Reviews for The First Victor
katsparkle13 chapter 12 . 1/3/2014
Oh boy, Martin seems like a jerk! That's interesting, because usually Eleven's tribute's are usually a little too sweet. Cool twist. But the chapter was really short and I think you know how much I love long chapters. Always push yourself to write more and eventually it will just be a habit. And I would be happy to help. I'll beta you! Let's do this!
katsparkle13 chapter 11 . 11/17/2013
This seems like a very cool idea, Esther.
Guest chapter 10 . 11/14/2013
I like how you put what the victors think of the tributes and i really like these tributes so adorable
OkIvy chapter 9 . 9/5/2013
Hello I just wante to say I love this story and most of all the characters especially Ara Rush, Orchid Spectral, Coral Hathawy, Willow and Zander Le
katsparkle13 chapter 9 . 9/5/2013
Hello again! You don't have to seperate the sentences quite so much. Paragraphs are good, too. Lacy and Wade are both very sweet and you did a good jog writing that aspect of them. In the future, it would be cool to talk more about district life. I'm assuming these two are richer as they can eat things like waffles? You can elaborate on that more later, if you want. I kind of prefer Wade over Lacy just cause he seems a little less sweet all the time, but not a bad guy at all.
Guest chapter 8 . 9/1/2013
Awesome i love how they ask the victors questions simply amazing :)
katsparkle13 chapter 8 . 7/22/2013
Sorren's last sentence was very good. But most importantly, you need to write more! A writer writes, so write! There's lots of good stuff in here, there just needs to be more of it. We all submitted fairly detailed tribute forms, so you have a lot to go off of. There was no mention of Hanna in Sorren's section, or much about the day-to-day life in either character's. Just use the forms submitted and go from there. Push yourself to write at least 2,000 words per chapter and go from there. I believe in you! If you need any help with this, please PM me.

Write on!
Guest chapter 7 . 7/10/2013
Aww poor orchid she's so young :( and Jason he's already lost his dad and now his crush AND brother are chosen for the games flipping snow -.-
katsparkle13 chapter 6 . 6/16/2013
Firstly, no hurry in updating! Often, the longer it takes to update, the more thought you put into your chapter. So it's all okay. And if you know me at all, you'd know I like long chapters. Really long. I would say to push yourself to write more than 3,000 words in one. That could be your goal. Next chapter, push yourself to write 2,000. You'll be so happy when you do!

Ayani's view on the Capital was pretty obviously stated, which is good. Often writers kind of forget to mention how their character feels about them at all. I wanted Isaac's section to be longer. But of course, I always say that! Every section should be longer! When you write longer stuff, there is more time for the reader to see this character unfold. That way, you're not rushing to describe things. Like a few times in both Ayani's and Isaac's POVs I felt like the description of the families was more a rush of "telling" rather than "showing." Instead of saying that her father is smart and caring, show it. And instead of telling us that Elicity is adorable, show us in a dialogue between her and Isaac.

All this can be solved by writing more! But baby steps. If you need any help extending chapters or ideas if you're getting a block, I'm here for ya. I really liked both these characters (haha no bias, of course) and I can't wait to read more about them.
finnick forever chapter 5 . 6/5/2013
Thank you for making Zander look good
can't for the games to start
katsparkle13 chapter 5 . 6/5/2013
My first thought of Coral is that she seems kind of young to want to volunteer. Than I saw Zander's! So that makes for some pretty interesting characters.

To help you with your story, I'd suggest something super simple. All you have to do is bold certain lettering, especially when you're switching POVs. Just put, for example Zander Le's POV in bold letters. Also, bold your author's notes and the part where you say Sneak Peek. Not all of it, just those two words! I figured that out pretty recently and it actually makes the story a lot easier to read!

Oh, and I like your sneak peeks.
DomiHearts1497 chapter 5 . 6/4/2013
I like these District 4 tributes. This is how you spell 'role model' just wanted to let you know :) can't wait for D5!
katsparkle13 chapter 4 . 5/21/2013
Oh goody! I'm so glad to see this thing up and running. Writing is awesome, need I say more?

Anyway, I'm just gonna tell you what I tell every other author on this site. Ever. Longer chapters! It's okay if you're not feeling up to 5 or 6 thousand word ones. But you will build up to those, I promise you. Just get into the haabit of pushing yourself to the furthest you can go. There is no pressure to update every day or every other day. I update in 8 day intervals and my readers never complain! It's fine, really. Try to see as far as you can push each character, so that the submitter feels satisfied.

And that, my friend, is that best advice a relatively new writer can give! It will be my one year aniversary writing for this site really soon! But yeah, longer longer longer.

I like where this is going. I like it a lot. :)
DomiHearts1497 chapter 3 . 5/20/2013
Make sure you capitalize the beginning letter in dialogue. These district 2 careers are interesting... can't wait to see everyone else. :D
DomiHearts1497 chapter 2 . 5/20/2013
Both seem like good tributes, hahaha Atticus Finch, I'm reading to kill a mockingbird for English class and he's my favorite character. Anyway nice Careers, will wait patiently to see the rest ;)
16 | Page 1 2 Next »