|Reviews for the rose withers|
| Angel Rebelde18 chapter 2 . 7/11/2014
Hi, Yazzi. Your Fanfic is so cool and very sad, sorry for gramathic, I dont speak English.
Me gustó mucho, estuve buscando las palabras que no entendía, pero valió la pena.
| InFamous TWiST chapter 2 . 4/30/2013
Whoa! Keep going! Just make sure you put dialog. Please make the sequel soon!
| DannySamLover20 chapter 2 . 4/30/2013
awwww! nice job!
| ShadowDragon357 chapter 1 . 4/29/2013
Seems like you have a good story going, but I'd highly recommend that you get a BETA or an editor to look over your work. It would help you as well.
For example, when you wrote:
It's been one year since the accident, I can not yet overcome, it still hurts his departure, the knowledge that will no longer be with me.
I remember that day like it happened this morning, full of so much pain, suffering and sadness all united to end my being.
That day I lost the most precious thing in my life, hold on to it was the only thing that made sense, he gave me hope to keep going no matter how many problems I had with my parents, he had enough strength to get up if you fall, it was the more magnificent and beautiful than I could have passed. But as you say everything is in order and indeed this ending was not happy.
What it should be is:
It's been a year since that day, and I still haven't gotten over it. His death still hurts me and so does knowing that he'll never be with me again.
I remember that day as if it happened this morning, so much pain, suffering, and sadness all combined to end my being.
That day I lost the most precious thing in my life, holding onto it was the only thing that made sense. He gave me hope to keep going no matter how many problems I had with my parents. He had enough strength to get back up if he failed; It was more beautiful and magnificent than anything I could have done. But as you say everything is in order and indeed, this ending is not happy.
Over all, your english is actually quite good, proper spelling and all that, but when people talk you have to use these: "".
So it would be:
"This is not the real surprise." Danny said, with a smile. This confused Sam.
"Sam, you're the most wonderful woman in the world. You don't know how glad I am to have met you. You are the joy that has filled my days no matter how sad I was, the person who left a large impression in my heart. The person that every time I kiss you, I feel the same emotions as when we kissed the first time. The person who was my best friend and supported me in everything. The girl I fell in love with, the woman I love most in the world..."
| DannySamLover20 chapter 1 . 4/29/2013
awww! keep going!