Lmao marianne talking about lelouch and kallen this chapter had me dying

This chapter was great, battle gave me literal chills and I really like how you are portraying lelouch as a general.

Gods this chapter almost brought a tear to my eye.

LOL. That omake reminded me of a Futurama episode, with the hall of heads of old celebrities.

Wow. I am very impressed with this story. I love the Kallen and Lelouch dynamic, it's far more interesting then the canon Lulu and Suzaku, at least in my opinion. The history is so fleshed out and I had chills when you hinted at Baldr at a previous chapter opening - it made Todoh's warning of 'Baldr' that much more chilling.

Damn...I have to work soon. No...it's getting good, I can't sleep now. Damn, I don't usually like the JLF (I doubt anyone does) but you do a damn good job at making me despise them, except Todoh of course. This is probably one of the most complete stories I've read so far. Political intrigue, warfare, romance (cringy at times but it's romance, its to be expected) - and I love what you've done to Charles' character. He's far more interesting in this iteration.

I think I've found it. The perfect Code Geass fanfiction to amuse over. Finally, at long last.

A wonderful work fic. I really enjoyed it. I really do just feel that this first book is just an opening that gave more questions than answers. I respect your determination in writing. Best wishes!

So... In my last review I opened with a statement that I've since reconsidered in light of some outside discussions on the topic. Part of this comes from the imprecise, catch-all nature of the word "beta" in this community.

I'll be more direct this time, what you needed for this story was a "proof reader," not for grammar - that's actually well handled - but for diction. By and large, your word choice is respectable but there are some instances were you've used words or phrases (or left them out entirely) that while they sound right actually change the meaning of what is being said.

This time I have an example:
Three times, in this chapter alone, you use the phrase "in lieu of" and not once correctly. I will give you credit that the way you've used it, while wrong, has been consistent in that its meaning isn't changing from use to use.

"In lieu of" does not mean 'because of' or 'in light of' or 'in response to', these are all phrases that I would have recommended being used in it's place in this chapter. The irony of this, is that "in lieu of" means 'instead of' or 'to replace'.

'In this chapter, Lelouch gives Euphemia a second chance in lieu of annihilating her political career.'

All that said, the story is still excellent. Easily one of the best I've read in a long time and I look forward to seeing how it ends before picking up with the sequel.

If it's not his mother's body, I will be shocked and disappointed.

This is as good a point as any to say this, given the note you left at the top of it. As much as I love this story so far, and I do plan to keep reading it, you definitely needed better Betas. Some chapters back you'd left a note about how that particular chapter hadn't been beta'd, which left me troubled because I'd been reading under the assumption that none of it had been.

As for the story so far. It's excellent, I can't think of a much stronger way to put it without sounding melodramatic. The canon characters are well written and I feel they stay true with the spirit of the source, within the boundaries of of the changes you had to introduce for the sake of telling your story. The original characters are interesting and add to the story without overpowering it.

I like the pacing you've managed up to this point. I also feel the use of dramatic irony is spot on and not only in the case of Lelouch not knowing that Kallen is Zero. The fight scenes have been decent, I've read better and I've read worse.

I could go on but... I think I'm going to get on with reading.

Lol you definitely opened it up Kallen

Bravo!

You misspelled Cortez.

It is spelled with a 'z' on the end and not an 's'.

I just finished this story, this take a place in the top 5 of my favourite fanfic!

CHARLES HAD MONTY PYTHON ASSASSINATED?!
YOUR EVIL WAYS GO TOO FAR!
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD I SHALL HIDE MY FACE WITH A MASK TO OBLITERATE YOUR HERETICAL WAYS! DEATH TO ALSMASH (FORGOT THE SPELLING.