|Reviews for Mass Effect: New Life|
| jabbarulez chapter 6 . 6/27/2014
nice! I wonder what revan will do if/when he see javik again?
| A-BOMBLIKEABOSS chapter 5 . 11/30/2013
Have Revan romance Miranda during ME2. Also, have him say something like "I pick option 3: You die and I walk away."
| In caverns dark chapter 5 . 10/21/2013
Does Revan remember his past or look any different from a stock human? I must have missed it.
| Guest chapter 5 . 10/15/2013
Hope he fucks them up
| revan193 chapter 4 . 10/8/2013
The chapter was very good, I especialy liked the fact that the Alliance actually did something concerning the Reaper's threat, even if it's not enough. I just hope that the other Citadel species will follow the same example...
| Jeremy Pine chapter 1 . 4/28/2013
This isn't that bad. Not the absolute best, but it could be a lot worse. Your grammar needs to be fixed a bit, but it's not absolutely horrible. One thing I noticed is that you need to use commas and such a bit better. For example, in the first sentence, you should have used a comma in between "nerd" and "but". Another example of this is "OK, am I seriously dreaming or wtf is going on.", where you should have put a comma before the "or". Also, you should avoid internet speak such as "wtf". Using seriously doesn't fit the rest of that sentence also. It would have worked better if you had said "Ok, am I dreaming? What the fuck is going on?". Another thing is that you seem to favor using periods. It helps if you read dialogue aloud to know if you should use a question mark if it's unclear. You also are capitalizing proper nouns inconsistently, such as when you capitalize "Protheans" in one sentence, and don't capitalize "prothean" in another. Another example is when you don't capitalize "Mass Effect" near the beginning. There are a few other things, but I can't remember the proper names for them right now, and I really don't want to right an agonizingly long review. I'll try to point out stuff in the future when I remember their proper names. On the subject of the story itself, the whole "Protheans sent me to Mass Effect" thing is a little cliche, but at least it's not the overused "I'm playing ME and this thunderstorm comes and lightning hits my Xbox and it gets all magical and it zaps me to the ME universe!" And yes, I did mean to make that a run-on sentence, because that is how fast paced those kinds of stories usually are. On the whole, however, I liked this chapter, and will look forward to reading the next one. I will continue to point out some of your errors, and help as much as I can.
Until next time!
P.S. If you want me to help more with this fic, just send me a PM. However, I am still in school, so I might not be able to edit as fast as you would like sometimes, and I am away from a computer a lot of weekends, although I will probably be able to edit chapters from my phone.