|Reviews for Fate, Chaos and Plans|
| anononom chapter 2 . 6/27
Um...okay. Your story looked promising. It's an interesting idea, 'cause I haven't seen anything like it before that anyone gets kicked off their team. And it's not even your grammar that I don't like (although you said to point them out, all I can say is that you're missing a bunch of periods and random punctuation, and tbh, there's a lot of grammar stuff that still needs to be fixed)-it's the OOCness of your characters.
First of all, Mizuki wasn't Iruka's superior. He was never a jounin, and he was actually made Iruka's assistant. The whole issue Mizuki had was that he wasn't given a full teaching position, even though he'd been out in the field longer than Iruka, because there were suspicions he'd killed a team member in order to complete a mission with more ease. Second of all, those doubts that Iruka and Neji have about Lee, well, it's not like I like Lee either, but just because he can't use genjutsu or ninjutsu himself doesn't mean he can't detect the usage of them. Mainly, genjutsu. They're trained to recognize that they're in a genjutsu, and while he can't do the chakra thing to dispel it, he can stab himself to dispel it. That's another way of dispelling a genjutsu, if he's aware of it, and his awareness of a genjutsu can be trained just like in any other ninja.
And Gai isn't that ridiculous. He'll definitely use those words in a report, but he's not going to be so flippant that his reports are so hard to understand other people have to use a code. I mean, wtf? He's still a respectable jounin of Konoha. I get that a lot of people don't like him and Lee (and yes, that's actually including me) because they're just so fucking annoying, but it doesn't mean that you can just make them out to be complete idiots here...
| AlwaysAnonymous chapter 24 . 6/11
Hi. I just wanted to tell you how awesome this story is. I love how you put Naruto Neji and Shikamaru all on thesame team. No fangirls on this squad! XD I also love how quickly you had Neji get over his fate obsession. Him and Naruto really do have a lot more in common than people think. I gotta admit, I'm super excited for the Chunin exams in Kumo. I want to see how Neji reacts to the people responsible for his dad's death.
Awesome plot, awesome characterization, no OCs... this story is the best!
| BBBBGarden Golden chapter 18 . 5/30
uh... actually considering what we NOW from the manga, without the sage mode, Naruto (VEEERY probably) wouldn't be able to beat the Kyuubi, or Pein for that matter... must not forget that the whole point of learning Senjutsu was to defeat an oponent that managed to kill Jiraiya, someone whose - regardless of how much of a pervet he is, and pround at it - skills are nothing to laugh at... Besides, also without Senjutsu, he wouldn't be able to actually hurt Obito when he turns himself into the Juubi Jinchuuriki, because the only thing that actually works against him is the Sage Mode...
| Link0011 chapter 18 . 5/10
Damn...I hate the cat clan...I was hoping you'd have him keep the toads...or are you going to give him 2? Remember sasuke summons both snakes and Hawks and is capable of doing so at then end of the manga.
| iitrnr chapter 24 . 3/30
Quite an interesting story. Hope to see more. Thanks.
| winddemon199 chapter 7 . 3/5
Yeah I wouldn't bash if I were you you'll lose readers
| winddemon199 chapter 5 . 3/5
Ok your exaggerating on Naruto chakra reserves dude by like alot
| steve chapter 24 . 2/28
I hope you continue with the story. it is very good and fun to read.
| Shae Vizla chapter 24 . 2/28
Very good story.
I think snapping was in ther end better for Neji... and Sasuke. Neji seems to have lost as well his filtrer (the HOLY SHIT tend to prove it) and was able to form friendship : first he come to respect Iruka who showed him you could excell at something without being a badass, he had good relationship with some of the boys and a mutual despise of fangirls with Sasuke, and finally Naruto win him over.
I was amused that Iruka let the jounin make the selection : Kakashi secured Naruto and Neji because he wanted his sensei's son and managed to fool his pairs in order to snatch the Nara's lazy genius. Kurenai have a three girls team and I think she would be well armed to crush fangirl's tendancies by showing Ino and Sakura that a real kunoichi is. The fact that the two girls are so weak allowed Hinata to take the leadership and helpled by the fact she had a better relationship with her cousin, she grew more confident. Asuma's team is more hazardous but Shino have a good head and I think he's going to takle the lead. In the other hand, Sasuke learned hard that he was now in the lowest of the shinobi's pyramid and that he need to forget his pride and ask for help. The fact that Tenten is not a fangirl probably help too.
In his great surprise, Kakashi have a solid team. Neji is nothing like Gai's report, he and Naruto balance each other and Shikamaru fit well with them. Like Kakashi, I was surprised that Gai could be so petty and try to denied them C-rang and the Chuunins Exams. He probably want to avoid his team and particulary Lee to be against Neji and think they're going to make chuunin. Frankly, it's stupid because Lee didn't have that it's needed to be a Chuunin (I can't understand how he was promoted in the manga) ; yes, he's insanely strong in taijutsu for a genin but he didn't have a pound of common sense. His match against Gaara as well that Shikamaru's promotion in the manga showed it : a chuunin must be capable to evaluate his adversary and know when to abandon when he's surclassed. It didn't bcause problem in the manga because he stayed in his team after his promotion but if he had to lead a team and encounter a stronger opposants, like Akatsuki, he would have had all killed.
For conclude, I was amused by Orochimaru's reaction at the new about the Chuunins Exams in Kumo adn his childlish glee at the perspective of shocking his ex sensei and fellow shinobi by intending openly without possible retaliation.
| prstik chapter 24 . 2/13
Come on man I love this story n team soooo much . Make it something epic . Please !
| Ranger Station Charlie chapter 24 . 2/14
That was my same reaction when I found out about Zabuza's sword's ability. Doesn't feel too much like a crack fic, you just seam like you lost the direction you originally were going for.
| Guest chapter 18 . 2/11
I'm sorry, I was loving the story right up until Naruto got the cat contract. It just felt too forced, and Naruto without toads, therefore cutting one of the links he had to his father and Jiraiya, leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
| Arbitrary Doom chapter 24 . 2/12
I really love this fix so far! But yeah the wave arch is a bit of a trap imo...I have seen a lot of great setups stall there...don't be afraid to just skip over anything you don't want to deal with. The Devil is in the details. ..anyway great job! I love the Neij, Naruto interaction!
| bashinsucs chapter 2 . 2/9
Why are you bashing Lee and Gai? If it's that kind of fic I'll probably bow out now - I mean a more meaningful point would be examining the underlying psychosis that makes a kid want to kill another kid because the BRANCH Line of the Hyuuga couldn't be bothered to do their fucking job and safeguard a three year old baby girl. But whatever Lee and Gai are really easy targets I guess.
| KioshiUshima chapter 24 . 2/11
I love this; who cares where it's going, it's already half-gone and we can't stop. CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP! I'm hoping you'll continue with this, because it's sort of fantastic. Have a great week!