Reviews for Harry Tano
Guest chapter 23 . 8/18
tu te tromp lord des jedi a plus de 30 000 ans
bakun.alex93 chapter 12 . 8/11
What an utter bullshit!
Elymes chapter 57 . 8/2
wonderfull story, and nice twist whit the decklearation of Demon.
fraewyn chapter 57 . 7/21
Loved it!
Runecutter chapter 57 . 6/25
Don't you mean Lucas?

Well it was a great story with a few obvious shortcomings. One of which is the constant struggle to write anything Potter related correctly ;) And another is the weird fluctuations in pacing, most parts show a bit too much advance/success to be quite believable and towards the end/epilogues then it jumps around without even trying to show what amount of time has passed, which was a bit frustrating. Giving dates for the chapters is not that hard and would have improved the understandability of the story vastly. Reminds me too of the footnote where you mentioned Palpatine would be a confirmation of 1992 being 10 BBY, but it was a very hazy conclusion based on the official building start for the DS1 Deathstar (seems one of the new Disneywars companionbooks gives this as the name of the station and DS2 for the ROTJ version).
I STILL have no idea, how we got from 1992/Chamber of Secrets to "George Bush" being president, who was inaugurated in 2001. Nothing in the narration hints at Harry turning 20 before the final fight or that something like 7 or 8 years had passed between Stonehenge and that speech. (Now that i mentioned Dubyah, why do they shut down NATO and not just turn it into "UETO" United Earth Treaty Org with all peaceful nations joining a pact to defend humanity as a whole and the colonies that speech talks about?)

In general the attempts to fuse the three different "technologies" were well described, you could have gone a bit farther with most and invested a lot more time into the difficulty to make such stuff work on the new ideas that were Magitech and with the limited ressources of earth industry, but well, that's a pretty Hard Scifi approahc and SW is anything but "hard" Science, so it may be understandable. A bit regretably that after a strong start with lots of character development after Ahsoka came into the open, it changed mostly to give the technology the starring role and neglected the persons. We know almost nothing about the various groups gaining importance after the shift to the USA / Moon which makes feeling sad about Abraham and Nicola losing their lives in the battle of Stonehenge rather hard.

Ironically what TV Tropes compared the Dumbledore thing to was the last moments of the EXECUTOR in RotJ, while as you've written it it was clearly far closer to the cropduster in Independece Day, which came as a bit of a surprise. ;) in any way, the scene was very moving, especially meeting Ariana. Could have done myself without the followup with McGonagall, but well... better having that included than losing the whole scene with the good parts before it.

Things the Epilogues forgot to mention... more specialised groups that came from the Magitech advancement like Research departments (Who can't see Hermione and Luna as mad scientists driving each other mad over their different approaches?), a Scouting / Interstellar Mapping Corps to find out more about the Neighborhood of the Solar System and some sort of spiritual philosophers trying to find out more about Force and/or magic... maybe even how to change the environment so that more mage users don't lose the Force ability before they can train.

As for "Elliot"... am i a horrible person for saying while i know about the ET presence in the Senate Scenes of Phantom Menace, I'd have preferred if the Alien Ship came from Melmac? :D
Runecutter chapter 50 . 6/25
Did you put Draco in Leatherpants? Yes, you did *long suffering sigh*

I think up to now you always spelled Stupefy correctly, it doesn't turn you stupid, it puts you into a stupor...
Runecutter chapter 49 . 6/25
It's "to whom" not "to who".
The Art is Occlumancy (because of other arts of the mind like necromancy), but the pracitioners are Occlumens (from latin for "occlude your mind").
Runecutter chapter 47 . 6/24
Separatist comes from "separate". One e two as.

and at least once you flipped the ie in retrieved.

Well Assajj being on Earth without being aggressive or trying to start a fight is a good surprise, you may have gone a bit overboard with how much stuff she brought data about, may have been better to equip her ship with Magitech (like the Stealth shield) and use it as shopping cart to get more SW style tech, including the necessary ressources for building their own hyperdrives, hypercoms etc or maybe a starter pack of tibanna gas too? There have to be things Earth can make that are tradeable in the known half of the galaxy... Once they have a small fleet they can start prospecting the nearer systems around Earth and try to set up a mine for what is not available in our system... Takes more time, is a slight risk for discovery, but it would be a more solid and plausible setup than just "beginning to make Star Destroyers on conveyor belt style lines"!
Runecutter chapter 46 . 6/24
Awww... couldn't you find a SW Term that is closer to Houston? ;) Bogan (which stands for the Dark Side, but is a Moon [of the Planet Tython, one of the homes of the Jedi Order in ancient times] so it would be fitting for a plane on Earth's satellite "Luna" and Sirius Black as "official" owner of the Wolftech Station) could fit or Holocron...
Runecutter chapter 43 . 6/24
I may be biased for the way nicer/cooler look, but i'd prefer if they'd use Etas as the smaller size seems to better fit Magitech capabilities and the Ring can not just be used for additional power, engines (even if not yet superluminal ones) but it too can be fitted with the Runedoor set to serve as escape pod with the wings being left behind and only the egg shaped cockpit being used to evacuate the pilot... 3 light seconds (just under 900,000 miles) should be plenty to reach a Carrier or the Moonbase as with Earthbased tech it's unlikely they'll go too fast and 24 hours at Escape velocity seems a pretty far patrol... if push comes to shove and they'll need to reach Jupiter or something and manage to go like 1/2 Lightspeed to do that travel, they'd have to plant escape stations/satellites on "the road home" putting only the two doors inside almost touching, so you can directly pass from one frame to the next like through a long corridor, while making millions of km/h during the sprint... The size/minimal energy consumption to hold station with Magitech should help hiding them form discovery.
Runecutter chapter 41 . 6/24

And you forgot one M in "Dubledore".

I'd also suggest that if you ever write a similar story to split the kids up instead of sticking them into the same house as that way you could both better integrate OCs and show the actual differences of the houses by casual display of them without much exposition.
Runecutter chapter 40 . 6/22
You missed a chance to put "Industrial Light and Magic" into your opening paragraph... definitely "edge of technology" what they did back then. A lot like Weta does now...

Regarding the "taste" of potions... my current headcanon is that almost any concoction could be made much less revolting if they would use ALL known magical substances and methods, but that pride and egotism has caused the british Wizards to prohibit most non british plants and other ingredients to guarantee "proper potions" are made only with british materials. In consequence they have to take the awful taste with the arrogance. punishing themselves instead of going for the best results... That would even be a great idea to bring up a bit of disagreement between Snape and Lily... Lily has no reservations whatsoever to just use whatever is best (including shamelessly using Slughorn's connections to get whatever seem promissing to experiment with) and gives the better results, Snape is too entrenched in british wizarding "tradition" and refuses to break the informal rules (or laws)... they would mostly still be in friendly competition, but Snape would frequently be peeved how easily Lily sometimes outbrews him by breaking the rules, making his hard work look dilletantish in comparison.
Runecutter chapter 39 . 6/22
Oh whow, that weapons demonstration was cringe. Rotary gun fetish? Shouldn't they first create an oversized "cannon" style blaster? especially as there is no explanation how much work/effort/energy is in creating "one load", wasting a few hundred on a single attack seems unwise with their current setup as factory and army...

Also not everything needs to be stylistically copied from the SW universe. Sure, Ahsoka's information about how it works set up a certain look, but they only need the "works" part down, then they can change the outside look to whatever they want. Hint hint: disguising it as Flash style implements or 1990s military equipment with a slight Flash inspired "flaire" would reduce the number of questions asked, as they always will get asked about "how the fuck did you make fantasy weapons/crafts make work"... but at least with the different look their work would have a cover story for that. And of course "wolfalorians" should heavily customise any troop carriers etc to be wolf themed ;)

As for the spell damage to the Longbottoms... i always wonder how hard St Mungos even tried. Wizards do not give off the "try everything until something sticks" vibe... if they couldn't miracle cure them in the first few months, they probably went straight to hospice care... as would fit with the description in the books, no treatments whatsoever were witnessed...
Runecutter chapter 33 . 6/22
Imperius (and ignoramus in the last chapter) are (pseudo)latin and thus do not have an o in the suffix.

Sure it's in the end a good twist, it just happens on the flimsiest of logic (the problematic "discovery" by Fudge, his total unjustified jumping to conclusions and the ultrafast response by the ministry... that is classical plotdrive, but not what could have happened in the story without you needing it to happen) and succeeded with even higher speed. Also the timing is not the least bit ironical... it should have happend ON THE LAST DAY of Sirius "year and a day" scheme, not halfway through. ;)
Runecutter chapter 32 . 6/22
Veritas Serum Veritaserum Why do so many fanfictions have a problem with the spelling?

Oh no, this development is not good. Poorbloods that for once don't carry their heads mile high up their own butts... that is ... disturbing.
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