I'm sold. More please.

Ohhh what's this? A wild Hermione-In-Slytherin story appears!

I've been waiting for such a story for a long time. And, well, you gained a reader simply by avoiding all cliches I would've expected in such a story. Let's see. It's all so very normal. Ron doesn't explode into a fit of violence and douche-baggery, and yet displays his self-declared loyalty by being his usual snake-hating self. Slytherin house starts bullying Hermione as soon as they find out, but it's limited to childish pranks (thank god). Snape is still dramatic and overbearing, but at the same time he's mostly clueless. That's great by the way. ... and so on.

I guess you're simply avoiding the issues usually associated with fangirls waxing about Snape's voice.

Now onto pacing. I'm glad you left out the Hogwarts train and cut right to the divergence. But I wonder wether you have some kind of overarching plot planned? As far as I can see it seems as if you're planning to focus on Hermione's character development and interplay with Snape and I hope you're going to deliver on that. Frankly you can assume that each and every reader already knows the original plot (such as it is) and setting and even only following the first year in that regard would be mostly tedious. So I hope character focussed writing it is. (Which on a side note is something 'Trial By Ninja' lacked). The summary elaborates that we can expect to see Hermione embracing the darkness (so to speak). ... I'm rambling. I'm sorry. What I want to say is that I hope you have some Fast-Forward or time skipping device up your sleeves or you'll get bogged down by freaking four years of mostly pointless Hogwarts shenanigans until Voldi enters the stage. I *think* every other story on ff-net that tried to follow the canon plot to closely over that time span died from plot fatigue.

I guess I should summarize my thoughts a bit. You have the character's down pat, their interactions are interesting, believable and full of honest faults. I can see the main drive of the story being Hermione's and Snape's interactions. All this will make for great chapters.

Now all you have to do is piece the chapters together in such a way that as a results we'll have a great story, too. The canon plot really isn't very conductive to that. You'll have the same problem that every Sakura centric story faces in the Naruto fandom. The world is set up in such a way as to make the original protagonist central to the evolution of the world, while characters such as Sakura or Hermione might be more interesting as protagonists, you have to go extra length to let their actions have wider consequences.

All this isn't that much of a problem in a character driven story, but every reader will know how the world is set up and as such you have - as a fanfiction writer - the additional problem of making the reader care about your focus character while the world is set up to revolve around someone else.

There are ways around that. For example in "Time Braid" the whole set up of the world is thrown out of the window. "Destiny's Past" is about a Hermione from another 'failed' timeline. "Dangerous" plays after the original plot and Hermione has already turned dark and relates her story through flashbacks. "Loyalty" upsets Sakura's situation in such a way that we never quite know where in the overall conflict she's standing.

I'm not commenting whether or not those are good stories. Just that they avoid the problem of their protagonists not being the worlds designated hero. (Note that "Dangerous" still sucks in that regard, I only picked it as an example for a narrative device. finding decent Hermione centric stories not focussing on romance is hard.)

Okay. I think/hope I've more or less made my point. Please excuse the rambling, but yeah I'm going to read this.

Very interesting story. You've tagged it Hermione&Severus, but thankfully it is lacking the romance tag. Hermione still seems quite Slytherin influenced already. I wonder if she really ends up as a Dark Lady, but I figure she's on her best way to get there.

Thank you for writing this captivating story,
Beyogi

A good start. Now I wonder what kind of Dark Lady will we get at the end...

amazing!
cant wait to see where this is going :}

This is an amazing story. I've read many stories of slytherine Hermione but this by far is the best. I mean it's not too sudden. It has it's own flow and there's obvious struggle hermione is having being in that house. Most stories just sorta make hermione click in too well out of the blues so it's sometimes a let down.

Love it! Keep up the good work.

This story has some amazing potential. I'll look forward to your next update!