|Reviews for Why Me|
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/5
I like the story a lot keep on writing stories like this.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/28/2013
Respect the reviewers. Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing!
| Lauh Malfoy chapter 1 . 5/16/2013
I really liked this one :) Well done :)
| justdreaming-83 chapter 1 . 5/4/2013
This was a good read! I like the reference to G being more afraid of death than needles. And I can also see Sam talking all tough to Callen when he wants to hide how much he's worried about him. The banter about who always gets punched and put in the trunk was so typical of this duo. Even though it was a yucky part, I liked that you had Sam protect G by keeping the younger team members out of the way while he "barfed." Thanks for taking the time to write for the challenge!
| FioraThePendragon chapter 1 . 4/30/2013
Type your review here...
| A Reader chapter 1 . 4/20/2013
All in all, I enjoyed your piece, however it would really have benefited from some more editing before being posted. There are several typos throughout the story and sentences which don't quite make sense. I have listed a few few examples for you.
["Remember who I the one trying to hold the blood in your body from five bullet holes."] This should be either "Remember who the one trying to..." or "Remember I was the one trying to..."
[Shooting an irritated glare at the ex-seal "I'm not afraid of needles, I just don't like them.] There are two little things here. Firstly, who was shooting the irritated glare? It doesn't say. Also, SEAL is an acronym so it needs to be written in all capitals. You could try something like "Shooting an irritated glare at the ex-SEAL, Callen shook his head, "I'm not afraid of needles, I just don't like them."
There are others, but I think the one that hit me in the face the hardest (and convinced me to review in the first place) was your spelling of the word "thru." "Thru" is not a word. The word you're looking for is "through." Just so you know. :)
Now don't take any of this the wrong way, I just thought I'd let you know because other than the lack of polish it was a well written fic!
Please keep writing!
| Susan L. Grabon chapter 1 . 4/18/2013
It is always nice to be filled in, on the missing moments. Like your POV
| feenie1010 chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
Nice partnership between G & Sam!
| Callen1 chapter 1 . 4/16/2013
Nice job - a good spin on what happened. Or what might have happened. ;-)
You could benefit from a bit of editing, though. There are a lot of extra descriptors that just aren't needed, and it bogs down the narrative. So many writers think more words are automatically better. Sometimes less is more.
| Dixie chapter 1 . 4/16/2013
I like it. Callen can sure get into trouble.
| Hope06 chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
Beautifully writtenreally got the team and Deeks' inner thought love
| I Feel Possessed chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
This is the best one I've read so far (sort of how I would have taken it, if I had the talent, courage and willpower to attempt such a challenge! Well done :)
The only (hopefully constructive) comment I have is the slip from past to present tense just at the end...
"Callen drops the clip and a bullet rolls out. He reaches out and catches it, takes a frustrated breath."
| newt-s3 chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
I loved it! You went in a different direction then the other ones I have seen...I think this one is my favorite. You did a great job! Keep it up :)
| angelscatie chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
Great chapter/story. I like how you captured Calken.
| knirbenrots chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
Owh, G.R.E.A.T! Loved it, thank you!