|Reviews for Royal Affection|
| daniela.sophie.9 chapter 9 . 4/19/2015
I really hope you have not abandoned this story, because it's just amazing!
I really like Lara's and Himiko's interactions and I'd absolutely love to read more!
So please.. just consider writing for this story again, would ya? ;D
| Deaf Never Die chapter 1 . 3/10/2015
This story is good i ask you to continue this story but make lara remind her as it 21 century and tells her about the world technology and Himiko show more love to Lara
| Righteousham chapter 3 . 12/30/2014
Hello and good day,
I had hoped to review again before the holiday but it wasn't to be. Frankly, I'm glad I was able to do so before the new year. Before I begin the review proper I'd like to take the opportunity to wish you and yours a happy and productive new year.
Not much happened in this chapter, but again I was struck by your ability to draw one into the scene. By touching on all five senses in the descriptions it allows for further immersion into the world, and creates a fully realized scenario in your audiences head.
We're given a hint to the extent of Himiko's power, not only control of the weather but in addition the ability to heal. Also, a hint as to its source; Himiko's reference to "light". This could all be semantics on her part, but I recall from the game that Himiko's magic was referred to as Star Power, or something to that effect. so my guess is your wording isn't random here.
All-in-all a necessary filler chapter. One that gives us tantalizing clues but no real answers. Every time I come back to this story, my mind wonders at the mystery surrounding Himiko and I find myself anticipating your next chapter. I ask that you don't keep us waiting for to great a time.
| Righteousham chapter 2 . 11/18/2014
As my first review was mostly a long-form introduction, I thought leaving you another immediately was only fair.
The first thing that strikes me about your writing is how good you are at setting a tone and scene via descriptive (sometimes too descriptive) writing. Your description of the palace remains were vivid and I could practically smell the sulfur pouring out of that cavern. Too, the idea of rot and decay permeating the palace and how they'd lit incense to try and cancel it out, was a good bit of setting detail that really helped establish atmosphere.
Small details like this can really help to bring scenes together and I'm glad to say this is a skill you're more than equipped to wield.
In my previous review I mentioned I liked how you characterized the Sun Queen and while that certainly holds true; she's enigmatic, with mysterious motives and nearly statuesque in her inscrutability, I do wonder why her first actions after unknown centuries locked away in a rotting corpse were to aid Lara so. In fact, were I to have one major complaint about your story as a whole it would be how bent on Lara Himiko's actions seem to be.
My guess is see's playing a long game, which makes sense given how old she is (well over 2000 years given some Chinese sources from the Kingdom of Wei) but, and perhaps this is just because we're still relatively early in the story, I feel it doesn't quite fit.
I know this is a romance, and as such Lara and Himiko will eventually fall in love, and I've no issue with that. I do, however, have issues with a story point that seems a bit forced as this does. Now, I recognize that the story is primarily from Lara's point of view as as such I may be missing background information, but it seems to me Himiko would be more concerned with the state of her people and empire than her interludes with our young archeologist.
This could be explained as overlap from absorbing Sam I suppose, and for now I'm willing to ride it out as your writing is more than sufficient to hold my interest. However, if this goes undressed indefinitely I believe you'd be selling your story short.
What does Himiko want: for herself? her people? Her empire?
Speaking of her people: A servant walks onto the scene and Himiko throws him out as if this is ordinary, as if I wasn't doing a double-take and proclaiming, "wait what?!" to my empty house. Now here's an intriguing line of inquiry to be followed by Lara at some future juncture, yes?
Lastly, I just wish to thank you for addressing Lara's wounds, and showing her not to be the Übermensch the game was making her out to be.
Until next time,
| Righteousham chapter 1 . 11/18/2014
Hello and good day,
So it came to pass that I was inspired to play through the latest Tomb Raider again after having originally completed the game over a year ago. As is the case whenever one goes through a story a second time, one tends to look upon it with a more critical eye. As such as Lara once again began her decent into hell, death and - inevitable - rebirth; I found myself paying more attention to the little details.
Story ques that I'd either missed, or in my haste, overlooked. Plot holes and contrivances are the norm for video game storytelling, as are flat stilted and generally poor characterizations. Let's not kid ourselves here: the bar is low. Still, Tomb raider was better than many, possibly by virtue of actually caring about its story, which sets it above most in the interactive medium of games.
In any case, one such detail that caught me eye was that of the fire ritual. According to the game's lore, the fire ritual was used to help determine Himiko's successor. Later this is observed when Mathias placed Sam on the pyre. Further supporting this are the burnt bodies of woman seen around the island.
My first time through the game I admit to not giving much thought to this aspect of the story. However, on replaying I decided it didn't make a lot of sense from a historical perspective. Himiko chose Hoshi with no such ritual preformed - one could definitely see her mentioning the burning of her fellow priestess alive - who seemed more than willing to place her misgivings into her diary. However, a picture of the ritual does seem to exist making it canonical, as it was one of only a few murals recorded in the chamber.
The obvious answer is that the writers didn't think through the implications of what they'd created, but that's hardly a fun way to look at the problem. So naturally I set my mind to the task of figuring out the how's and why's of such a ritual and how it could fit it into the story without changing the narrative.
A fun challenge.
So I eventually came to the conclusion that Mathias made a mistake. The ritual wasn't for determining a new host but for releasing the anchor on the previous one. I won't further take up this review with the mechanics of the process, it became quite involved in the end. Suffice it say, that means that Lara inadvertently completed the ritual by burning Himiko's old vessel! Opps.
So naturally my mind began to turn to the idea of Himiko's revival and I came to this website to see if any adventurous writers had similar thoughts.
You've read correctly, provided you've actually followed my long rambling prose this far; this was all an elaborate introduction. I'll do this but once, I promise.
In short (bearing in mind you'll likely never see me say that again) your story exceeded my every expectation. Your prose, while straining at times in its verbosity, is clear and free of pretense. Grammatically, you've no large issues except occasional missed punctuation, or in one case, in this chapter: a minor spacing issue with your quotation marks.
As to the story itself: what you've written thus far - and now I will confirm to having read all chapters - while not exactly what I was hoping for is still an extraordinary addition to the archive. In terms of characterization, Himiko, shines brightest of the two (and how I would love to see more characters) leads. I speak broadly here as I plan to make specific points in their appropriate chapters.
Your world building while minimal at this stage is intriguing enough to have me asking questions. Know I await further chapters with relish. You've earned a follower.
| AhumbleHalofan chapter 9 . 10/28/2014
Interesting and highly origional. Keep up the good work and I hope to see more soon.
| srgdgnfh chapter 3 . 10/15/2014
verbosity in this story is killing me
| chaosrin chapter 9 . 9/14/2014
Glad you updated.
Kind of wonder if we see humor in this story.
| Sachikins chapter 9 . 9/10/2014
About two months ago I was cleaning up my hard drive when I came across the painting I said I'd do. It was half finished and practically ancient history to me as I tucked it away in the 'redo' folder. Even after all that time I still remembered exactly what it was for and all my enthusiasm for this fic. But I didn't remember as well as I thought that's for sure! I just blazed through re-reading this all and with the first chapter I'd remembered just why I love it so much. Excellent writing chapter after chapter with descriptive detail everywhere a reader could ever want. I'll say it was well worth the wait! I hope things have been going well for you. This fic remains a must read for me and that's saying something considering my constantly rising standards. Keep it up!
| Shinkicker chapter 9 . 9/9/2014
This is pretty interesting. I like the somewhat dark nature of things. I guess Lara is going to be wooed in by Himiko over time. Curious if we shall see what's happening in the outside world, an islands mysterious reappearance and all that.
| Metroidvania chapter 1 . 9/8/2014
So, so happy to see this continued. Seeing this chapter alert in my inbox was a happy surprise. Apparently fanfiction dot net is taking my review of the last chapter 9 preview as a review for that, so I thought I'd pluck this one in elsewhere.
Lara seems a bit...withdrawn into herself, but I suppose it's quite different than her original ending of 'winning', as it were.
She's gone through this horrific physical ordeal (which I almost expect to come back up, even with Himeko's apparent healing), and now she's probably two steps from falling completely apart. The need to save Sam is still here, for certain, but Himeko's absorption seems to have incorporated Sam, however slightly.
This could be good...or bad, depending on if Himeko can release herself of her own volition. If it's not, and Himeko makes this clear (or lies about it), Lara's basically gotten herself stuck following her for...quite a while.
Meanwhile, the archaeologist in Lara is probably salivating at the chance for the excavation of the archives, but like Himeko's 'offer' of teaching Kenjutsu, it feels...stilted, not well thought out. The intent behind the offer is obvious, but to me, it doesn't quite seem like it would hold water in 'winning Lara over', so to speak.
I'm left wondering whether it's the Sam in Himeko that is trying to help Lara elevate her position up to 'bestie'/bodyguard in Himeko's court by rising from a lowly scribe to learning Kenjutsu (which is probably part of what has the commander pissed, not to mention someone who already tried to stop Himeko once learning how to be effective with more weapons), or Himeko's decided to try and tame a tiger. Unfortunately for her, it doesn't tend to work out so well if they're already grown. They might follow along, after having it beaten into them, but the animal always looks for a chance to have its day.
In any event, wherever you decide to go with this one, I'll be looking forward to reading along.
| Yuna chapter 9 . 9/7/2014
So happy you are continue this story!You're so talented and it's such a interessting one...
| wow chapter 9 . 9/7/2014
wow... please do not forget of this one again. please.
| Dark Caramel chapter 1 . 9/7/2014
A very nice idea!
| xLix chapter 9 . 7/6/2014
I won't comment on the story (which I really like, and hope will see a continuation some day) on this particular chapter because it's a previw, so instead, I wanted to leave YOU a few words. I have just recently begun to read Tomb Raider fanfiction, so I wasn't active when you started writing Royal Affection. I just read your 'bio' on your profile, and I must say that it is - and saying this may come across as really insensitive and just plain mean, so I apologize for any discomfort my words may cause - beautiful. The way you describe your feelings is so deep and analytical, I can't help but feel respect for you as a person with a particularly sharp mind.
It reads like life has been especially hard with you, and I am sorry for that. I really hope and wish for you to find a way to live this life despite all odds and problems that are thrown your way. I'm not telling you to stay strong or to find the strength to fend off life's difficulty for I doubt that the hard things in this world can be overcome by sheer strength. There has to be something else, comfort, the occasional letting go... that's why what you wrote on your wall touched me so deeply. It's rare for people to admit to anything our society might label a weakness - it's important, but so often neglected.
I feel like I am invading your personal space, so I will stop now. I wish you all the best.