|Reviews for Beautifully Used|
| VampWolf92 chapter 3 . 1/29
| Guest chapter 3 . 12/2/2013
you should upload!
| Regin chapter 3 . 9/8/2013
I Like, I Lust, I Love! Please Update Soon!
| HermioneandMarcus chapter 3 . 4/18/2013
excellent chapter update and i can not wait to read more soon please and thank you
| Alice Williams chapter 2 . 4/15/2013
I really like it so far. PLEEEEEEEEEEASE UPDATE SOON!
- Alice 3
| Frick6101719 chapter 3 . 4/17/2013
Good good good good good. I like this a lot :)
| jinnyzoid chapter 2 . 4/15/2013
I apologize. That last review from the guest was me. I was on an iPad and it logged me out when I submitted the review. I never leave reviews unsigned, but this is my fault on that matter. Great story once again. I hope you keep my critique in mind. Happy writing. –jinny, Constructive Criticism Guild
| Guest chapter 2 . 4/13/2013
I stopped in place right before we made way onto the stage.
—'Before we made OUR way'. Just a small mistake there. Not a big one. Just wanted to point it out when you decide to edit or something and you don't have to look for this.
"No-No-No." I choked out. / "Claire, I want you to run." Barren whispered to me.
—Some dialogue is still in the wrong format, but I commend you for fixing the rest besides the ones I copy-pasted above. I think there was also another dialogue or two but I'm sure you'll be able to find them yourself.
I see, I do, I get it done.
—Use a semicolon instead of a comma because you are separating three independent clauses that are closely related in thought.
"Isn't that sweet, Mags? Little Claire here hates us," Mags frowned
—Perhaps instead of mentioning Mags after this dialogue which is obviously said by the other mentor, mention Fnnick's name to avoid confusion.
I really like how you incorporated Claire's mental disorder here, especially how simple actions triggered her memories. You definitely improved writing her from the first chapter. I prefer this one because we really get to see her state at the present time she's in. I'm excited to finally read about Cato. Seeing as he was a brutal Career himself, would Claire possibly dislike him first for the stereotypical personality of a Career would cloud her real judgement of the victor from Two? I suppose I should read more to find out. Happy writing! —jinny
| Requiess chapter 2 . 4/13/2013
I love this story, can't wait to read more! c
| samiesimpson1 chapter 2 . 4/13/2013
This is really well written!
| daydreamer626 chapter 2 . 4/13/2013
I LOVE this story! Great beginning; it really hooks you in and makes you want more.
Update soon please. You've earned yourself a follower.
| samiesimpson1 chapter 1 . 4/12/2013
Wow this is really good! I like how Annie and Finnick are her friends because I really like Finn and Annie! I can't wait till she meets Cato!
Also, you don't have to... But would you mind reading my story? Thanks so much!
| SopranoGhostWriter chapter 1 . 4/11/2013
One word: wonderful! I love how Claire, Annie, and Finnick have this whole friendship circle. Please update soon! :)
| jinnyzoid chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
Not completely sane. "Yes, Finn?" I asked, walking towards my dresser.
–You should probably separate the 'not completely sane' from the dialogue. Put it as two different paragraphs. It confused me a bit since it was part of the previous paragraph and I thought it was describing the way she spoke. It might confuse other readers as well.
"You know what today is, Claire." Finnick said as he finished up the last speck of purple.
–I noticed your dialogue had a little mistake. Instead of a period, the saying should end in a comma like this: "You know what today is, Claire," Finnick said. Most of your dialogues ends with a period and keep in mind for the future chapters that it should end with a comma unless the dialogue stands alone, meaning without the whole "Finnick said" bit.
Other than that, I would have to admit that this chapter was indeed very nice. I like how you portrayed Claire as the abused eighteen year-old who isn't in the right mind and quite helpless per se. She seems like a very interesting character and your writing is commendable as well. I like how you put descriptions on what she saw and how you wrote her thoughts very well. All in all, your writing was straight to the point and flowed in a good pace. Good portrayal of Annie and Finnick as well. It's nice how your OC isn't portrayed like she's a superior to the rest of the victors. Believe me, I've seen OCs like that and they irritate me to no end.
Claire's life as a victor seems realistic. Just a small suggestion though. You mentioned her being quite insane since you did compare her to Annie. Maybe in the future chapters you could put this description into actions. The saying "show—not tell" applies to this. Instead of simply saying she could go into a mental breakdown, perhaps you could show it or at least, let the readers see how she has sudden "reactions" when the games are mentioned or something like that. Hope this helps. I will be following this story. Happy writing!—jinny