|Reviews for Owner|
| kennisha.james chapter 8 . 2/17
Oh yea! That's the stuff! I love me some neko ichi.
| ArtAnime4Life chapter 8 . 2/11
I liked it :)
| briar black death rose chapter 8 . 2/9
Nice. ichi ya li'l perv but it worked _
| scheun2100 chapter 8 . 2/9
Thanks for the update. It was really good.
| victoria.dorsey.376 chapter 8 . 2/8
Oh my god ur such a tease lol please continue luv it
| GrimmIchisgrl chapter 8 . 2/8
very good...loved it :)
| ZyiareHellsing chapter 8 . 2/8
Thanks for the awesome update! ! Ah got my fix for the day. So cute.
| ZyiareHellsing chapter 7 . 2/4
Love this story and can't wait for more! !
| briar black death rose chapter 7 . 1/26
That's a cute chapter
| scheun2100 chapter 5 . 8/3/2014
Love this story so far!
| Plotjunkie chapter 5 . 6/20/2014
| GrimmIchisgrl chapter 5 . 4/12/2014
it may have been short, but it was a good chapter! Can't wait til your next update
| LoneWolfsRage chapter 5 . 4/11/2014
| SoulMore chapter 4 . 10/10/2013
| sleep-silent chapter 1 . 10/5/2013
Hello. First of all, thank you for this. It was interesting to say the least and I look forward to reading further. You actually inspired me.
Remember that when you construct a summary it's the main factor that's going to draw readers in. You should always try your best at this. You want people to read your work, correct? Run through it with a spell checker. Make it exciting, engaging, delicious. This is almost, if not just as important, as your story it's self.
Make sure you review any work before posting it. I've noticed lots of grammar issues. Read it to your self out loud (unless there are inappropriate parts you don't want others to eavesdrop on of course, whatever) I've found that reading it out loud really helps reveal mistakes.
You could even invest time with a beta. You are the alpha reader, the first person who reads your story. Your beta should be the second.
Also, always keep in mind your audience. I know you have prepared a warning in which tells us that there will be OOC situations. If you are writing OOC (which you are) then you should explain why. Like why is Grimmjow a model? I never imagined the impure, merciless king would invest his time in modeling and snuggling kittens. People often click certain stories with said character in mind (let's think about Grimmjow) . They want to hear about him, which includes his personality. So people may be turned off by his gentleness with Ichigo. So again, you should explain why he is portrayed this way.
Keep in mind that this is an alternate universe. I actually had no idea. By providing that this is an AU, you're letting the readers know that you have provided a new set.
Lastly, I want to talk about the dialogue. It must be clear; meaning, we must know who is saying what. I was thrown off in this chapter because the paragraphs weren't separated according to the dialogue. It's good to always start a new paragraph after each set of dialogue. Don't put two characters' dialogue in one paragraph, then it's too hard to know who is saying what.
Again, thank you for sharing this work with us. If you think I'm being too brash and have a mind set of "This is fanfiction, I can do what I want!" Then by all means, delete my review. I want to help you keep an open mind and constructively criticize; by only hearing praise, readers won't have any means of improving.