|Reviews for Family First|
| Nova chapter 6 . 6/9
Let me start off like this, you have really good writing and I loved the premise of this story. I just can't continue for a number of reasons. One personal one is that I don't approve of physical punishment for children, though I can ignore it well enough for the story's sake if I skip past it.
The main reason though is the whole character build for Harry. It's not that he is not a well written character, but it doesn't match the situation he has been put in. The scene you had the Malfoy's walking in on is completely disproportionate to his injuries and how he recovered from them. Along with this, Harry is not acting as an abused child would. Harry would lash out, test boundaries,be generally distrustful (even after a few weeks of being there), these sort of things. While there are hints of these, there isn't enough. There is no way that Harry would go from being abused to being a well behaved child in a matter of weeks (if even that).
Another problem I have is Lucius's disposition toward harry. While I understand Harry is being rude and it would test his patience, Harry was an *abused* child. He doesn't know what a proper home life is nor how to act. If there is one way Harry shouldn't be handled, it was how Lucius did. The way he treats Harry would generally bring distrust (at least at first) from Harry.
Finally, Harry would not just go along with this. He was told on multiple occasions that Draco's parents were Deatheaters. The very people who followed the man that killed his parents. It would be like a Jewish child being told a couple were strong followers of Hitler, the man who killed his parents. Then said couple adopts him. The child would fear for their life, hate the couple, and generally dislike them. Harry would resist with all his might so as to not go with the Malfoy's.
I'm sorry that this comment is very critical, because I do enjoy your writing style. I just cannot get being this piece of work because of these inconsistencies.
| Jj chapter 18 . 6/7
A“Fangirl screech” neshhxhshshjj AnaheimaaahhhhH
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/20
| Serena-Marlene chapter 2 . 5/20
Incrementing position?i believe the term you are looking for is incriminating
| Alina Marie chapter 11 . 4/27
Well, I read few more chapters and I am a little confused.
As much as I enjoy your story I don’t see Harry behaving this way. He is abused child. As far as canon was going he was listening to Dursleys and tried to be invisible to them. I would have expected more emotional response over Christmas gifts as it were his first ones. Also more response about new wardrobe and room. .
He isn’t very trusting child and wouldn’t except all of the good coming his way right away.
Another one. Severus Snape. Did he just except that Harry will be Malfoy’s Ward? I was hoping for conversation between Lucius and Severus.
I enjoyed parts about Harry’s family. Loved the story about his grandfather.
If I am not mistaken the sketches of young Lily were made by Severus?
| Alina Marie chapter 4 . 4/27
Hi. This story came with recommendations from one of the members of Strictly Dramione Facebook group. Honestly to say, ladies recommend something every few hours! My list of reading is never ending)))
I have read 4 chapters so far and I like it a lot. I believe in your Lucius and Cissa. Parents at home and strict with rule braking. Draco is pouty child with fear of punishment. They are well written and good developed characters.
I agree with you about wards on Private Drive! They are joke! Anyone with intent not to harm may enter.
I am enjoining your story!
Thank you for writing it!
| Guest chapter 2 . 4/15
| FlowerChild23 chapter 18 . 3/22
Lol wow please tell me there is a sequel this is good
| moonprincess97524 chapter 18 . 2/6
I have to look up that insult now. I love this wonderful wonderful story. I also love how you showed the Malfoy family being a family.
| readshy chapter 18 . 12/19/2017
i like it but for me its a a cliff hanger what about the whole harry potter series in genreal
problems they may face voldermort , death eaters, dumbledoor , friends
sorry but this feels like the part one of a book
but i like it ,i really good though i kind if wanted to see severus reaction to harry's abuse as he's always thought that harry was this pamperd spoilt prince
sorry may be incorrect spelings
| Noradin chapter 2 . 11/2/2017
This chapter comes across a bit too biased and unrealistic.
Also, if you thought the last chapter needed three warnings for one spanking, then why did the violence in this chapter not need any? What you described here would have resulted in Harry's death if he was a normal eleven year old.
| ar111 chapter 18 . 10/14/2017
awww this was brilliant i cried
| 1990sMsMedic chapter 2 . 9/21/2017
Harry's injuries are disproportionate to the beating he received, him managing to get away with nothing but serious bruising of his torso and a few cuts is a pipe dream. Along with waking up from being unconscious and unresponsive for several minutes perfectly fine.
Getting struck in the head with a skillet like it was implied he had been, hard enough to be knocked unconscious for so long implies serious damage to the brain, such as swelling or bleeding. Professional fighters who are knocked unconscious and qualify as a K.O. are only out for a few seconds and are always aware enough to respond to someone (their coach, the ref) in some way, verbally or non verbally. Being unresponsive for several minutes, implies a desperate need for medical attention and possibly falling into a coma, or permanent brain damage, or death.
This isn't even taking into the fact that Harry isn't sporting any broken bones, no cracks, nothing. Despite the fact that Skillets are a lot harder than bone, especially the bones of a still growing child, who is likely malnourished, from years of abuse and neglect.
Harry's physical health following this is very cartoonish, real life people getting struck with frying pans, anywhere, doesn't really end with the person getting up and walking away like nothing happened. There are normally broken bones, defensive wounds, and possible bruising or damage to internal organs and the brain.
I'm not trying to be rude, but the fact that Harry got up and walked away from this with a few cuts and bruises really pulled by out of the story. So maybe do a bit of research about the injuries a person or child might receive from a beating such as this one.
| SciFiLvr13 chapter 1 . 7/25/2017
While I don't believe in spanking minors (if you wouldn't hit your spouse what makes a hitting a child acceptable?) but I did find the way you wrote this to be acceptable. If a spanking is given a child should be reminded that they are loved and forgiven.
| Marty chapter 18 . 7/4/2017
I loved this story. In some places I have to admit that I cried especially when Harry saw his father .