|Reviews for Unlikely Couple|
| Monster King chapter 13 . 4/10
Great story I really liked it can't wait until the next update.
| JHShadow chapter 12 . 1/16
"You rush things a lot in the story like how danzo dies " Wait danzo died
| Shark jumper chapter 11 . 1/5
This fix has officially jumped the shark with this chapter. It's a shame too cause I was really beginning to like it. I was already uneasy with the whole dragon thing but to add guns into naruto? I knew then it was time to stop.
| Talonsen chapter 11 . 12/26/2016
Where do I start… you called the Sage of SIX Paths a ninja. Hagarumo was a SAGE who created NISHU which was then perverted into NINJUTSU. Now I don't mind how you did the Kyuubi because she is essentially an OC, but you imply that the Sage is the same one (or similar) to the one in canon, who had a distinct dislike of the Ninja and Ninjutsu in general as it was a bastardized and weaponized version of his Nishu. You also don't really seem to have a vary good understanding of the Sage's godlike powers, yes he could probably use wood and storm release, but he could probably use every other sub-element due to his mastery of yin-yang nature that he could mix any and all of the five main; ergo his Truth-Seeking Balls.
Also, I'm sure I'm not the first, or last, to say this but you seem to have a tendency to either use too little to too much discription. You seem to give some rather unimportant sections rather expansive discription detail while adding to little to situations such as combat and conversation. Then in this last chapter the introduction of "ancient gun technology" I'm sorry, but that was just awful. To match the power of even Chidori you would need the equivalent of the Harkkonen Cannon from Hellsing, at least. And to match the powers and speed of some of the things the Sage of Six Paths' ChakraNine Tails ChakraSenjutsu Chakra you would need a gun that fires bullets surpassing Mach 5 with destructive power at least equivalent of a 40in battleship gun.
I won't even get into the grammar errors and paragraph style that makes the story harder than necessary to read. Overall I'd rate this story a 4/10 it's a really interesting concept, but got quickly convoluted and I'm not sure even you yourself know where you're going with it.
| auroriandragon chapter 7 . 12/24/2016
i just cant read this story any more. im sorry i just dont like your story
| arinasution5 chapter 13 . 12/4/2016
| Jacklvmage12 chapter 13 . 11/14/2016
What time is it? Iiiiits REVIEW TIME! Man I love to review stories I read. It just gives me such joy.
Ok, so, the first thing im going to do is go over the cons of the story, meaning 'this problem and that problem'.
I dont want to be a grammar nazi, same as how the Anonymous Andy said, but you did miss a few things here and there per chapter. Now, I expect this of authors, we arent perfect. We all miss things and sometimes it works better than we had intended. You rush things, the death of Donzo, Naruto's whole story basically. I also hate to repeat things already mentioned but it must be said.
Now for the pros of the story, meaning 'this was good and so was this'.
I think the story as a whole is pretty good. While it may not be my favorite by any means, it is still capable of getting there. Naruto with Kurama/-insert OC name here- is one of the best things ever in my opinion. You have a fantastic way of writing amd it should be kept up. The way you brought Naruto up is... unique, to say the least. Kami and the Sage being the ones who knew what was going to happen and even making a deal so that the Sage could 'train' Naruto is something I have never seen before. I find it to be very interesting and exciting.
On a side note, I avoid godlike anything, other than gods of course, but you have drawn me in. Good job, heres your cookie.
Until next time
| xNaruHina chapter 2 . 11/9/2016
I honestly doubt that Hagoromo would ever be that strict nor would he be cursing like he did. And do you really expect a seven year old to do 2000 pushups or run 50 miles with chakra weights? Even if he has been gifted with enhanced physicality that is impossible for any seven year old to do. To ask a seven year old to do that is just ridiculous and uncalled for. It is almost treating him worse than the villagers...
| xNaruHina chapter 1 . 11/9/2016
Uhhh, do the two not know that Naruto is only seven? They are using fear tactics on a seven year old civilian (no training and hardly any knowledge of shinobi arts beyond what he might have seen used on him) who was also thoroughly abused already? That is lower than low, that is something Orochimaru would do.
| ZeroLC chapter 1 . 11/8/2016
Sorry, but I cannot even remotely read a story where Naruto is tortured and he still decides to stay in Konoha...
Hate runs deep. When the villagers see Naruto, they see the loved ones they lost unfairly to Kyuubi. You just cannot make them forgive and forget like the anime has tried to shown. There will always be people that want to harm Naruto and if they can't get to Naruto because he is so strong, then in the future they will aim for his lovers and then children.
When I see Naruto stay in the village like portrayed in the beginning of your story, I question whether Naruto would let his children grow up there. I sure as heck wouldn't.
Its why I also don't like stories where Naruto wants to go for Hokage. Being Hokage means choosing the village over your family and I never thought of Naruto like that.
This is my opinion and I thought that you should at least know why I decided to not read this story.
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/8/2016
I'm just gonna let you know that I'm gonna read to rest of the story but there are somethings you should be wary of if you write another naruto fic
1 in your first chapter you basically listed out all of narutos abilities except you put it in a narrative witch for long time readers gets pretty boring in fact I kinda just skimmed through the whole chapter
2. Telling him who his parents are early is fine but when you do it don't have characters list off his parents achievements off and bunch of titles it's practically become cliche
3 the whole beaten in an alleyway beginning is fine but you wrote the same way every one else did try to change it up if you decide to do it again
Other than those things your story is great I like the idea behind it it's only been done a handful of times successfully btw just so you don't think this is a flame or I'm just trying to be anonymous my name is Chris just in case do you want to call me out on any of those points
| Noahendless chapter 13 . 11/7/2016
Well, keep going and maybe work on grammar, it seems like a decent story so far.
| RinneShinigami69 chapter 12 . 11/4/2016
This started out as great story, but you started to get sidetracked and added unnecessary things that didn't fit with the story. Also you just forgot about Kurunai's relationship with Naruto, whatever happened with that.
| david.teague.3950 chapter 12 . 10/29/2016
I thank you for explaining what happened in regards to the lack of updates, though I am curious, when was the last update, because I honestly don't really remember this story and usually when a story hasn't been updated in 3 years or I lose interest(both are quite common there's only some that are plenty that haven't been updated between one to three years old that I haven't deleted like Saimin no Jutsu, I mostly keep it for personal reasons.
I get the feeling like you once explained this to me but who is SOTSP?
| booklover41 chapter 12 . 10/29/2016
Um that review was mine. Sorry. Didn't realize i wasn't signed in.