|Reviews for Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Team Eviolite - Book 2: Time Shocked!|
| Pokerox27 chapter 15 . 1/14
Great chapter! Can't believe I haven't read it already! :D but seriously, I need more Mari! She's like, my fave! xD
| greatpika444 chapter 15 . 1/8
Me : Austin, I think you'll need to check your autocorrect XD . I found the ransom note turned into random note and there's 'back and fourth'
| Carolina chapter 15 . 12/28/2015
Lol forgot the other and age of stella...
Other: Book worm, loves jewelry.
| Carolina chapter 15 . 12/28/2015
As awesome as ever.
BTW I'm just gonna submit my oc in this review kk? Well the profile of it...
And one more thing, I thought that team evolite needed more water type.
And this is a couple match for Conner. But if he already has one then I overlooked it. Sorry.
And Idk how to submit it any other way...
And if you have other plans for Stella, that's cool too. It's just an honor if I'm one of the lucky few.
(Tho I doubt you'll see it...)
Personality: Clever, Cheerful, Jolly, Sometimes Naive and a bit Shy.
Moves: Hydro pump, Air slash, Water pulse, Drill peck.
Level: Around Conner's level but one short.
Bio:(I'll leave it to you if you want. If not, here it is.) She was just at age 3 when she actually saw her parents murdered by a stranger in a cloak. This stranger, however, spared her life for some reason. She was always teased and bullied because of her dream to become a hero of legend of some sorts. Her dream first starts as to join team evolite.
Lol too much Ands. XD
| Zlaxe chapter 15 . 12/10/2015
Hello there! Okay, first off, I could have sworn that you just updated into page 15... But my note said page 14 is where I'm supposed to read... Oh well, a double review won't hurt right? So, I'll get to it then!
Great chapter as usual! Not much happened here except for the rest of the expedition of FogBound Lake. Although, I have to say that Eve IS awesome, not because of her killing "Groudon" in one hit but because of everything Alex said in the chapter... Except for that "love you" part.
Speaking of which, yay! They are now officially together! Does the two have a shipping name already? Kinda forgot and also curious if there already is. Actually, kinda think of it... Does the other pair of couples have shipping as well?
Great chapter as always! A ton has happened here. Pranks, Dusknoir, rescue mission, Rosa, ransoms, Shade, shortcuts, Emma, and most of all, eyes. It may have been a coincidence on that last part but this chapter talked about eyes and sight for the most part.
Anyways, I could have never thought of Eve having navigating instincts WITHOUT a map. She just got way more awesome because of that. And I quote; "Yep! Awesome huh?!" ~Eve X3 Best reply she ever made. Also, I have a slight feeling magic is SOMEHOW involve in her awesome-y-ness. Not a word, yes but that's describe Eve in a sense.
Huh... Another Eevee... Well, looks like there is hope for the lonely ones out there. ;3. I liked that part of the whole trainer-master thing. Austin's right, it does sound demeaning when your the same race as your old partner... Unless of course he and Ally ha-
Okay, what else... Austin found his mother. Yay! Family reunion! But his father's missing. Yay! Family rescue-nion! X3
And finally Flare... I always mixed your flare from mine... Kinda think of it, I also mixed up Connor and Riley as well. And I can't remember what Shade is... I want to say it's Umbreon but again, I mixed up characters from different fics. Especially, if they have the same name... Okay, getting off topic. So Flare's does have it. Well... maybe not. So I'll just wait for the next chapter, for surprise purposes. Especially what that 'pattern' looks, means and role.
Now, that's about it. Again great updates, keep up the great work and as always, can't wait for your next updates! Byez!
| VulpixMaster1298 chapter 15 . 12/8/2015
Very well written chapter. The small extra bits like having magic in add an extra spice to the story. Interesting to finally see Austin's Mom. Also I am curious to what the pattern in Flare's eyes are for. Slightly reminded of Naruto.
| Eeryhiam chapter 14 . 10/26/2015
Here's what I have in mind now:
As if someone were to read this story first and the other one second, it's hard to catch up on some characters and even know which species they are, but they are very well developed and unique. Some points are the same, though, like phrasing methods.
On to the story:
Descriptions are exact, making anyone able to imagine a scenery equal to the originals. The plot is going as-is since the first chapter, plus a remix from the original games which gives this FF a special aura. Emphasizing specially in romantic scenes- there's almost not a single chapter without them.
Discarding some minor typos, it's perfectly well typed.
In this recent chapter, personally, I got the impression you skipped some points you may have had in mind at the moment, like starting the official relationship between Alex & Eve now and not later. I don't discuss this, though, surprises are to be expected with you as the author!
Keep up the attitude, because at this pace you will have a lot of followers by tomorrow. Cheers!
| Noizy Puppy chapter 14 . 10/23/2015
sooo much cuteness! argh!
Thanks for the update!
| Zlaxe chapter 13 . 10/16/2015
Hello there! Nothing to say here, so I'm just going to get right onto the review.
Okay, great update! A lot has happened here. Eve, Alex, and Bidoof set off on their expedition and somehow end up getting there last, for now at least. I blame the route they took, not Eve, but the route.
Austin, Ally, Connor and Riley took a detour that may or may not result to Chatot lecturing them... Okay, I admit the probability of Chatot NOT lecturing someone late is low, but there is a chance. And it looks like Alex will get a better sword when the whole Team Eviolite finally get together again.
I guess that's about it. Again, great update, keep up the great work and as always, can't wait for your next update. Byez!
| Pokerox27 chapter 13 . 10/12/2015
Great chapter! Can't wait to see more of Harry and his team!
| ZyGuradian chapter 12 . 9/30/2015
Now that I've caught up with the story, I can finally leave a review!
First of all I must say that after reading right the way through from your book 1 to now, it's great to see just how much your writing has improved, that's something I think is really awesome - you've obviously made a huge effort to improve your skill and style, and that's something you should be extremely proud of. As the chapters go on the quality improves more and more, and your spelling and grammar is almost perfect now. The only thing you're messing up on a little is homophones - words that sound the same but have different spellings and meanings. For example, sealing and ceiling, queue and cue. These can be tricky to spot, the red zigzag lines won't show up for these, so take extra care!
I like the ways that you're deviating from the original plot of the Mystery Dungeon games. Those of us that have played the games will know the overall plot, but your additional magic plot is keeping things very interesting. I will admit I was not so sure about it at first, especially when you gave them weapons (swords in pokémon?), but you've written it in a way that makes it feel natural, and I've come to accept it and even quite enjoy it, so that's another success.
Something that's a little unnatural, however, is the technology they seem to have. In the pokémon world, where supposedly they do have some technology but not human-like technology (I believe it came up in a conversation about watches), I have to raise my eyebrows when there are suddenly cameras in Marowak's arena, and the mysterious scythe-wielding riolu has headphones. It's a little out of the blue and a bit off putting.
Something else that can be slightly confusing is the way the point of view switches quite fast sometimes. For the most part it's manageable, but sometimes when the scene changes I miss the fact that the point of view has also changed, and I have to scroll back up to check. Perhaps putting the point of view change on one line and the scene change on another would help clear up any confusion?
There's one more thing that I noticed that bugged me a little bit. It might seem like quite a small thing, but it's the way you change the word 'you' to 'ya'. It's not incorrect as it's within speech, but I feel like you tend to overuse it a little. It makes sense when a character like Eve or Austin does it since they're characters who would naturally change the way they speak in that way. However, it starts to become really noticeable when almost every character does it - Alex, Esuna, I think even the queen said it at one point. To me, these don't seem like characters who would say 'ya', as they seem more intellectual and might want to sound a little more proper. The way a character speaks does actually build up an idea of their character, and with everyone having similar mannerisms your characters are at risk of blending together a bit, and their distinctive personalities could get lost. 'Ya' sounds very friendly and a little impatient, and not all of the characters have this personality.
Overall, though, I can't personally fault your storytelling or characters. Even with the 'ya' thing their personalities are shining through (I think Drew might deserve a bit more screen time), and I do care about the fates of the characters, which is an achievement on your side. I'm interested in how all this magic is going to pan out, and the way you're building up Shade's backstory is keeping me in suspense!
You're doing great, just watch those homophones and try to imagine how each character would speak as an individual to really, really establish strong characters.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Zlaxe chapter 12 . 9/23/2015
Hello there! Man, you really let all out with your twists aren't you? But! I like them all the same. :)
Okay, like the first book. I love ALL of the characters. It's hard to pick just one to choose as a favorite but... I chose Eve in the end since, I tend to like the weird, in a good way, characters. But I honestly put Eve just below my number one... like the other's but she's way closer to that spot than the others.
Sidetracking over, I really like your twists about magic. I like the way you said there were different types of magic, and not in the old "Elements" type. So far, I knew there is celestial, elemental, and dark magic. Can't wait for new ones.
Speaking of new, you really made me speechless then unable to find words when you introduced mew as the towns elder. Really, I haven't read any fics with a twist like.
Now, I always wondered what Ally and Eve's grandparents look like... And now with them introduced, I see that their family keeps getting interesting. (Austin Grace... pfft, priceless X3) And I keep forgetting that Eve was the eldest... Maybe I read the first book wrong when Ally explained her and Eve's birthdays...
I think, that's about it. So yeah, amazing story (even with some small errors, which I don't know if you already know), keep up the great work, and can't wait for your next update. Byez! And Oh, don't tell Eve about her being younger? Byez again!*teleports out*
| TheShinyAbra chapter 12 . 8/24/2015
Hey SnivyPro, I wanted to do this for a while but I have a character suggestion. The character is a Male Shiny Zorua named Twilight, who has a more leader-like nature, but is loving and caring about his friends. His parents died a year before he could fend for himself, but was able to live because of the other friendly pokemon that lived there.
He also is the descendant of a powerful figure, making anyone who comes near him, respect him, except for bad pokemon who try to pick a fight but are hopelessy outmatched by his skill, intelligence, and strength. He has the ability to take on two major legendaries at once. He is also the one to observe and understand, and he radiates a calm aura, making him able to befriend any pokemon, especially Snivys, since one of his best friends was a Female Snivy, that is, until they were brutally violated and murdered. He likes females [in a romantic or sibling way, it depends]. Lastly, he seeks out the Kabuto that killed his friend so he can put his friends soul to rest.
You can choose how he makes his entrance into the story. But again, I would love if you put them in, but you don't have to.
Stay sharp, Snivypro!
| Brightcloud0915 chapter 12 . 8/19/2015
I liked it. Seeing how Eve felt when her parents vanished gives me a better idea of what she's like. And though it was explained to Austin in the first book Ally didn't go into to much detail... at least I don't remember her doing so. In any case I enjoyed reading this chapter. Keep up the good work.
| VulpixMaster1298 chapter 12 . 8/14/2015
As usual another great chapter Snivy. Can't wait for more!