|Reviews for Pride Goes Before the Fall|
| Unlisshed chapter 31 . 1/10/2017
Noooo :,( too many feels in this chapter.
| Unlisshed chapter 20 . 1/10/2017
Awesome stuff! I love how you've stuck with the main story but have added your own twists here and there. I'm glad Liara got a little extra time with her mother, very touching.
| Unlisshed chapter 8 . 1/10/2017
I'm really enjoying this! Your writing style is very easy to read, you have a great talent with words. I love the growing bond that's happening with the crew and your Shep is very relatable.
| LuckyRogue15 chapter 23 . 6/22/2015
And this is where I check out. The story is really good and very well written. It's personal preference with archetypes that I have no personal interest in reading. Mainly because it's never been done well in any story I have ever read and I have no faith in the archetype any more. Now your story might be the one that gets it right, but again I have do not currently have the interest in reading to get to that point. But I hope that you continue writing and I wish you all the success.
| LuckyRogue15 chapter 9 . 6/21/2015
FINALLY! Some decent character development for Shepard. Geez I was wondering if her switch was forever stuck on being a bitch. I hope the progression of my comments/reviews are at least bringing you some entertainment in seeing someone's thoughts in progressing through your story. High comedy that.
| LuckyRogue15 chapter 8 . 6/21/2015
Alright me again. With another comment. Everything that Garrus said about Shepard was correct. Cold hard facts and truth. While everything Shepard said was true... about SHEPARD not so much Garrus. Seeing this situation from the eyes of the superior, the older races if you will, then you have a petulant child (aka Shepard and humans in this instance) running around breaking the law and then bitching at you for being self-righteous. Yeah that comment about your Shepard having nothing to connect to. That's still completely true for me. You haven't given her an excuse yet. Even though an excuse does not make any of her actions right, but it would help with at least being able to see how she could feel that way. Even if she's completely wrong and a bitch.
| LuckyRogue15 chapter 6 . 6/21/2015
see previous chapter's review. And add "I called it!" ALL BOW TO THE ALMIGHTY SHEPARD FOR HER ACTIONS ARE NEVER WRONG EVEN WHEN THEY REALLY REALLY ARE!
Kinda going to continue reading with a bit of contempt against you right now. Unless/until you fix this in the upcoming chapters. But right now The main problem is that I'm reading this and I cannot connect at all with your main character. And if I cannot connect with the main character then I have to ask myself, "Why am I reading this?" And right now the only reason is because I started reading your me2 story and then realized there was a story before it and jumped at the chance to have more to read. Right now I'm debating the merit of that decision.
Well I hope you do fix this soon because I think I'll just go crazy and rage quit a story for the first time.
| LuckyRogue15 chapter 5 . 6/21/2015
got to say the biggest problem that I have with your story right now is the fact that GARRUS IS A COP! Thus what Shepard did in the clinic is 1) assaulting an officer of the law 2) obstructing an investigation and if you want to get picky 3) discharging military firearms in a civilian area without authorization and permission. All things that will get you a one way ticket to lock up. Even if you are the holyier than now Commander Shepard. Even worse that your Shepard is xenophobic and racist against turians. It's in your summery. Because lets be adults here, "prejudice" is just someone who doesn't have the balls to call their actions what they are. Which is racist.
Now the first part is a problem more with the game itself than your story, because of common sense of the basics of the law as displayed above, but it should of been Shepard asking Garrus to be apart of his investigation. He is the law on the citadel. and Alliance soldier has no jurisdiction on the citadel. Now this can be overlooked in the game because you are the main character and everything must revolve around you. But in a story the excuse is pretty thin. Especially when you write the scene like you did in this chapter.
But all together that's the only complains I have so far. It's well written so far, but those points I made above are not quite as small as they may seem. This could be a big problem. Now I know that this is chapter 5 of 42 in a story that's already completed... But I'm going to say it anyways. If you progress forward with a friendship, let alone a romance with Garrus, then the elephant in the room needs to be addressed. Multiple times. And by Shepard apologizing. If you have a "prejudice" Shepard and then you have Garrus apologizing and "bowing" to the almighty Shepard rather than Shepard admitting her faults and confessing her sins, so to speak. Then there is a real problem here. Because "so far" in your story Shepard has been to one to commit offense and not Garrus so... that kinds should be addressed.
I am looking forward to reading the rest of your story but I needed to put this out there because this is a key point in your story so far. And I am wary of how you proceeded.
| Guest chapter 31 . 5/14/2015
Wrexham nooooo! Wrex always survives my run throughs... Not going to lie I hope Ashley gets it
| PrincessEspie chapter 42 . 9/26/2014
I absolutely wish there were an option to favorite this a thousand times over. Honestly. You are an amazing writer, able to tug at the heartstrings, crush them, then tug them again the in the period of a few minutes. Few possess your ability for writing, and I'm glad you put yours to such amazing use.
| taylorjohn.jero chapter 35 . 5/29/2014
| Barleyguy chapter 1 . 5/22/2014
Not much has happened yet so I'm reserving judgement, I am strongly against shenko so I didn't like the whole those eye bit but hey it says garrus fem shep, so I'll keep reading, curious how a racist Marion will eventually get with garrus. And as I always say at the end of a review. Keep updating eh
| ForgottenForest chapter 42 . 5/22/2014
Oh this series was absolutely amazing in everyway. The way the characters interacted, the humor, romance and danger blended together so fluidly with your writing skills. I loved every second of this story and it was one that I would think about for days as I awaited the next chapter. I am so excited for the next one and I just know it will be great. Awesome job! :D Can't wait to here from you again.
| Lady Velvet C. Peterson chapter 42 . 5/22/2014
I like the way this is going bringing cerberus in subtly before me2.
| dracohalo117 chapter 42 . 5/22/2014
I see, so there is not a complete lack of hope for Shepard and her son to have a relationship...Cleon could easily explain that the guy who kept them captive was a sadist who liked to do anything to break his captives, and he used Nate's love of Shepard to break him so to speak...just a thought...
Anyways, looking forward to the next chapter.