|Reviews for Riley's Choice|
| Dame Selena chapter 1 . 7/19
I was looking for OC goes into the Hunger Games story to see how much attention they got and stumbled onto yours. You described it in one sentence in chapter 27, “an ordinary, likeable guy, who uses his craft and social skills to get him to the finale” which is exactly what it is, Oakley’s a nice relatable guy and a recurring plot point was him making alliance after alliance.
The theme of your story appears to be choices, it’s a recurring word chapter after chapter and even the title is Riley’s choice but I feel it builds up but comes up short. Something you could have done was at the end have him realize that the Hunger Games is placing only the wrong choices in front of you, and forcing you to take them.
I think I read almost the entire fic, it was fairly well written and detailed, and all your OCs were believable characters with believable motivations, and congratulations that Oakley is not a Gary Stu. Your arena wasn’t anything spectacular, basically an outdoors forest, but the Catalina and the mutts and the swamp were unique features.
I appreciated the little anecdotes about his home life, like when he tried to tell that girl he thought her shoes were pretty, it was great world building and gave dimension to District 7.
You should read over your story, I found a number of small spelling mistakes like their instead if they’re or bear instead of bare etc you know the type.
My favourite part, the part that tells me that you really get it, is when he killed 12 year old Dock. Not a Career, not a direct threat attacking him so he could call it self defense, not really something that he can justify killing and be the glorious hero like Katniss who only killed the evil villainous Careers that she was “allowed” to kill. You let him be the villain here, and this is what the Games is about, killing innocent children, not taking down evil baddies and claiming the throne.
| thesummersparrow chapter 27 . 7/23/2014
I love this. I love Riley's choice. I love how you write. I even love Oakley and all of his mess. These last few chapters have felt like a whirlwind and I can't believe I'm almost done reading this, that Oakley's journey is coming to an end. It's crazy. You've done an absolutely amazing job and I hope the next chapter shows Oakley making the right choices.
| thesummersparrow chapter 19 . 7/23/2014
Holy criz-ap. Oakley just can't catch a break, can he? I'm a bit sad to see the alliance with Bell go, even though she was kind of dumb. I don't imagine she's going to help Oakley if she makes it out of the swamp.
| thesummersparrow chapter 15 . 7/22/2014
I love alliances. I can't wait to see how this one develops. :)
| thesummersparrow chapter 14 . 7/22/2014
Small details about Riley. It's like torture. Tsk, tsk. It's tough seeing Volt go too. I was hoping he'd pull it off and finish his vendetta on all the Careers, but I knew that was extremely unlikely. And the entire time the Careers were wandering past the thicket I totally kept waiting for a moment like in Lord of the Flies. So intense.
Also, I've been binge reading so sorry I didn't review the last couple chapters. It's hard when I absolutely need to know what's happening next. ;)
| thesummersparrow chapter 11 . 7/22/2014
I hope you know that I hate being patient, which means I might be up all night until I know what happened to Riley. I can't help but think she just sat there, which hurts, or that she killed herself, which is horrifying and hurts just as much.
My favorite thing in this chapter was definitely all the little tie-ins and reminders of home; it made everything more real and heartbreaking, especially if Oakley doesn't make it. I feel like it made a lot of strides in creating a connection between the reader and Oakley here and I love it. I'm rooting for him even more now. :)
| thesummersparrow chapter 10 . 7/22/2014
Sidenote: I really like the idea of the arenas becoming "historical sites" for citizens to visit. I've always wondered what happened to them. I thought they might be recycled, but I like your idea a lot.
I'm really excited to see what the arena will look like, especially with the little hints you've been dropping. Will the Arena be a swamp? Will it rain a ton?
I just love your writing too. It really makes Oakley come through as a character and makes things easy to visualize.
| thesummersparrow chapter 9 . 7/22/2014
Alright, first: I need to know what Riley's choice is. You're killing me here. Hopefully some insight next chapter? Pretty please? Second, I absolutely adore Gabby. I found her annoying at the beginning (like most Capitol people), but she's quickly grown on me over the last few chapters. Overall though, I feel absolutely awful for so many of these characters. You've captured a sadder, probably truer aspect of the Capitol- like Tigress in Mockingjay- and it's absolutely awful and wonderful to see.
Also, I've decided Vics are just terrible people.
| thesummersparrow chapter 8 . 7/22/2014
Wow... just wow. I forgot just how much loved this story. This is going to be short because I need to find out what Johanna is up to. :)
| Gamemaker97 chapter 28 . 5/23/2014
Well, this seemed a fitting (if short) end to Oakley's journey. After chapter 27, it's nice to see a more positive twist on things, a bittersweet ending if you like. He can cope, at least, and things might be on the up for him from here. It was good to bring Riley into the ending, too, considering the story was named after her. I think it says something about your ability to plan stories that you decided upon Riley's Choice as a title prior to publishing any of this. Even if it did take a little while to come together, it fits, and I like that it's something a little different.
You set up a good character set, a great action-packed arena and there were plenty of twists and turns along the way before a dramatic finale that could be seen as either a happy and sad ending. To give readers that freedom to choose what they make of it is a good decision, too. Myself? I'm somewhere down the middle on how I feel about this.
But, to conclude as you always say, I have read, have reviewed, and most importantly, I have enjoyed this fanfic. Good job on this one, I'll keep an eye out for anything new in the future! :)
| jacob1106 chapter 28 . 5/20/2014
I feel like this was a very fitting ending for Oakley and over all the story. I'm very impressed over all and this story was to say the least amazing :)
| Guest chapter 25 . 5/16/2014
I have to go to my lesson so I have to stop reading now aND OH MY GOD ITS KILLING ME! Honestly I just adore this story and you are a master at building tension. I have an idea what might happen in the last two chapters - I've thought it from fairly early on but omg I can't wait to read it (- Ironicduck)
| luvakatsuki3 chapter 28 . 5/12/2014
Alright. I liked it. Simpler than I expected, and totally didn't take five minutes to read like you said it would lol, but it included all the necessary things without overloading it.
Only thing I missed about it is that I wish Axel and Levin had been included in some manner, his mother, you know those kind of people and their various reactions or feelings.
AnywYs, congrats on finishing your fan fiction. :-) :-)
Now, you oughta edit it and label it complete now that it's done :-)
| XxEyelinerHeartsxX chapter 28 . 5/12/2014
Awe man! I wish there could be a victory tour! This story was amazing though! Definitely a favorite!
| PrincessLyoka chapter 28 . 5/11/2014
As this is the last chapter, this really deserves a review.
I don't mind this being short. Really, wherever your heart desires to end the story is where you end the story. It's just a beautiful ending.
Altogether, this has been one of the best FanFics I've ever read. You're an amazing writer, and I tend not to hand that compliment to many people, as I get it myself a lot. I'm sure you get it just as much, or more, I dunno. I really don't care as long as you actually believe what they, and me, say. Because, honestly, you are an amazing writer. From writer to writer, alrighty?
Keep up the good work and happy writings.