you redid the same chapter

Why did you put this chapter here it's the same as the last one

I would love a sequel

Yes! We need jealous dean

Maybe chuck/God so then I would have another writer around and could learn and also balance out my dark side with good, takes a lot of work,

I feel as if it is Naomi

My dog never stops barking

I got it from tumblr/Pinterest and my friends

Ooo i really liked this story c: i was in my room crying boo (but thats a good thing!). Haha have a nice day! Ja neh!
Jinx

Umm btw you have the same chapter up twice this and ch3 are identical... im really interested in your story c:

"Memories of Sam's bone breaking" Shouldn't Sam be in a hospital if Dean broke his bones ? And he if didn't, then why write "bone breaking" ?

You should have someone to beta your story... There is a lot of mistakes between "to" and "too", some punctuation mistakes (no comma when there should have one), plural forgotten ("20 question" instead of "20 questions"), the warnings and POV information at the wrong place (why after the chapter is started ?). There is also a huge amount of "Cas" and "Dean" to state who does what, instead of using "he", "the older boy", "the dark haired boy", etc. That makes the reading a bit more mechanical, less fluid. You also forget most of the time to put an apostrophe ("Deans mind" instead of "Dean's mind"). Again, English isn't my first language, but since I've noticed that I assume that it isn't grammatically accurate. And when Dean sees Castiel awake, he says "Morin sunshine"... I think it should be at least "Mornin' sunshine", no ?

You wrote "...Dean simply grab 4. 2 for him and 2 for Castiel". In the English language, you can't start a sentence with a number unless you spelled it out. Also, there's a rule stating that number under ten have to be spelled out. You will find the rules about writing numbers and numerals here : 10-rules-for-writing-numbers-and-numerals/

"Dean tried to remember what the hell actually happened last night" Does it mean he drank ? He drove while being drunk ? Not proud of Dean ! It he drank, then it's really surprising that he succeed to brake before killing off Castiel, considering he was trying to get kill and Dean had to have more than a few drinks to have to make an effort to remember what happened...

You might think I'm really, really picking at tiny details - but details are the differences between a story and a great story. I know the story in old, so you might have already improved your writing, but in case you haven't or in case you wanted to improve this story, well... I wrote my comments anyway.

Really, I feel like I'm harassing you with all the comments.

"Helpful criticism" : You do not need to write "X POV" in order for the readers to understand that the story is being told from X character's point of view. You can just start your story and we will figure out that it's Dean who's telling the story. We kinda know that from the other chapters, where the story is being told by a narrator at the third person but is still focalised on Dean's point of view. You don't need to say it. We get it. :)
Also, Gabriel says that Dean should have the "decadency" to help him. I think the word you meant was "decency" as "decadency" is "the state of being degenerate in mental or moral qualities"... which doesn't really make sense.
About the cocaine... Have you done any research about what is really does to someone ? Cocaine doesn't really give a "slow" high like pot or even heroin. It's not a soft kinda high. You feel amped up and ready to conquer the world - which mean that Sam wouldn't have follow Gab so easily and wouldn't get himself beat up by Dean. I saw people on coke, and nobody is relax and smooth : they are all jacked up, ready to fight if something is wrong. Some people accidentally kill themselves on cocaine because they think they're indestructible... That doesn't really goes with your coked-Sam. Also, how can someone not knows that coke is ? He mumble that it's something like "cocanine" but everybody have heard about cocaine in their life. If you talk about drugs, I think you should do some research to describe the right buzz it causes or have your character takes the right kind of drugs to have the buzz you want them to have.
I find it a bit weird that Dean suddenly has thoughts about "How, am I gay ?" when it doesn't seem to bother him at all to kiss Castiel... It seemed a bit off for me. Why is there no mention of Dean's sexuality before ? Why was the "Hey I'm gonna go in a room to kiss a guy" thing go so easily and then BAM he's all confused about it ? When he didn't even think twice before going in the room ? I don't get it.

I was wondering - how old are they ? There's not really a mention of which grade they're in or anything... Since Sam is already huge I guess he's at least 15 or 16, but doesn't that mean that Dean is too old for High School ? I know High School last longer in USA (I'm French Canadian), but I am kinda confused here.

Is the story beta'd ? Because there's a few mistakes here and there. "... threw his knuckles" I think it should be "through in knuckle" since 'threw' is the past tense of "throw"... There is also a few times that there's no capital letter at the beginning of a sentence, a "barely" that is written "barley"...

I'm kinda sad because I liked your story, but there's inconsistencies. Who just scream at a stranger that they're trying to kill themselves ? Or just... ask like that "Hey you saw my cuts" ? And admit that easily that they did it themselves ? I am really familiar with suicidal and self-harm issues, and I can hardly imagine someone that would just... say it like that without a deep trust in the other person. I know sometimes you feel out of control and desperate, but these moments are really triggering and you're not exactly at a place where you want to talk about it. You just want things to go away.

Anyway... I hope you won't be offend by my comments. I saw you wanted criticism so I am giving it to you. These are just my opinion, though I must add that I am a self-harmer and I have dealt with suicidal thought almost my entire life, so I feel like I am not entirely out of place to say that it feels a bit off. Meanwhile, I know that every suicidal person and self-harmer lives it very differently. Please, do not think I wrote this with any means to harm. I think your ideas are good, but the writing itself could benefits some improvements, and we can never improve ourselves without critics.

There's mention of Sam in the first chapter, but I don't remember anywhere saying that he's Dean's brother. So it's kinda awkward that Dean reacts so much to him kissing someone... There's a mention in the first chapter that Sam sometimes does he homework with Gabriel, but that doesn't really say that Dean and him are family. Have I missed something ?

This is the first fic since "We Found Love (In a Hopeless Place)" that I don't stop in the middle of my reading to write a critic about something that's bothering me - characters that aren't faithful to their own personalities (not the ones in the show, but the ones in the story), unrealistic reactions, too much punctuation ("What!" "Really !?") and use of capital letters to make someone screams...

And now.. I'm at the end of the chapter and I didn't see anything that bothers me. And I'm harsh.

I am glad of Cas' reaction to Dean touching him. It's probably because of self-harm or injuries, but even without that I find it a little bit unrealistic that two strangers, in High School, in a visibly very homophobic environment would just jump on each other (even in private). I am happy that there was an awkwardness and some small talk before the kiss, it added an "effet de réel".

I find it a bit weird (and cute too) that Dean calls Castiel "Cas", even if he obviously knows his name (they're in the same class and someone said 'Castiel' earlier), because they really don't seem very close - Dean didn't know he was Gabriel's brother.

There was only two things that almost bothered me : the sentence where you repeat "Gabriel" twice ("... and whisper something to Gabriel. Gabriel...") I think it was a little bit repetitive. Also, you wrote "a girls room" and I think it should be "a girl's room" - but well, English isn't my first language so it might be grammatically accurate.

It's a bit odd that Dean doesn't question why he's the one that Gabriel says should go with Castiel, but in the meanwhile he doesn't look like the kind of guy who's the most nervous about sexuality. So I guess it kinda make sense.

Oh ! Bit criticism : that was very, very short ! I feel like a barely know the characters, so I'm going to jump on the second chapter :)

Where his Cas' father and things with Sabriel?