less than quality, would we?"
And have we missed that Dumbledore isn't above using mind-magic on his pawns? That any time someone gets out of line he has a little office meeting and they're suddenly compliant again? Harry isn't the ONLY child who needs an apology for being abandoned.