Reviews for Bag of Bones chapter 21 . 6/15/2013
This story was so painful to read. It had so many hard truths in it, and no one was left unblemished. You showed everyone's faults, and no one escaped. You painted the characters as they are, people with faults, and virtues, and fatal mistakes, and grudges. I could have gone for a bit more of the reconciliation and forgiveness, but it was heart achingly beautiful. This story kind of ripped me up inside. Thank you.
cosmiclove chapter 21 . 2/4/2013
I am so impressed by your story!
Neinka chapter 21 . 2/4/2013
oooo I thought it was Dawn..but I was really shaken after the cat. I know it had happy ending but Willow should get more help. She is scaaaary...
I really like it! Thank you for sharing! (and it was refreshing to read a story where Buffy is being nice to Spike..for a change)
spike and stella chapter 1 . 9/18/2012
i think i am hooked already... looking forward to the next chapter.
cavemenftw chapter 21 . 9/7/2012
Holy christ on a cracker that was some good character work.
Every character was believable and just felt so true. True to not only the characters as I'd seen them onscreen, but true in the growth of said characters. It all just felt like natural progression.

This is something like what I was wanting after the darkness after season 6.
Also on the plus side, these Scoobies actually dealt with their problems.

Finding it a decade after the fact, but I'm. So glad I did.
EnglishChocolate chapter 21 . 2/1/2012
Well I have finally finished my journey...and I gotta say I loved it. The whole lot of it. You really do have a gift in telling a story, especially telling a story your way. There is so much in this read that leaves me in awe. You've left no stone unturned, crossed all the t's and dotted the i' I’ve said before you've hit every nail on every head that needed a good whack.

For those that may have told you are wrong on your depiction of Xander. I tell you they are the ones that are wrong. Xander had always put Buffy on a pedestal high in the sky. He judged her actions harsher then he judge anyone's including his own when he's done far worse. Much of the time though he may have been friends with Buffy and at times very helpful, it was to his own purpose and short he needed a reality check. As did Giles as he also made huge mistakes regarding Buffy.

I like how you've left the story up in the air as it gives us the opportunity to interact with the story and come up with our own ending. For me, my ending is both Buffy and Willow agree to take things slow. Starting with movie night now and again...but taking it at Buffy's speed. However Willow is not allowed to live in Buffy's house ever again...Buffy's position on this may change but also may not...who knows, but that’s where my version of this story's ending goes.

There are two other stories that i have read that have stood out in my mind ever since I’ve read them 'Let's Get Lost' and 'A Terrible Thing' both written by someone who calls herself- 'Herself' 'Let's Get Lost' is about Buffy post being ripped out of heaven, being killed and turned by some random low level vamp - so obviously NOT SPIKE. Spike finds her too late and so they set out to Mexico why he helps her come to terms with her own death, being turned and how she feels about what lead to her death (being ripped out of Heaven by her own friends) it’s a fabulous and emotional read. 'A Terrible Thing' however is a different breed of story altogether. It's about Spike coming back from the dead, Post Buffy and Angel. Buffy is much older (late 20's early 30's i think in this story) and its about her finding Spike alive after all these years. It's a story set in Vietnam of all places, it isn't pretty or fluffy or lovey dovey. It’s frank, honest, very dark at times, emotionally draining...but is the most beautiful, heart wrenching and intimately written story i have ever read…and no I am not over selling it.

I have never read this stories since, both are quite epically long, ‘A Terrible Thing’ especially long and is one you have to put down every so often simply through sheer emotional exhaustion, at times you have to re-read a passage or chapter to fully grasp what has happened. But also because I’m not sure I can go through that emotional rollercoaster ride again just yet. But these two are by far my most favourite Spuffy stories of all time Bag of Bones has now permanently cemented itself in the third spot on the podium…and trust me that no easy thing.

I will most likely go on to read more Spuffy fan-fiction after this, but know this…YOURS WILL ALWAYS BEEN ON THE PODIUM. I have enjoyed this read immensely and I am glad I took a chance to read it…I would have unknowingly missed out on a great thing.


I wrote in one of these chapters that I’d be very disappointed if I got to the end of this stunning read to find that not one bit of sex was had. I WAS WRONG, getting to the end I can appreciate the story even with the lack of sex. I love Buffy Spike SEX and is why I only ever search for M rated stories. Simply because the thought of them is so hot together I just love it so much. It is very difficult for me to read a non M story and love it or even like it…what can I say, I’m sex driven. But getting to the end of this story I can say that although it would have been nice I am not at all disappointed at all in the lack of it. And can understand why an explicit sex filled chapter wouldn’t work in this story at all…not matter how spectacularly written it was. The story just didn’t need it. The only reason I begged so hard for it is because with your frank writing styles I know such a story, such explicit and steamy sex would be written wonderfully by you. It’s all the slow teasing in the story and the ‘she'd dazzled him so much that he'd obviously come his brains out and didn't have any to spare’ and the ‘Buffy had disappeared a couple of minutes before, and Spike hadn't gone after her. Didn't want Rupert to think he had nothing on his mind except getting laid, and that wasn't a lie. It was in the top five…okay, the top two, but the whole night and morning was a fucking fantasy come true. Him and her, together all night. Waking up in each other’s' arms, and her looking right at him, not away because she was ashamed or looking for her clothes, to hide her traitorous body from his eyes.’

With those few lines I just knew if you ever wrote a sex scene it’d probably be the best Spike Buffy sex scene ever written by anyone ever. And trust me I’ve read alooote of stories with aloooooot of sex.

Personally I think you owe it to yourself, your readers and Spuffy fans all over the world to write an interlude to this story. Maybe it happens in Spike crypt after both he and Buffy have gone to the city dump to beautify his home with and they Christian the bed. That way they can go all out and be as load and naughty and bad as they wanted cos they wouldn’t have to worry about Giles or Dawn hearing…whether anyone else hears their moans, groans, screams and roars if the odd person is taking a stroll through the cemetery and hear them from the bottom of Spike’s crypt…well they haven’t really thought of that, and they don’t really care if they do. We’ve all heard of Spike’s legendary 5 hour straight claim…you could be the one to really do it justice.

All in all I will just finish this review succinctly as possible – YOU ROCK!
EnglishChocolate chapter 20 . 1/30/2012
Slightly anti climatic but that might be because its nearly 1am. I do love that Buffy and Spike can stop touching eachother. You capture intimacy beautifly in just a few words.
EnglishChocolate chapter 19 . 1/27/2012
OH MY FRICKIN GOD...I just can't get enough of this story. I never once expected that at all. I swear i thought it was Dawn all along to. You had me fool - hahaha and i love ya for it. This really is the best Spuffy i have ever read.

I mean have you seen how many reviews i have left. his story simply is no joke. You've crossed all the t's n dotted all the i's uncovered all the issues that had been ignored by many both on and off screen. You have written a story about post rape and post soul but have come at it from a completely different perspective then any other story that covers the subject. Your writing style is amazing and you have woven this story so expertly and beautifuly that i am in awe. I really thought it was Dawn. I never once suspected it was Willow for a second, yet writing it this story the way you have, with little bread crumbs i can't explain why i'm so surprised.

Of course it was Willow, but she fooled me...which means you fooled me right until the end, and again i love you for it. I know i'm getting closr to the end and i'm actually a little sad because of it. Its been and blessing reading this and i'm so glad i decided to click this.

I do hope you get to read all my reviews, simply because you needs to know that you have an amazing gift as a story teller. Why on earth Joss couldn't meet you an get some ideas i really don't know. But i'm glad his creation BTVS has allowed you to to write this epic story...and i got to read it. Seriously i love this. How this is the first time i've ver read this i don't know. But who cares, better late then never as they say.

I know i'll have more to say on the final to chapters no doubt. But i'm hungry and NCIS is about to start (the new season) so i need to take a i'll just end this chapter review with a simple - YOU ROCK!

Rediscovering the Spuffy stories (that's what i've been doing recently) has been very enjoyable. But by far this has been the best read of all..well Post Rape Soul having.
EnglishChocolate chapter 18 . 1/27/2012
Dong dong dooong.
EnglishChocolate chapter 17 . 1/27/2012
YAY! He got his duster back...almost everything is right with the world again. A scene with them actually having sex as opposed to us reading the aftermath and mentions of it would return the world balance completely.

Quote - She knelt beside him and covered his hand with hers, nudging her forehead against his. "It's a part of you," she whispered. "It's a part that hurts. It's a part I don't like to remember. But it's a part of you, and I couldn't get rid of it." -

As i've said before, beautiful yet sad and horrific in a way. You write both wonderfully well.
EnglishChocolate chapter 16 . 1/26/2012
God, hahahaha its almost painfully funny how your dragging out the misguided Anya focus on Giles string.

ROTFL...Seriously the whole coversation between Anya and Giles as he's telling her about the book store is just tooo priceless for words. I mean come on already, how can they keep getting their wires so wonderfuly funny yet disarstarly wrong.

Quote - ""That's what you tell yourself? Bullshit. Not couldn't. Didn't. The difference between him and me is that he knew you inside and out, knew what you thought, and what you felt, and how you tasted, and decided he'd prefer to live without you. That time with you two at the school? With those ghosts? When he got back to the house he scrubbed his skin 'til it bled. He couldn't stand your touch on his skin," he spat cruelly. God damn her, he was sick of living in Angel's shadow. He was sick of pretending there was a difference between Angel and Angelus, besides a u and a fucking s. Angel only loved when his real nature was shackled. What the hell kind of love was that? Even with his soul, he left her. Left her to skulk around L.A. and frighten tourists with his hair."

WOW, You go deep man and thank God for it. Angel/us i never much saw a difference between them either. If Spike could love withou his soul Angelus could have done too...only he couldn't because in the end he just cared for her, but loved? like the in love type of love? - NO. If you love someone you stay and fight through your problems, you don't run off and give the whole 'it's not you, its me ' speach. Angel was never going to be the one who made Buffy happy. Even if he had stayed and Spike had come back (ohhhh, now wouldn't that be an interesting take on things. If Angel never left in season 3) i believe Buffy would have out grown him naturally, and Spike came back in season 4 like he did and got chipped and all the rest of it happened but with Angel still being there. I think nature would have drawn Spike and Buffy towards each other regardless whether Angel still be in the picture or not.

Quote - ""By the right person, eh? And I wasn't him. You punished me for loving you when Angelus didn't!"

The air left Buffy's lungs in a whoosh, and for a moment she couldn't see anything. "You're—he couldn't. He couldn't love me because he didn't have a soul."

"That's what you tell yourself? Bullshit. Not couldn't. Didn't. The difference between him and me is that he knew you inside and out, knew what you thought, and what you felt, and how you tasted, and decided he'd prefer to live without you. That time with you two at the school? With those ghosts? When he got back to the house he scrubbed his skin 'til it bled. He couldn't stand your touch on his skin," he spat cruelly. God damn her, he was sick of living in Angel's shadow. He was sick of pretending there was a difference between Angel and Angelus, besides a u and a fucking s. Angel only loved when his real nature was shackled. What the hell kind of love was that? Even with his soul, he left her. Left her to skulk around L.A. and frighten tourists with his hair.

Tears glittered in Buffy's eyes, but she didn't try to stop him. Why should she? he thought bitterly. Turnaround's fair play. He'd been quiet and taken it when she tore out his heart that day in the crypt, and now it was her turn to take it as he destroyed what was probably the last happy memory she had left.

All of a sudden the anger left his body and he deflated, hating himself. Same kind of thing that bastard Angelus would have said, Spike thought. The kind of thing the wanker got off on, crushing young girls' hearts.

'Course, Angelus hadn't claimed to be in love with any of them at the time. Maybe even without a soul he was the better man.

He opened his mouth to apologize and shut it abruptly. That was his pattern, wasn't it? Attack her, abuse her, apologize as if words meant anything after he'd done something like that? Lose control, attack the woman he lived for, then mumble some words and think it would be all better?

It was all he could do.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, barely audible. He raised his voice, louder, 'til he almost sounded normal. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Don't apologize if you don't mean it," Buffy said, her voice strained. "You can say what you think. But you're wrong."

Should he leave her with it? The lie? It was comforting. She needed comfort. He wanted her to have it, even if he wasn't the one who gave it to her.

She'd never held anything against anyone, ever. Not Giles, for drugging her and nearly getting her and Joyce killed. Not Harris, for summoning Sweet from whatever circle of hell tap dancers inhabit. Not Willow, for bringing her back—no, it had taken her nearly killing Dawn to do that.

And no, not Spike, although he'd earned her enmity in a hundred ways, intimate and remote.

"Angel—he loved you. But he left," he told her carefully. "And Captain Cardboard left, too. And your father—" Spike grabbed Buffy's arm when she would have turned away. "And they're the biggest bunch of losers I ever saw in my life. They loved you, sure. I believe it. But they didn't love you enough, or they would have stayed. What did you think? That you drove them away? Threatened their precious little masculinity, didn't cry on their shoulders enough? So they tucked their tails between their legs and ran for the hills?" A muffled choking sound escaped Buffy, and Spike shook her.

"Well, bugger them! They're a bunch of idiots, couldn't find their way out of a one-room shack if there wasn't a sign over the door! Do you know why I left, Buffy? In the spring, after I—after I—" Spike broke off.

Buffy shook her head wordlessly.

"I left because you deserve better than me. And I didn't leave it at that, I wanted to become better, for you. To become what you deserved. And I had to go to the other side of the goddamn planet, and do insane things I would never have imagined I'd do. And by the end I thought I was going to die, but I wouldn't stop, because if I didn't I wouldn't be able to have you. And that was enough to make me go on. Just the thought of you.

"If those buggers didn't want you enough to stay around, the only thing that means is they weren't good enough for you to wipe your shoes on. Because someone who really loves you will do whatever it takes to be with you. If not, it's a pretty piss-poor excuse for love."

He didn't know if she heard him, she was crying so hard. Her face was against his chest, and her strong little arms were wrapped around his waist. Squeezing him to her."

See, this is why i love this story so much. This whole scene is painfully raw yet incredibly beautiful and touching. You master both wonderfully well.

Not pushing him away.

Painfuly sad, yet beautifu an tou
EnglishChocolate chapter 15 . 1/26/2012
I just can't help it, i have to Quote when i'm reviewing this story. It's probably annying you but i feel i must high light the parts of the story that for me are not only utterly genus but is just so perfectly right. And you write far more eloquntly then i so why spoil perfection? So not to break with tradition...

Quote - "Which he'd never tried to do, because he knew a great way to turn off the Buffy spigot when he heard one. Said that, he would have been uninvited again and left to stare at her bedroom window. Bad enough he'd said that thing about Slayers their first morning together—that had been stupendously stupid. And it was hard to explain that she'd dazzled him so much that he'd obviously come his brains out and didn't have any to spare, so show a bloke a little compassion, all right? What he'd been trying to say was, she's taken what he thought was the best thing he'd ever experienced and made it look like nothing compared to her. The glory he'd sought, the dangerous rep—they were nothing next to her."

I laughted at cummed his brains out...Seriously 15 chapters in and no sex and i'm still loving this story, however i must be honest. I clicked to read this story because it was an M because honestly who doesn't like Spuffy all smutty n sex filled? And though this story is soring above nearly all other Spuffy stories i have ever read. I'd be very dissapointed when i get to the end of this tale and find there is no Spuffy sex having in it at all for the simple fact that not having it in would be a crime of epic preportions. You write so fricken brilliantly that it'd be an injustice to us readers who have stumbled on this absolute gem of a story and relished that it isn't a weepy ,moany, fluffy peice of rubbish that is so OOC it just isn't Spike or Buffy and so not Spuffy at all.

You've dealt with the attempted rape and Spike getting his soul and who he id with it so much differently then most others i have read. And its just so refreshing. What happened in the Bathroom and during their thing was more then many people...(especially pro Angel Buffy or pro Xander Buffy supporters) have tried to make it out to be. There was more to it then just attempted rape n just sex. Of course i'm not excusing what happened in the bathroom, it was wrong. But it was never as simple as that.

Anyway...i got slightly of topic there, i was talking about why i'd be dissapointed when i get to the end and find out theres no Spuffy sex having...because you write so bloody hot when they're not having sex so lord knows you'd do it justice. Your style of writing and the fact that you have yet to get a thing wrong (in my view) or yet to let poor judgements, bad mistakes be ignored or glossed over. The fact that you have written Buffy n Spike so refreshly frank and uncaring about the approval of them and their own opinions means you have the gift to give us all something spectactularly hot to read. And after all of this teasing ( i mean i understand that they're taking things slow and just letting things happen natural) but it'd be very unsatisfying for everyone involved. To both Spike and Buffy and readers alike.

LOL - Quote "Giles didn't count. He was too old for sex, anyway."

I seriously cannot stop laughing.
EnglishChocolate chapter 14 . 1/26/2012
Yeah, i mean whatever did happen to Olivia? I know she was only in it for what 1 or 2 eps but she made an impression none the less.

Surprised by the ending to this chapter? Absoluely, i donno why though but i didn't expect them to move so fast...Where is Spike's duster though? it's a question that has been nagging me since his lack of it was mentioned. I know he left it at Buffy's house when he ran out, but i mean it hasn't been thrown out or anything...right? It has been saved and hidden away somewhere? Because if that coat so much as touched the inside ofa trash bin, whoever did that should be burned. It is one gourgeous coat, and Spike won it fair n square. He should have his coat.

It seems so wrong to have such a short review, considering the length of many of my others. I'm just not that eloquent with words as i'd like...especially when i'm giddy n excited about reading something so refreshly brilliant.
EnglishChocolate chapter 13 . 1/26/2012
HAHAHAHA LOL, i laughed out loud, at this...QUOTE - "Giles had always had an appreciation for blueberry pancakes. On their own, pancakes were rather boring. Bland and soft, and really too sweet for breakfast, to his mind. But with blueberries, they were something else entirely. A few mornings when he had been over early to speak with Buffy he had enjoyed Joyce's blueberry pancakes, which had a pleasant bite to them. He'd watched her wash fresh blueberries and toss them with sugar before folding them into the pale batter, and the freshness had given the pancakes an appealing crunch.

The pancakes with which Buffy had presented him a few minutes before also crunched, but that was because they hadn't defrosted completely."

I was wondering where this line of reminising about Joyce's Pancakes was leading to, didn't expect it to lead to Buffy's culinary challenges. Very funny. Someone should really teach that woman how to cook...even if its just the basics.

Hehehe, you know 13 chapters in i have yet to mention it, but i find myself having to in this one. Anya and Giles? I'm not anti the idea...but at the same time i don't know about it either. Thinking about it i guess it wouldn't really be that odd and i actually do think Giles did come to value her and her opinion working along side each other and i think he could apppriciate her far mor then Xander ever could...having said i don't know about the two of them i do like the wat Anya is going about things. Its just far to funny an way that it can't not be liked. Anya decidiing that they are both in a relationship but that he at the moment doesn't quite know it...that's jus sooo Anya, and you just gotta love it.

QUOTE - ""Xander, she does heroic things, but she's a person," pointed out Anya. "Not a comic book hero. Not an action figure. She's a person, and she's allowed to lose her temper and hold grudges and make bad romantic decisions. Or perfectly good ones that you just don't approve of."

"I don't think she's an action figure," protested Xander, wounded. He only wanted Buffy to be Buffy, the girl he'd met and immediately fallen into…uh, admiration for so many years before. Who'd been so brave, and done what was right no matter how hard it was. Who had opened up his world, and Willow's.

"Then why do you get so upset when she breaks out of her little mold?"

"I don't want to force her in a mold, I just want her to be Buffy," he said desperately.

"Well, who else do you think she's being? Just because she's not doing what you want doesn't mean she's not being herself. You want her to be exactly the same as she's always been, but everything in her life has changed, and you can't expect that it—" Anya stopped and drew a breath. "Do you know why Giles left last year, Xander?"

Yeah Anya you stick it to him! Maybe he'll finally wake the fuck up that his view of the world is just that-HIS VIEW and the world doesn't revolve around what he approves of...Again i so love you.

QUOTE -""And she has grown up. You have to let her do it her way. You know, Xander, the trouble with putting people on a pedestal is that sometimes they find it hard to keep their balance. And most people prefer the view from the ground, anyway."

Yeah, you tell him, Anya.
EnglishChocolate chapter 12 . 1/26/2012
Quote - ""You came here to ask me that?" he probed gently. He wasn't going to gainsay Buffy, even if friendship was a piss-poor way to describe their relationship. A memory jolted into place and he saw himself with Buffy and Angel in the magic shop, years before, telling the two of them that they'd never be friends; they would experience the highs and lows together, but nothing as bloodless as friendship. What a dolt he'd been, what a fool; Drusilla had been right all along. He hadn't even seen Angel before him as he'd said it, imagining himself with Buffy instead. As if she and Paingel had ever argued about anything. As if they'd shagged more than that first disastrous time, as if they'd ever had the spleen to hate each other. They didn't have passion and fire between them, they had dreams and silences. They barely knew each other. Angel didn't want to know the Slayer, her depths, her capacity for savagery; he wanted only the pristine maiden warrior—St. Joan in ankle boots. Still indulging in his taste for underage girls, even with his soul, Spike thought with distaste."

There you go again with your perfection. It's true Angel never really got Buffy, he saw her as a fair maiden warrior hero and they never really had passion. It was all about day dreaming and seeing what they wanted for eachother but not seeing the reality. People always sight Angel as Buffy's big love just because he was her first big love. But though he may have been her first, i never once felt that he was the love of her life...he was just the first.

Quote - "But Spike loved all of her. He loved her selflessness, her ferocity, her devotion to those she loved, the way she'd suddenly shove him down and crack his belt to see the red marks it made across his flesh. All of it."

BEAUTIFUL, I love this line because its true. Part of Buffy enjoyed the "terrible" things she/they did to and with one another. She just didn't want to enjoy it, thought it wrong.

Quote - "And then a wash of red covering the floor in front of him, as his body rejected that which sustained it."

See this is why i love the way you write...and then a wash of read covering the floor. It is in't 'his blood spilled out of him covering the floor' or ' the floor layered red with his blood" its 'and then red covering the floor in front of him, as his body rejected that which sustained it'

That's so fricken wicked man. It took me a moment to realise it meant he was bleeding. I love storys that make me thinnk, even if its something small like realising metaphore when its not always instantly clear what is meant.
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