|Reviews for Ice and Fire|
| Chaos Nightbringer chapter 13 . 3/10/2018
Jerry watcha doin?
THWARTIN MA PLANS?
Thwarting your Plans?
| Chaos Nightbringer chapter 4 . 3/7/2018
Lelouch and Kallen either gonna be lovers...or kill each other in a frenzied rage. Basically the same thing lol.
| Chaos Nightbringer chapter 3 . 3/7/2018
Kinda nice. Very intrigued by Rai. Heck intrigued by everything!
Side note: the Guren mk I. was the Guren with just two of its standard arms. The entire line of Knightmares on both side seems compatible anyway.
| Chaos Nightbringer chapter 1 . 3/7/2018
Daaaaaammmnnn. I am jealous. Especially since your spelling is so much better.
| Ty Rose chapter 49 . 2/19/2018
I can’t write a long review here because gawddamn, I need to hop into the second story
But that was absolutely the most brilliant, beautiful, perfect ending this story could have had. Bravo! I love your writing!
| Kenshin135 chapter 28 . 12/25/2017
Probably my inner pervert talking, but I actually prefer the divergence/original scene.
| Kenshin135 chapter 8 . 12/24/2017
Giving Kallen Geass is a very dangerous move to make, as I was under the impression Kallen and Lelouch were suppose to be relative equals; Lelouch having the advantage in strategy and politics, and Kallen having the advantage in Piloting and a better knightmare, but both being exceptional all-rounders overall. Kallen getting the Geass heavily unbalances that, unless Lelouch gets his as well. Kallen already has the current lead even without it, unless Lelouch brought the full might of his resources down, which he'd be reluctant to do.
There is some hope for Lelouch though, as he's still obviously the better suited contractor for C.C.'s needs and there's no reason C.C. can't play multiple hands, so it's not grounds to be put off of the story quite yet. But the imbalance will eventually be a problem for me as I keep reading if not resolved in time, as that is the premise that got me interested in the first place. Obviously Kallen needs some early wins though, to establish herself as a real and credible threat against the Empire, Lelouch's current power base, so it'll be a bit.
I'm a little worried on what the power will be though, as Rai being a character means that you're okay with drawing inspiration and resources from non-canonical sources, and Nightmare of Nunnally is full of geasses that wouldn't work in canon/break the "effect only the mind" rule that is implicitly implied, which is a bit of a deal breaker for me as they break immersion.
| Kenshin135 chapter 3 . 12/23/2017
"only as a buffed up Gekka" and "maintain the illusion that Zero doesn't have capable Knightmares" definitely don't belong together. The Gekka is actually a pretty high tier knightmare if this is still in a time frame where Gloucasters are the mainstay elite units and Gino is only piloting a Tristan Predecessor; only being beaten out by the various advanced prototypes like Lancelot. On that note, how did the JLF (who I'm assuming are the ones using the Gekka) even get them if Rakshata isn't working with them?
| Gannon chapter 18 . 12/18/2017
It's always fun to find myself in stories. Or at least my name in them. I know I'm extremely late on reviewing, but I'm loving the story so far and can't wait to finish it.
| Guest chapter 50 . 11/2/2017
Read the whole thing in a day and I have to say, HOLY CRAP. You are literally a god. This is amazingly written. You have to be an actual author of a book or two, there is no way in hell I would believe you aren't. Seriously. I love you.
| TwinkLevhann chapter 49 . 10/27/2017
Nice story, very unique and very refreshing to read.. I can't help myself to fall inlove on your story. Wow, Kallen being Zero and the Countess is awesome! Lelouch being a Prince or Black Prince cant help but smile and say ooaahh! With the Black Knight.. Caliburn i will missed his character.. C.C , Anya and Chuckles are wow nice! Hehehe and lovable so far..not just like on the anime that u want them to pulp :) I love the SHADOWS! Of course Tamaki being an idiot them u made him a shadow member was sooooooooo wow!
And I'm not tired to read it again and again :D
| JAGA03 chapter 49 . 10/25/2017
damn, i recall reading this when it first came out then re reading it in 2015 then again at the end of 2016 when you updated and then now, damn that was a nice story damn it was completed so well and all and I look forward to the next one see ya later.
| Blank chapter 19 . 9/24/2017
Your fanfic is awesome!. Hope some of it gets adapted to R3!
| Raiyoukai chapter 49 . 9/9/2017
This was an absolute delight to read. I could barely stop, and in fact I think I might have missed a few meals to simply continue the enthralling tale that you weaved.
Certainly, it has its detractions; improper grammar in places, some run-on sentences, paragraphs that abruptly stop and other editing errors, over-elucidation in dialogue, and an occasional habit of going on tangential information dumps during the prose to name a few - but none of these are large enough to say that this work wasn't fantastic and deserving of great praise.
I now journey onwards to part two of your trilogy, where I will join the legion of fans that you have accumulated with this work in endeavouring upon the journey with you as you provide it for us.
Thank you for all the time and effort you placed into this work, it has certainly been a great time reading it.
| Ganheim chapter 49 . 9/2/2017
If you do not know what you have done wrong, then maybe you have failed me
[I’ve always felt this to be a cheap line. “you make up what you did wrong, either way you’re getting the short end of the stick”]
with me. What
nor will I ever be
[this seems unnecessary]
He honestly knew he may have laid it on a bit thickly
[Head jumping – you started the scene from Cornelia. Also passive and dumping conclusions on us instead of showing us the signals indicating it, but you already gave the conversation. You don’t need to have him say he’s worried then tell us in narrative he’s worried]
dressed in a aristocratic livery
developing any of the sociopathy that may have developed
is she up to,
[Questions need their mark]
Too slowly…instincts desperately…subtly flexing
[way too many adverbs in one paragraph, much less one sentence]
eyepatch in which a single jewel dangled from it
[That seems more ornate than Lelouch would use. You’ve indicated multiple times he’s not a big fan of shiny dangling bits. Also awkward phrasing]
What did I do,"
I think i will
Lord V.V.," he
Is he alive,"
It had been at Andraste's insistence
[And here we go back into Author Intrusive Data Dump. There’s not even an attempt to shade it with the lens of a viewpoint character]
It had been…had come to an accord
[Passive. Also unnecessary – that they’re in the same place both working towards something SHOWS they came to some agreement. Stop Telling us]
The world was changing
[Telling. Show us, put us in a scene and walk us through as people DO things]
family was safe under
[Under protection is not safe, especially with as much SpecOps as your story openly has]
and combatting it
[combating. Also still Telling for this and several paragraphs]
trying to finetune it
Lelouch retorted softly
[Weak. The adverb undercuts the strength of the retort, but doesn’t really add any clarification]
Do it…but I want the prototype in position
[He just said he’d need to REMOVE it]
instance for the how might have fallen
[of how the mighty have fallen?]
dodged being executed…wasn't worth the effort
[How is an execution in this world where the nobility have negligible to answer for any harder than life imprisonment where he can later be freed?]
chains that had anchored him to the bench were severed
[I know hollywoodism includes shooting locks and not having the bullet ricochet, but I was hoping for a more realistic key or bolt cutter]
Winters to scream
not much you do
Wisely, he chose
[Telling. Just get to the action that SHOWS]
good at anything he applied himself at
[Almost to Marty Stu levels!]
I hate stopping before something’s done, but there is SO much Telling that I can’t manage the strain. You have many opportunities to Show, to give us the small details that indicate emotions or plans or duplicity or whatever, but you often instead bring a complete halt to the action, sometimes for multiple long paragraphs at a time, so you can Tell us something you don’t believe the scene can show on its own.