|Reviews for Avatar: Legend of Kyoshi--Book 1: Spring|
| Lunatique chapter 2 . 12/28/2014
The chapter was a good blend of character, action, and comic relief. I like the sense of character and relationships I get from the interactions here, and the ways Kyoshi reacts to situations, particularly to perceived injustice. She may be immature but she definitely seems like good Avatar material.
On the other hand, the emphasis on color and banter was so great that the content felt diluted by the sheer amount of material. It could also have been better structured and paced; I felt numbed by a parade of characters and witty lines unrelieved by much movement in the overall story.
That said the chapter had genuinely hilarious and exciting moments, such as the enemy count going up while Kyoshi speaks, or the battle going badly for Kyoshi's group. The chapter would have had a much better flow if these moments were more emphasized without being buried in more banal interactions.
Now that Kyoshi has been discovered by the priests (of whom my favorite has to be the trope-defying Indrik), I look forward to how this rustic warrior is going to be set on a collision course with Chin himself.
| Selin98 chapter 2 . 8/14/2014
Hm, great chapter. Well written and generally interesting content. I can't wait on the next. Keep up the great work.
| Selin98 chapter 1 . 8/14/2014
Hm, good beginning it looks promisingly. All avatars were awesome.
| Jokermask18 chapter 2 . 8/13/2014
| Gash Dusen chapter 2 . 8/13/2014
Ahlooveet! Seriously, great storywriting. Avatar Kyoshi might be my favorite Avatar (no kidding), and I feel you are writing her side characters are pretty fleshed out as well. Keep it up!
| iowaforever chapter 1 . 4/23/2014
Hmm, interesting... glad to see that someone else has an interest in Kyoshi's life.
You have my follow
| Pirate King Ray chapter 1 . 11/17/2013
Wow, this is…..interesting
| Admiral Saris chapter 1 . 5/18/2013
Good to see you writing again. I thought you made a good choice to start with the previous Avatar's death, but between that and the section on Chin we only get to glance at Kyoshi. As it stands if I didn't know the background I'd probably suspect Chin of being the protagonist.
| Aditya chapter 1 . 4/9/2013
This is amazing!
| Lunatique chapter 1 . 4/2/2013
Wow, this is a highly promising beginning! I love how you've fleshed out this far-back time period, and the details like Kiyoshi Island being a valley back in the day and being a backwater even then. Drawing Kiyoshi's and Chin's lives in parallel is a brilliant move, and i particularly like how you develop the adversary - Chin comes across as a smart guy and someone that people would actually follow. I love how you bring the past Avatars to life with wit and vivaciousness, and Toshiro is quite a character. :)
If I had a complaint it would be that the lines are occasionally repetitive. Kuruk's line about being in mortal peril was hilarious the first time, not so much the third time around. Chin's repetition of "Yield!" wasn't as bad, but ideally I'd have liked the repetition to come when the context had changed enough that it doesn't feel repetitive. Also, it seems the dashes aren't being formatted correctly. Try uploading with word processing software (OpenOffice, MS Word etc.) that extends the dashes, FFN doesn't seem to eat those unlike double dashes.
It looks like people in this period are living the curse of interesting times. Good writing, to show that Kuruk's neglect has real consequences, and that the Avatars for all their powers are human. I look forward to how this plays out.
| Jokermask18 chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
very nice. Please continue.
| CodeRubicon chapter 1 . 4/1/2013
This fic is good. MUCH better than most fics on this site. The dialogue is top notch, especially the banter among the Avatars. I'll be recommending this. I hope you continue.