|Reviews for The Favor|
| Motherof8 chapter 27 . 1/23
Enjoyed the story. Thanks
| Motherof8 chapter 10 . 1/23
Glad they settled that
| Motherof8 chapter 4 . 1/23
The nerve of collins
| Motherof8 chapter 1 . 1/23
| Johijoha chapter 27 . 11/6/2015
This story is already a bit older, but I'm gonna give you my thoughts anyway.
I think you have great ideas with loads of potential, but, to quite honest, while reading it, I felt like i was reading a draft for a book not an actual story. The chapters are too short and sometimes you have time lapses that don't really show. But most importantly, I didn't really feel it. It all just happened way to fast. You didn't give the characters and emotions time to develope and there were storylines that just somehow disappeared. For example cousine Anne and the weird lawyer. What happened to them? What did Darcy do that lizzie owed him such a huge favor, like marrying him? How did they fall in love? We didn't really feel it, one chapter they were just friends and the next they're suddenly madly in love. Why did Darcy never tell lizzie about Richard? What became of lizzies mom? what happened between her mom and her dad? why did Lizzie forgive her dad so easily? He might not have kicked her out, but he didn't stopp his wife either and he never tried to find her all those years (something that wouldn't have been very difficult, considering he only had to ask Darcy who is apparently rather well known). What became of Lydia and Kitty? What became of George? That part was very confusing by the way. I thought the guy who raped her (by the way why do you never actually call it a rape?) was the guy she dated before Wickham? And I don't quite get how Collins fits into all of this. How did Lizzie and Darcy meet? Why did they used to hate each other and what changed that?
Too many questions remain unanswered. I suggest you rewrite the story and pay a lot more attention on the details and particularly the emotional developement, because your general ideas are really good.
| dl73ny chapter 27 . 5/31/2015
What was in the secret room
| CillaT chapter 27 . 2/17/2015
awwwwww such a sweet story! I wish you'd included more scenes from their childhood, but this is a very nice and fresh plot!
| snapify52 chapter 5 . 11/13/2014
The dog's name seems to have changed from Charlotte to Bruce in the last couple of chapters. Unless... are there two dogs?
| StoryPirate chapter 19 . 11/5/2014
Sneaky adding the maddening miracle twins in. I've read this story a few times before, but am just now making comments on it. Poor Jane. I love her relationship with Will and Lizzie, though. You do a great job writing that, especially her special bond with Will. One quick thing- check spelling! In a way earlier chapter, you said "waste" (trash) instead of "waist" (part of body). In this chapter, "Sunday" is a day, and "sundae" is what you meant.
| StoryPirate chapter 18 . 11/5/2014
I greatly enjoy the plot of your story, but you need to be more careful in your writing, or get a good beta. Your conversations can be tricky to follow sometimes- it can be difficult to tell who is talking. You did better this chapter, but the previous one confused me quite a bit. Also, consistency, consistency, consistency. You mentioned twice in this chapter that the miracle twins are girls when Lizzie tells Will about them. Then, when he asks why she calls them the miracle children, Lizzie says that she doesn't even know the twins' genders.
| Samishere21 chapter 27 . 7/24/2013
So amazing so very amazing
| smilinghoney chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
Awesome start to this story. Just a few times when you got your pronouns mixed up. Not sure if you want to go back and edit but here they are:
"and he won't get the company" - I'm assuming it's supposed to be she as in his cousin Anne.
"When he had finished telling her about her problem, she just stared at him" -2nd her should be his assuming Darcy's story.
Moving onto the next chapter of your story! Thanks!
| Lisa Cooper chapter 27 . 7/9/2013
Totally charming story! I liked how you had Will Darcy support Lizzie Bennet, and how their love grew. This could be pulled out to be a book about the Darcy family overcoming bad experiences and creating a good life in spite of the bad. I liked how you mixed the characters and themes of Pride and Prejudice with modern times. It was mostly believable, and where it didn't seem to mesh with modern reality, you pulled me back in with the charmingness of the story. Thanks for writing this. Lisa C.
| MadAboutAusten chapter 27 . 7/8/2013
Aww...such a beautiful story! You are such a great writer and I like all of your stories, even if I don't say it often! Keep up the good work and keep feeding our hungry appetites for more D&E action.. Cheers! :)
| Linnea chapter 27 . 7/6/2013
That was a very good ending. Next to the beginning, endings are the hardest things to get right. Congratulations on finishing! I enjoyed the story very much.