|Reviews for Déjà vu no Jutsu|
| Beyogi chapter 25 . 10/4
Wow... this was a great story.
Though I do have some thoughts on it. I'm honestly not convinced any daymyo with half a brain would allow the ninja villages to be hired for assassinations by his nobles or even random merchants. In a sane world you'd expect assassinations to require authorisation by either Daymyo, Hokage or the Daimyo's spy-advisor. Just to avoid crap like Danzou pulled and to avoid destabilising the system because you murdered someone who had relations that weren't considered.
Dear God, Natsumi's kill count. I mean holy fuck, 500 assassinations by a single agent. That's insane. I'd be surprised if the US has that many in a year - ignoring colaterall of drone strikes. It felt like you wanted to make Anbu extra horrible and went a bit over the top.
Otherwise I didn't like the pacing of the last 2/3rds of the story much. It felt too drawn out. Especially the last chapters went on like forever with not very much happening considering the words written. You might want to skip some stuff or just "tell" the reader.
The weaboo was strong with this one. Less graticious Japanese would probably be better here. Though it wasn't a problem, just a style thing I didn't like much :)
I also kinda would have liked to see the protagonist go further than alliance building and do some state building to fix the fucked up situation. I mean that would have made a lot of her shit forgiveable, but in the end I had to agree with her soldier self. She was ultimately a glorified murderer. She could have been more, but never really tried. Sad imho.
Okay, now getting to the stuff you did great. You blew away the stations of canon. Some just didn't happen at all, butterflied away, others got altered even in their origin. And you weren't shy to kill off characters to progress your story, without killing off your characters for killing off your characters sake.
You actually managed to write a pre-canon story/SI that didn't suck after a few chapters. I think this is the first and only that I've seen so far. It's actually pretty damn awesome.
You didn't shy away from showing the ugly side of being a ninja, even if I feel you went to far.
You didn't solve problems with superior firepower but with subtlety.
Not sure how I feel about the Kurama clan. On one hand they managed to catch your SI with their pants down. On the other it felt a bit forced. You handed them a major idiot-ball.
Overall a great story that I can defintely recommend. Thank you for writing,
| medved847 chapter 25 . 10/2
believable story and world.
MC is not a powerhouse with ready solution to every problem.
MC actions affect more than just an object she touch.
- There is no worthy antagonist. every one of them dies in the same chapter they introduced. Orochimaru and Danzo are better than that. Kurama clan arc is just hurts to read.
- Death of Sakumo. It feels like author thought "oh shit, war is over and i forgot to kill some of the characters. Oh well, sakumo gets overrun by root. Dont ask me why"
- Floating power level. one day she can fight orochimaru to a standstill, the other she gets impeiled by a noname.
| Ixde chapter 25 . 9/24
I read this three times, and every time i promised myself i'd leave a review, and every time i end up not being able to...well, no time like the present.
First of all: thank you for sharing this. Your story is among my top three favourites on this site at the very least, and definitely one ofthe best written ones. I was left a bit disappointed by the ending, to be honest, pretty much everything from the Narutoìs birth onward felt a little bit rushed for my tastes and the whole Kurama clan arc in particular, while a very nice way to top everything off and close all possible loose ends, just didn't seem up to par with the rest of your work.
On the other end, there's pretty much nothing else i did not like. Loved the way you approached the early years, with actual explanations for the declining of the academy system and the "filling up the canon plotholes" thing you pulled off. Especially liked how Natsumi basically stumbled into problems she had either no recollection of/was determined to avoid, and then solved them by...essentially being a decent person? Seriously, half of the canon problems seem to have been born out of geniune assholery rather than actual reasons...
Anyways. Was reading through Russian Roulette earlier, and stumbled on an author's note (I usually just skim through them when reading past chapters, since most of the time they end up being outdated anyways) and saw something about people leaving condescending and just plain rude reviews for the last part of this fic, and it left me baffled enough i had to check if i hadn't misread something. Unfortunately, seems to have a readerbase full in great part of rude kids and/or plain outright assholes, with the other side filled with way to sensible people that accept no critic and classify every negative arguement as "flame", creating a vicious circle that actually seems to get worse with every year.
That said, i guess i just wanted to drop a " hang in there, you're doing great" line, just to make sure you knew there's plenty of people who read and appreciated your work (particularly loving the Pawprints episodes, by the way). Thanks again for sharing, and good luck with everything.
| Sdarian chapter 25 . 9/19
This was a good read. I'm glad I found it. I'll have to check out your other stories.
| la.shayma16 chapter 25 . 9/14
We need more stories like this and writers like you.
Thank you this story...no matter how much sleep I lost reading it.
| Velzon chapter 25 . 9/13
First off I want to say I loved this story and am going to be reading your pawprints next to see what it is like.
I enjoyed the AU how things ended up and the way your SI/OC interacted with the world.
I do wish I had found this before (Only found out about the story when I found that fan art that showed Chibi Natsumi) But I loved so many parts about it I can't really decided what I liked best...
The way you depicted how Summons effect their summoners and how they in turn effect the summons
The story being about the older cast and not the regular Naruto characters
Even the fact about the Uzumaki clan being hunted down all of it was great ideas.
Thank you for the story and I hope to continue to enjoy future stories you may come up with.
Keep up the good work!
| Matthew chapter 14 . 9/12
i suppose she's going to become useless...
i know that you're scared of making her a Mary-sue, but there is a fine line between over-powered and keeping up with the herd.
i don't like the fact that she is becoming the weakest character present and it grates on me that she has all of this potential that you are just throwing away. she's amazing at Fuinjutsu, she used to have large Chakra reserves and she knows an awesome technique. the fact that she hasn't taken advantage of and improved her skills is honestly disappointing.
at this point her development has become so convoluted, hampered by injury and stagnant via lack of discovery it is hard to keep it believable. with the skills she has and her advantage of previous memories, the fact that she isn't S rank is too suspicious to be comfortable.
| GoingGone chapter 25 . 9/11
Hmm...some what Ironic that Natsumi turned out to be the perfect role Danzo played not too long ago.
| TheDML chapter 3 . 9/7
I'm horrible at writing, anything really, so I only want to say that I'm loving the story so far! Thank you for creating this story!
| Tirfarthuan chapter 25 . 9/6
Really loved this story. I've never seen an interpretation of ANBU that I liked better than this!
| Guest chapter 25 . 9/3
Just finished reading this story, took me about 2 weeks but finally finished. It was really a great story, i can tell how much effort and thought you put into writing it. There's very few problems i had with it. The only things that I think you should work on is your use of phrases such as, "the infiltrator, the shadow user, the fuuinjustu user, etc. Sometimes they're great to use to remind the reader what a certain person does or what they look like, but you used them so often though that it takes a person out of the story when they have to think of who you are talking about, and can make it hard for the reader to learn all the names when you don't use them that often.
I'd also had that you had a bit too many exposition dumps. I can see why you did them, they did help flesh out the world and make things make more sense, but they could be a bit tedious at times. I hope this review isn't coming out as being too harsh, i only bring these up bc i can see that your writing is near professional level, and with only some tweaking i could easily see you having published work.
| Delathen chapter 1 . 9/3
My oh my, an SI with over half a million words? This will be interesting!
I've only read two other such super-long SI fics. The first was "These Black Eyes", a 2.7 million word monstrosity that was one of the best things I had ever read to that point (I was a teenager... so sue me :( )
I've recently read Dreaming of Sunshine, up to its current point (chapter 98). That story has been incredible in a way that I've forgotten fanfiction can be.
And now, I'm reading yours! I've loved this first chapter. You've established your character, Fiona/Natsumi very well. She stands as an excellent viewpoint character (stuff gets explained to her), but she is NOT just a passive reader-replacement. She has her own character, and as the chapter goes on, becomes fiercer and more... alive I guess is the way to put it. I love it! I'm looking forward to more!
| Killing Threat chapter 7 . 8/28
I need to review before I forget, because this is one of the best SI I've read. So I was just finishing chapter two last night, and I thought I was on chapter 15 because of how fast, yet slow paced this was being written. I really love stories that are extremely long, and you got me hooked.
| 534667lc chapter 25 . 8/19
Love your story now following! . Please update soon!
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 8/11
For some reason, at the end of the fifth paragraph, I was super disappointed you said "across the pond" instead of "beyond the pond," and I think the only reason why is because it rhymes. I am a truly pathetic soul.