Reviews for Stargate SG-1: Maybourne Unleashed
CuriousKitty chapter 2 . 4/29/2013
While i have only seen a few episodes of stargate, i still found this story very interesting and amazingly enough quite possible to follow plot wise. You have created a wonderful story here.
thunder18 chapter 2 . 4/27/2013
Great chapter Update soon
Atlan chapter 1 . 4/26/2013
I'm not sure if you're aware, but chapter 1 and chapter 2 are identical. I'm assuming (judging from the way the chapters reference things that never happened) that you ovewrote chapter 1 with chapter 2.
jbern chapter 2 . 4/26/2013
Continues to entertain. You overwrote chapter 1. Right now there are 2 copies of chapter 2 posted.
Loatroll chapter 2 . 4/25/2013
Sadface at not expecting many more chapters. Though anything is far better than nothing! I really love this idea, before I read this story I hadn't really considered it but.. really realistically (as much as realism is part of SG or any other sci fi show) Maybourne/the NID would /so/ do something like this.

Anyway, thanks for the great read! Really looking forward to more!
DragonForce chapter 2 . 4/25/2013
Another good chapter. It's really nice to see the SGC tech up.
However if you write more chapters, I think they need to be on new content. The SGC is too different for most canon events to happen now. Although I would like to see SGC teams/Mariens trying to retake Thor's ship from the Replicators. :)
Their new shoot while phased weapon is nice, but why not use it more? Like raiding Goa'uld facilities. They can't be hurt (at least not easily) and can penetrate just about any level of security, and can destroy everything they see - or disable defenses and then capture what they want. Like production lines for fighters or a couple capital ships - small things like that.

Anyway, I think what is needed in the next chapter is dealing with the consequences of releasing some of the technology. Teching up the SGC is all nice and fine, but if they have to handcraft every tool, it's going to be very expensive, slow, and inefficient to build anything. And that's before you consider the benefits to the population that new tech may have. And having thousands of companies play with the tech will result in new inventions the military wouldn't have considered or thought worthwhile (given their other pressing needs and limited work force).
Cold fusion: New car engine, anyone? That'd get the US off foreign oil in two years or so, while cutting off the major revenue source for the Middle East (and isn't it just about time for 9/11 in the story?). And all the countries investing into 'green energy' at the time would have to back paddle since clod fusion reactors would be far more environmental friendly than anything they have pushed. And while it would cost a lot of jobs in oil producing and refining as well as coal mining and gas stations, people would have a lot of money they do now not spend on gas for other things - and if the fusion cell production is kept in the US (US gov holds all patents, after all), that's a lot of manufacturing jobs. Lots of potential either way to discuss in the story, and with strong special interests on both sides.
Advanced computer tech: Whether to build space ships, to crack encryption, to calculate gate addresses, to simulate new technology, to analyze scientific data, or anything else, faster computers are better. And there's a lot of potential upwards with the tech they have. Currently they need to build every system for their own use by hand. Even if they don't release the best they understand, the new commercial systems should be enough for most of their own applications while at the same time pushing native tech development in all sectors ahead. Not sure how you could use it in the story, but maybe in high level debates of how to proceed. Or Maybourne releasing the tech - 'because I need he workforce currently building computers to work on the space ships' - and getting into trouble for that.
Goa'uld healing device: Being able to treat any/most injuries within minutes or hours would revolutionize medical treatment. It wouldn't help with diseases or such, but accidents and other injuries do cost quite a bit (both in treatment and lost productivity).
I'm sure you can come up with a few other ideas that fit the story you want to tell. Either way, politics and economy will have to be considered as the story goes forward.

Going back to last chapter, when they free SG1 from the prison planet, did they take Linea along? Other prisoners? Even the basic education from that planet should be useful for Earth scientists, but Linea especially could advance a lot of things. Cure for AIDS? New treatment for cancer? Treatment for genetic defects? And I have no doubt the NID would fund her immortality research. I wonder if she may even be able to handle the Asgard's cloning problem. Is she guilty? Well, we know how guilty SG1 was...

So, I'm looking forward to you taking the story in directions the TV show never went, adventures not yet told, and general Goa'uld ass kickery.
Rinn Brandt chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
Chapter 2 is a rewrite of chapter 1. Beyond that, amazing! Incredible! I always liked Maybourne more than Simmons, though Simmons made a better villain. That would be interesting to see! Maybourne vs Simmons. Woolsey was just annoying. I always imagined that (before his retirement to a desk job) he was some big-time assassin/super agent that got through it with his nondescript face and quiet personality, though.
davidwgroh chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
Just a note for you. Chapter 1 seems to be overwritten with a copy of the second chapter. I like the story and hope you at least cover up to the defeat of the goa'uld.
gatesmasher chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
I can't begin to tell you how much fun this is! However much you want to write, I'll gladly read! Thanks for posting!
Beyogi chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
Well... it's kinda sad that you plan to stop. This story really rocks imho. I kind of wonder what these Asgard make of earth though. Not so honorable, but way more efficient. What will mayborn make of the "stasis ship multiple personality disorder humans" and the terra formers (I think they were a sulfur based life form).

Thank you for writing this captivating story, I can't wait for the next chapter,
Beyogi chapter 1 . 4/24/2013
Yeah, this is a kinda more realistic development for SG1 ;)

Thank you for writing this captivating story,
trongod chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
Gotta admit a liking for harry, especially as portrayed here. love to see more and note that the entire SGC is - reluctantly - starting to come around to Harry's Way...

More soonest, if you'd be so kind!
romanhellhound chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
Has been an interesting read
thorin01 chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
While I’m enjoying this story so far I do have a minor complaint. Things are too easy. Earth is adapting weapons and other technologies too quickly and without any notable cost. In the show there were several major problems caused by trying to adapt alien tech. The use of the VR machine for training nearly killed Teal’c, some of the weapons backfired etc.

I don’t mind that adopting Maybourne’s tactics could have made things easier for Earth (as compared to the show). But you’re making it too simple. A couple of setbacks, even relatively minor ones, would give the story a more realistic feel.
tenchifew chapter 2 . 4/24/2013
Great story, great chapter.
Thank you for writing.
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