|Reviews for Origins|
| Starart132 chapter 3 . 5/1/2013
I do not think Iflar will accept him. It's not in his personality.
| Starart132 chapter 2 . 5/1/2013
It is better and more easily understandable. I wonder if we would know what happen to the other character later.
| Starart132 chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
It's an interesting start. It's not bad but here's a few tips...Which I don't always follow.
I suggest that you make the story evolve a little slower. It moves a little too fast but not as
much as other stories.
My other tip is to put each's people talking in different line when you change character when they talk. It's easier to understand who's walking. The rest is good and interesting.