|Reviews for Sakura and the Whirlwind of Discovery|
| Fi Suki Saki chapter 14 . 5/28
Just so you know, this is the first fic where I ever really dislike Professor Flitwick on 3/4 part of the story, and 1/4 part near the end makes me realise he's just a normal human- err, dawrf, wait- elf... uhh, a normal goblin (don't tell me this is wrong too?!) who can feel frustration with something that unusual rather than tradition or normal thing that happens around.
But I Really Really LOVE how you made Professor Snape is a Good Professor in Sakura and Syaoran's eyes without make him OOC. God, I Love it !
And I did wanted to kill Lockhart when he erased Sakura's memories of the Card and Clow magic. Damn!
Anyway, I really Love and enjoy this fic and the prequel one.
| James Birdsong chapter 14 . 5/22
| Hillyan chapter 14 . 3/10
OK, I have to say that I really enjoyed this story and it's first part though I'll have to admit that I found the pacing to be off but that's probably because I usually don't read 'slice-of-life'-ish stories.
I think the characters have all been handled carefully enough when it comes to the CCS & HP characters and I liked the original characters well enough though I did have trouble remembering their appearance but, again, that's common for me.
I think the amnesia POV was handled really well as well as the basilisk attack even if it was quite the mood whiplash and quite the shock.
I also really like the magical theory you presented, vague but solid enough to sound legit.
However, I do have to point out a few points that stood out to me, besides the occasional spelling errors which were more noticeable this time though not enough to be too distracting.
1.) The cleaning of the board.
I may not be too good with remembering characters but for Anthony it was a bit too obvious with the repeated references to him that he'd pretty much had vanished from the story without a send-off or anything.
With Gloria it's more understandable since her personality stood out the most, probably too much to have been ignored in the books, but her getting transferred just seems a tad much to me though as I've said that it is understandable with the danger throughout the year.
Perhaps it's best too say that it was maybe a little too sudden without much explaining though overprotective/-reacting parents is a thing.
And as I've said before I'm not too good with remembering characters but I'd all but forgotten Deborah until she got her last minute mention.
Again, I can't fully remember her from the first story but a bit more mention would have been nice.
2.) How did Lockhart know?
As good as I found the amnesia section I think an opportunity was wasted here with Lockhart not trying anything with the cards.
Also, I might have overlooked any hints to it but Lockhart attacking Sakura was kind of out of nowhere and unprovoked unless it was all about the avoided basilisk attack and his denied glory.
And if it wasn't because of that but specifically the cards then I still have no idea how he could have learned about them in the first place.
Even with the mentioned above I still really enjoyed this little series.
It got me anxious as I neared the end as I often do with stories I really like and I thought the final round through Hogwards was just beautiful.
If it ends here I'm fine with that but if it does continue I'll look forward to it in anticipation.
- Eldard 'Hillyan' Koorn
| Goeno chapter 14 . 12/8/2014
It was pointless because no changes, but still fun.
| SonicAnime2010 chapter 2 . 12/3/2014
The canon fascination that Lockhart had in young Harry actually bordered Shotacon in my mind. That flamboyant attitude, overly shamelessly attempts of flirting.. might as well add lolicon... or just creepy casanova pervert
| Reviewer of the West chapter 14 . 10/2/2014
The ending seems a bit random and abrupt, and not like some struggle was overcome and a story arc closed.
| AsahinaTora chapter 14 . 6/26/2014
I will say this was a interesting read. Both story's give a nice feeling of how life would be at Hogwarts without suffering the misadventures of Harry and gang.
It was nice that the time lines didn't mix much, but a little disappointing, I really thought for a second that they would have killed the basilisk and there would be another ending for the diary and not the same thing.
Reading the point's award from the other side of the receiving ending really leave's a bad taste.
If there is another story I will be back to ready, thanks for writing this. Going to the seven-colored puppeteer now.
| Sazq chapter 14 . 6/10/2014
Well, I just finished reading your 2 part series, and I have to say, it's been a pleasure! And if you do decide to write a sequel, I will be right here to read it, every step of the way!
That being said, I felt that your story ended very well, and you highlighted a critical flaw within the wizarding world, just how trivial some (a lot) of the spells and education systems are, with very little being practical in anyway. This is something that many authors fail to address, and I'm glad to see it done here.
Anyways, good story! And if there is a third, I can't wait!
| dongaro chapter 14 . 6/10/2014
Very interesting 2 stories. I must say they were extreamly well written and had excellent characterization. THEy avoided the standard tropes of many crossovers and as such were quite refreshing.
Favorite portion was Syaoran's interactions with other houses and dealing with the dislike most houses have for that one. Lana's new bacl story was most intriguing since in the book there's very little revealed about her first year. Fleshing it out was most interesting.
Personally I'm kind of glad it ended hear since a 3rd year of sakura not interacting with Harry would have been detrimental to the story. One person put it as a crossover is a chance to showcase characters from both equal asweomness. And while seeing hogarts through sakuras eyes and her own unrelated story to Harrys (in particular how central her story is to her) was interesting and enjoyable too much of it and it would have gotten boring. As such the ending here is nice. It's a nice what if this happened during this interlude (since at the end of it everything meshes up and there's no contirdictions in the cannon that it couldn't have happened this way).
As for future continuation (I know you said maybe, but one can be hopeful) I hope you either drive off of the railroad of cannon (allowing butterfly effect to change the plot) or that the story take splace after deathly hallows (since this would take the most advantage of the work you've put into making this story cannon compliante).
Ragardess of any possible future continuation I must say I rather like this story it's enjoyable, the characters are in character, the plot flows smoothly (so many stories get bogged down showing what happens every day), and things are never dull or expected. I look forward to reading more of your work in the futre (I'm rather likeing the Naruto one too right now, and I suspect I'll enjoy most of what you write).
| The Halfa Wannabe chapter 13 . 5/22/2014
Dear lord, dear lord. Many stories show his obliviation in an even MORE sinister light than it already was. When Sakura's clothes were messed up I thought of far more horrid things than the theft of the Cards.
| Lisa Telramor chapter 14 . 5/10/2014
Thank you for writing this! I like how we get Sakura interacting with the Harry Potter world without actually changing events or stretching anything beyond belief. I also like how you've integrated difficulties between western and eastern magic. Well done, and if you write any more in this universe, I will be reading it too. _
| Key and WolfStar-SCA chapter 14 . 4/12/2014
Sorry for the late review, school being what it is I didn't have the time during the semester to indulge in extra-caricular readings. Anyway, I'd like to say that I found this really interesting, as I did the previous story, and while segestions are being made, I'd like to make a few of my own:
1) Sakura seemed to come to the conclusion of leaving very quickly with it being very finite. While I understand perfectly that she is concerned about her cards, I think it would be more in character for her to ho-hum about it a bit more. Like... a conversation or something with Syaoran where she mulls over the idea. To Sakura, her interpersonal relationships are very important, the idea of saying goodbye and never seeing them again would be a very big deal. Recall, her biggest fear would be for everyone to forget their loved ones and the feeling of love.
So, something where her and Syaoran and maybe Kero have a heart to heart and discuss things like good couples do. Maybe she's had it on her mind since her memory of her cards returned and it's been a few days and Syaoran notices that she's got something that's bothering her. Or maybe she just starts the conversation on her own. They mull over the situation as a couple and talk about all the pros and cons such as the nasty attitude of people towards Syaoran for being a Slytherin. The fact that Gloria is also leaving so Sakura would have to say goodbye to her anyway, but then what would that leave their other friends feeling if they had to say goodbye to three of them instead of one. The Whirlwind of Prophacy that Kaho alluded to. The lack of progress they're making because they're being constricted by the European schooling system.
The safety of the cards and the safety of each other would definately be prime topics, after all what would have happened to Sakura if Syaoran hadn't been right there against the basilisk, or if he hadn't had the skill to use Time now that it was no longer his card. Also old friends and family that they miss from back home would be brought up, as should Yue because he doesn't get enough mention in these stories despite being one of Sakura's guardians.
2) While Tomoyo is very important in Sakura's life, she is not the only one. Do not forget her other three freinds, Rika, Chiharu, and Naoko. Not to mention Touya and Fujitaka. Even Meiling corosponds with Sakura and them in cannon, and she would definately send letters to Syaoran. Even if all you do is bring them up in passing ("Sakura grabbed her books and the letter she got from her father before hurrying to join Lisa on the way to class"; "It was during the second week that Tomoyo's reply came, expressing her hopes that Syaoran get better soon") it would let people know that they are still important to her and haven't been forgotten in favour of her new friends.
3) If you do decide to perminently abandon this series, it would be nice to have an epilogue of sorts to fill in all those loose ends. Things like where Eriol had been, how did Lockheart manage to stop Kero and the others from finding the cards for so long when they can sense their presences, does Gloria end up happy in her new school, and so forth. Just answers to fill the plot holes for your audience.
Other than that, for my personal interpretation, I both want to see Sakura come back in 3rd year and I don't. While I really enjoy the story a lot, like you said this makes a very neat and tidy break-off point, unlike the ending of the first story. I would love to see more of the characters, and earlier chapters was very much the feeling of "they'll be back next year", but this chapter leaves more of the impression of "they'll be back in a few years".
Like... rather than return for the third book, they return once they've taken their magic as far as they can on their own again. At the moment it sort of feels like Hogwarts is holding them back, but they won't always be held back by it because there are more advanced things to learn in later years. And while books and natural tallent can take a person far, they are no substitute for real live instruction.
So as much as I'd love to see how you do book 3, I got to say books 5-7 and maybe even post-7 would be more accurate for their continued education. I say book 5 because it's the point where the students seem to have advanced far enough that the things they learned in the first two years have been left in the dust, they're on to a whole different set of spells to practice and master. Book 6 would be really easy to add them to as there isn't much in the way of plot for that book, but it would be dificult to introduce them in when Sakura never took her OWLs, lest you want to have her sit the tests seperately over the summer. Likewise, book 7 would be a sinch to have her and Syaoran involved in, but at the same time I don't really think they'd stick around for the abuse going on in the school, especially not when they have an alternative.
"Book 8" would be the "after the prophecy is complete" that Eriol was talking about, and it would be Syaoran's 7th year. Sakura could come perhaps as a teaching assistant to Eriol, like a student teacher or what have you, or you could say that since the last 7th year was such a desaster, the school decided to open itself up for the year so that anyone who wanted to retake their 7th year properly could be allowed to.
But yeah, that's just MY interpretation of how the situation should go, and if you have an idea that would make books 3 and onwards flow nicely then by all means go for it. But it's getting late here and I really should be calling it a night. So until you decide on whatever you decide to do,
Shade and Sweet Water
| pregar chapter 14 . 4/5/2014
Great story. Very heart-warming. And the ending was simply perfect.
This could be the end but I could imagine some kind of sequel. Plans change and so do people. I'd like to see Sakura growing up. I could imagine her becoming slightly more rebellious towards authority figures after her experiences with Lockhart. And I don't think she would be satisfied much longer with just holding Syaoran's hand.
Anyway, good ending but sequel (which wouldn't even need to happen in Hogwarts) would make me very happy.
| renakawaiichan chapter 14 . 4/1/2014
This story was just a treat to read. I am a little sad that you don't what to continue and change canon too much, but i think I might have an idea so that you can continue writing but not change the story. Instead of having Sakura returning to Hogwarts, you can have her keep in contact with Luna, or maybe even Prof. Snape or Dumbledore through letters, that way she will know whats going on with everything at the school, but still be able to continue her normal life in Japan with all of her friends. I hope you consider it, I would hate for this story to just end here.
| Bookeater-otaku chapter 14 . 2/23/2014
Glad to have seen this project come to completion. It had its good points and its bad point but it was a whorty sequel to the first one. I say : Good jod.
I still think that there is a lot more stories that could happen at Hogward with the rest of the HP books especialy the later ones since you are tying up both universe to canon. But in the inbetween you could do a couple of one-shot where we could see Sakura back in Japan or visting Syaoran in Hong Kong. It would be interesting to see how you would tie up Sakura wants to learn and developpe magic along her normal school. When Syaoran come, she can obviously get some help that way but it could be more interesting to see Eriol give them some coaching (via mail or in person). But I see him sending them on a small quest to stop some trouble in the ming that experience is the best teacher. It would be more of his style too.
But one of the thing I would have liked in this story would have been more tie-in with Clow past at Hogward. Some secret left behing to uncover or some books on his theory to decifer or... something. The best I could come up wiht would be a proto-card or a proto-guardian, a precursor to Kero and Yue that he didnot had the knowledge to finish it yet and for some reason was hidden in Hogward. Since Kero is the sun and Yue the moon, Sakura could convert the new Gardian after much struggle into the gardian affected to her start power. Just a though.
And the definit lack of Yue appearance in this fic was a minus.
As for this chapter, the reminissing was great but sad for us reader who wanted to see more. The bit with Eriol was realy interesting and I would definetly love to see Eriol as a teacher for Hogward with is out-of-the-box thinking that would shock the student. Send them to another dimension to give them new perspective or a classic: trap them in a book rather than have them read it. He would be a GREAT teacher (students opinion wistanding). Maybe it could be you next story. It happen after the HP books so you dont have to worry about canon and you get to have fun torturing..euh, exploring Hogward and its students more.
But the bit about Eriol with is sword and the mention of a school completly lost me. I dont get the reference. Maybe some more info or clue would be appreciated. And what about the bit with the ring? I know it was a plot device to make Eriol disapear out of the picture but some more detail would have been fun to have. Maybe a hint droped here and there along the story or mention of it at the end. Was it something that had to to with the sword? If it was, it should have been mentioned.
Kaho interaction with Eriol was spot on. But I wonder what it was she was cross about wiht Flitwick. I am not sure if its a good idea for and author to drop bits that come out of nowhere that had little to the plot (especialy at the end). Was it an attempt to fleshout the character? If that the case it should have needed some more hints and small scene along the story for it to make sense or have an impact when placed at the end like that.
You should make more action scene in your fics, you are good at them as you are good to set them up.
Well anyway, good luck on your next project. Give us some teaser so we can expect something!