|Reviews for The Son of the Ace|
| CollinMorganTheNewGothDoctor chapter 5 . 1/13/2016
I know all of them with the exception of Gorbachev if you can pm me and tell me a little about him I'd appreciate it. I'm Russian so I'm interested in my countries past.
| RavenLocks chapter 19 . 9/14/2013
Hi Miss JohnLock, I see you have been in Hiatus. I do want to thank you though for liking my fan art and making it into a cover for your fanfic. I absolutely love this story so I feel very happy. I am also glad that you have liked my interpretation of your characters. But now that I know how you imagine the other ones, I can make a more accurate version I guess. When I have time, LOL (College is eating my time) I will though continue to look forward to the updates of this story so I'll check it once in a while. :)
About this chapter, I guess this is the part where Kiku and Gilbert will go on different paths and the start of the ending. I feel sad for a bit. Gilbert's leaving! and that he still has feelings for Kiku and his talk about unrequited love and platonic love is just- I don't know.. just sad.
THEN it was then revealed that there was still some part in Kiku's heart that loves Gilbert. D: JUST-
asdfghjkl. How heartbreaking... That line made me wonder about how it would be in Gil and Kiku DID get together.
I also liked how this chapter shows that Gilbert gives importance to his friend, Mathias. I think I would do that for my friend as well. The feeling of being alone is probably one of the saddest things that I know. This chapter is shorter than the other ones, yes. But I feel that this was a good chapter. I loved it.
| Sam-Chan and Jason-Kun chapter 19 . 9/13/2013
Sam-Chan: Glob it! PLEASE CONTINUE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!
| HongKongLover123 chapter 7 . 8/26/2013
PLEASE KEEP WRITING I LOVE IT PLEASE I WILL DIE IF YOU DON'T PLEASE I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH PLEASE
| HongKongLover123 chapter 4 . 8/26/2013
You should keep writing
| HongKongLover123 chapter 1 . 8/23/2013
Please keep writing I like this story a lot I am going to follow the story
| zoewinter1 chapter 20 . 8/12/2013
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE :D
| zoewinter1 chapter 19 . 8/12/2013
MY PRUPAN FEELS OH MY GOD
THEY LOVE EACH OTHER STILL
BUT THEY CANT
I HAVE NO HOPE FOR THIS WORLD ANYMORE
| Mawichan chapter 13 . 8/12/2013
(Sorry I've got no account on this site, and I won't make one since I don't write fanfics, but I like to read them)
You know, I like this story. But I feel that there are some things that could have been better about the writing.
One of those things is how you mention the kingdom's traditions.
You put them all if not almost all within parenthesis. While using parenthesis is not a bad thing, using them too frequently to explain something that happened or a character did, looks as if you were just talking to someone else about the story and mentioned some things rushedly so the other peson understands whay you are talking about instead of a written story and it reads as if you are interrupting the story, going out of your way to give an explanation that could give along with the flow of the narrative either way.
Something else I noticed about these traditions is the lack of explanation there is for them.
This not only can apply to the that but other things as well.
I am not saying they suck, oh no. They are just fine as they are, but they lack a reason.
It's like, you explain many things that happen in the story by saying it's part of a tradition but there is no explanation is given about why does said thing exists in the first place. Somtimes it looks like you are using them and the in-universe facts as a plot device instead of an element for world building. With that said, I have to add, that something such as a tradition or world fact can be used as an element of world building and as a plot device at the same time as well, people has been doing that all the time, but what matters is how it is executed.
It's not like you have to write a whole manual/history book about it, but without a little bit of backround at the very least it all seems a bit senseless.
I have been wondering since early chapters why jokers are considered bad. Yet this is chapter 13 and no explanation is given yet. I understand that the point there is that jokers are not actually bad. But even if they are not there MUST be a reason why people hate them so much. It's not so hard, it doesn't even have to be very elaborated or true, most of the hate between people in real life is for very stupid reasons.
Why there can only be two jokers existing at the same time? Why not more?
How can you tell when someone is a joker or not? What makes them different from others?
Why must the first born of a king marry the first born of an Ace? Even if both children are male? (Nothing against it, but for royalty, marriages are more to produce a heir/heiress than anything else, two guys can't do that..)
So, a person's position in life is determined by the numbers of the card they are born as, and that can't change that, but a Jack can be ascended to Ace? So, that would mean that one doesn't have to be born as an Ace to be an Ace? Also, Romulus said that Xia (or Ferdinand, or whoever) just chose him to be the jack, implying that he wasn't born as a Jack.
If he was then ascended to Acehood, would that mean that there is no such thing as "royal blood" (as in the way of implying that having it makes one special) but nobility is something given by a tittle instead of sanguineous bonds? That would make very difficult to explain why does the queen acquire that special skill. Since she doesn't come from a particular family line that is known to posses such skill but rather because she has the title of Queen.
Why must the King kill himself to leave place for his sucessor? Anyone would normally just say "Man, I am too old for this, here, my son is ready to marry his fiancee, I think it's time for retirement" and he remains in the castle as a sad, grumpy old person until the end of his/her days. But Mr. I-won't-say-more-than-two-lines-of-dialogue-unless -off-screen must commit suicide as tradition dictates. Not only is this thing not explained, but is also threated like it's nothing. Okay, it's something that must have happened according to their culture and it's normal for them, but it would be REALLY weird that the death of a KING was just thrown there with no mention of funeral nor sadness of grief from his spouse nor predilect son.
Kiku told Ludwig that the death of a parent was something hard to cope with, that he would feel the same way had his own parets died. Having died for the reason he did doesn't really make the idea of it any less unpleasant. In fact, since Ludwig seems to be the kind who seems to also question his own culture (sometimes), I can see him wondering why must his father die in order to allow him to take his place.
I think what "failed" to put it in some way about the narrative is that it is written in third person perspective, by a narrator being the kind of narrator who functions as an omnipresent watcher who knows everything about the setting like it was the Setting's God or something, but instead, it reads more like there's someone who's got cameras hidden in everycorner and is saying what he sees while throwing some bunches of info so we can understand him better.
Maybe a first person perspective (Kiku's in this case, since he's the protagonist) could have worked just fine. Many of the things I commented and asked about here wouldn't even have to be or at least, they would be justified by the fact that we would be seeing this story throught the eyes of someone who is just as confused and curious about the world surrounding him as we, the readers are. He could say, "XXXX took me to XXXX in order to teach me XXXXX, just like every queen at this stage of life. I don't understand why, but that is what my culture has taught me"
The characters are presented in a way more similar to a first person perspective than anything else. In example, we rarely, if ever can really know what a character truly feels or thinks, unless we are following his/her view of things, by making him/her the protagonist of the chapter.
People writting in first person perspective usually commit the mistake of narrating the point of view of the character narrating the story as if he/she knew absolutely everything about everyone and everything. In this case it was the opposite
Okay this is TOO much already, so I will leave it until here, also since I haven't read all of what you have up until now I don't know if stuff will remain that way until the end.
Sorry for the wall of text, and if you feel offended by this in any way.
I am not trying to do that. I am not trying to offend you as a person neither this fanfic itself. I repeat what I said earlier: I like this story. If I didn't like it, I swear I would just close the tab in the browser and do something else without even leaving a comment on it, but since I like it, I don't see why I couldn't give some feedback to it?
I don't want to be a know-it-all smarty-pants either. I am into writing things and I am still learning about it myself, just as you might still be as well. I wrote this "review" based on the little knowledge about writting I have gathered throught the time and you are completely free to ignore it or listen to it. Either way I will keep checking this fic to see the end of it anyway.
| MAWI chapter 2 . 8/7/2013
WTF with the author's note at the end
...But it's true thought.
I'd like to know more about jokers, like, why do they have such bad reputation?
But I guess you will get to that later in the story
| RavenLocks chapter 18 . 8/6/2013
I am so excited about the sequel and how this will end! I will surely miss Gilbert in the sequel though. This chapter is certainly interesting.. I wonder what will happen next and how this event affect Kiku and Ludwig.
I feel quite nervous for them! Oh how hard it must be to be Royalty. Will Italy have a bigger role in the sequel? I'm also looking forward to seeing more of the other neighboring Kingdoms. I have so many thoughts and questions about this story..but I guess I'll wait for the chapters one by one and enjoy the thrill of it unfolding step by step.
Dear Author,JohnLock, I'm afraid but I was not able to borrow a friend's account.I'm afraid that I'll have to give you the link here. I guess, I'll not be an Anon anymore..
Here is the link for the fan art that I made for this fic. I enjoyed drawing it a lot, but I'm not satisfied. :T I hope you like it though!
I hope I did justice or close to justice or at least good to the OCs you have in this fic!
Thank You! Keep up the Good Work! I will continuously read your updates :D
| zoewinter1 chapter 18 . 7/30/2013
OHMYGOD AAAAAH YAAAAAAY I WAS MISSING THE GILBERT KIKU LOVE even if I know it won't last it still makes me feel so happy on the inside. MY CHEST FEELS SO WARM AND FUZZY PEORJGVNERPOIGNEQIERG :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
| Guest chapter 17 . 7/25/2013
sequel? *squeals* YAAAAAAAAAAY
I really hope ivan and elizabeta are more accepting of jokers :/
((will there be mpreg?)) /shot
| RavenLocks chapter 17 . 7/22/2013
Why dear author, you have updated! I am very excited for the sequel. I am wondering as to how you will end this first part.
Are their roles as King and Queen will become an obstacle for their relationship? I'm curious about Gilbert's feelings for Kiku...Is he still bitter? I bet he is. I feel bad for Ludwig, hearing his queen say that. :( Keep up the good work! I am very happy and excited with this story.
At certain scenes I get all worked up and excited. I made a lot of expressions throughout the fic.
I apologize but I do not have an account for this site. I found out that I am not fit for writing stories. I can only illustrate them. Do not worry though, I will borrow the account of my friend to send it to you as soon as I finish. Or post the link in my fic review. :
| RavenLocks chapter 16 . 7/16/2013
I am definitely inlove with this fic. It is very well written and the setting (oh the setting!) is amazing. I am very much interested in this Cardverse version of yours. I love how you set up the world. Specially the tradition of the King killing himself to "announce" that the crowned Prince is ready to succeed! I know the King of Hearts is called the suicide king, but I never thought of actually using it as a culture or tradition to a story! I am very impressed! It is quite a wonder why this has not received more reviews.
Moving on, I have to say that you have my heart broken with the tragic romance of Gilbert and Kiku! I had certainly expected it since it was written in the summary.. but I can't help but feel very sad for their "lost love" as one would say. Ahaha! Well not just that , but also for the fact that I am a big shipper of the two. Though I have certainly felt giddy and girly with Ludwig and Kiku and I feel that they are meant to be in the story (since I ship that too and I love you for writing this), though I do wonder how it would've been if Kiku and Gilbert did succeed in being together here? (I feel so bad for Gilbert!) Oh I forgot to mention how I love the roles of the Kingdoms and the roles of the King and Queen of Hearts! It is so befitting!
I am currently making some fan arts for this beloved fic. I do hope that I can finish them already and present them to you! I shall wait for the update and the exciting developments of this story