|Reviews for After Ever After|
| ProtagonistAlert chapter 1 . 11/21/2015
Honestly, sometimes I'm torn on Haruka as a character, but you really nail her here. You manage to really get into her head and explore how she would feel in your interpretation, but at the same time not betray the fact that Haruka tends to act first and think about things later. And then it brilliantly culminates at the end when she does act without worrying about overthinking things, but it's the right choice. (Also wow, a Japanese woman actually getting counseling? Bravo, Haruka!)
You also really make me feel for her. This sort of confusion is something that I can't directly relate to per se- I came to terms with my bisexuality relatively quickly, but it is something I can understand and empathize with, and you do it in such an effective way that I still can empathize with Haruka on that score.
You really approach Shizuru in an interesting way as well. Really putting emphasis on the fact that she would desire repentance after the events of the carnival, while doing it in a way that is most effective given her character. And you do it in a way that manages to really sell her desire to repent- you genuinely believe that she's worry for everything she did, to an extent.
The repartee between Shizuru and Haruka is always entertaining and you really capture it in this piece. I don't feel like the tics were ever particularly disruptive to conversation flow and worked quite well.
As far as technical stuff goes, it's really solid work. The pacing is fluid and never feels forced in the slightest, and the spelling and grammar are all splendid. Simply astounding work.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2014
Sequel to this story of urs pls. I mean. .. A kind of shinat story. Tnx...
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
| Moczo chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
Awwwwww. It won't do to have Haruka all depressed. She is at her best when headbutting life in the throat! At least Shizuru got her on the path back to there.
Next story: Haruka researches lesbian sex and puts Yukino in the hospital through a tragic misunderstanding of what 'scissoring' means in this context, leading her to seek revenge on the internet.
You owe me.
| Anon chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
Very awesome. I really like how you wrote the both of them. Haruka not being in anyway introspective by nature and blaming Shizuru for it? Perfect. The tone of this piece was just great, character pieces are my favorite.
| Breadsticks chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
Yay something different! I don't think that the characters were acting weird, but I was somewhat surprised that shizuru had talked to someone about her problems, but oh well - it's time for her to open up to others. Bottling everything would make another crazy overly stressed out kaichou. It's cool to see someone elses POV after the carnival that isn't shizuru or natsuki. Personally I think this story would stand from others by slowly developing the shiznat relationship (if u plan on doing one) from the sidelines and keep the focus on Haruka and her developing friendship with shizuru.
| DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
And a formal welcome to the "writing stuff" side of the fandom, Beam! Personally, I think you pegged Haruka pretty well perfectly (Intelligence 17; Wisdom 5...but I digress) for the "Armored Closet Gay" version of her, while acknowledging the things she said and did in Ep. 23 (and when you get right down to it, you pretty much have to acknowledge them or else derail her, because Haruka Suzushiro does not do things that she does not believe in...at least in the moment that she's doing them). (Also, acknowledging Shizuru's need to make reparations between the end of the Festival and graduation, without having to go into that too much because it's not her story.) You do a really good Haruka, is what I'm getting at. I think her fans will be happy that she's your favorite character, in the hopes that we'll see more of her from you!
Honestly, I think my favorite part of the story was how you began with how Haruka prefers to act rather than spend time thinking things over and over, then wrestles with that thinking, then at the end again chooses to act on her feelings right away without thinking and it's clearly the right choice. Almost as if you're pointing out that just because Haruka may be changing that it doesn't mean that she's not Haruka (come to think of it, that's a lesson she needs to absorb, herself, and it would tell the angst to sit down and shut up).
There were many great lines throughout ("Suzushiro-san would really like to be left alone"; "she was completely and utterly convinced that Fujino Shizuru and Kanzaki Reito had been born onto this world specifically to drive her insane"; "'So since I did those things, it's my fault you're thinking about them?'" spring to mind). But you know, it also strikes me that it's kind of a work of genius to point out that a conflicted young woman struggling with her sexuality would likely seek counseling if it was available. That might have been the best part of the story. Solid, sensible real-world solutions for the win!