sounds enticing!

Stick with hinata

Also, the story line with Tsunade wasn't resolved, and that was probably something that should have happened.

Since you're all a writing team, I suppose I'll leave a proper critique.

This story was an interesting read with some original ideas. You didn't hesitate to show the nastier side of the shinobi life, nor did you go too far with it. I very much appreciated Hinata's development and that Team 7 grew closer while staying themselves. You piqued my interest and kept it with a good balance of mystery (Itachi, etc.) and resolution.

On the flipside, it's looooooong. 210,000 words is two enormous novels or three normal ones, and I don't think the material covered merited that much space. There's a lot of "flab" that could be trimmed, especially at the beginning, where there are too many trivial interactions, too much exposition, and generally too many words per concept. I do think this aspect improved as the story went on, which meant that many of the important plot points were concentrated in the latter half, but also that the latter half was an easier read.

I see this story ended a couple years ago now, so I imagine the authors have made improvement in that time. Still, I hope they find this commentary somewhat helpful.

I get the feeling that this was such a bad choice on Sarutobi's part.

Amazing chapter! Though disappointed that kakashi would lose a llimb...in my opinion kakashi is strong enough to beat kisame alone but your story and i feel he isnt done for excited to read more!

Great chapter! I loved the fight, the revelation to Naruto that Hinata had gone through hell and the cliffhanger!

Neg...ative feedback?" questioned Hinata with a gulp, awkwardly managing to push out the rest of her word without stuttering.

"Yes, it is when one is conditioned to act a certain way through some form of pain or punishment," explained the older man as though he were reading from a textbook. "Positive feedback, the opposite, is when one is rewarded for acting a certain way. No need to fear though, most ninja only respond to the former." This is a quote from your story which is phenomenal by the way. But that is actually not negative feedback while you have the right idea it is considered punishment while negative feedback is basically the coach or person showing disappointment and voicing it. While punishment is considered punishment... just a hey by the way for you. Otherwise amazing story

I'm sorry but the end there... It breaks my head. The Third is all like "I'm sorry but even accidental insubordination is something I can't allow." Then he hands Hinata over to Danzo who is all like "Fuck you and your instructions Third, I make my own rules." That is so painfully illogical I think I lost brain cells trying top parse it. Any other good in this story is washed away by this obvious crack just for a lame ass 'twist'.

This story was pretty entertaining and original, as well as extremely well written. It's a pity that the subplot of Tsunade being Orochimaru's hostage wasn't resolved, at least in this story.

Okay, to read the sequel now!

:D

awesome

this was bad tbh

Nope, even a day with Danzo would be cruel and horrible punishment due to the man's inhumanity.

Okay Naruto should've given Sasuke a black eye for each time he stole a jutsu from his own teammate.