|Reviews for The Bee and its Stinger|
| Written4you chapter 1 . 10/15/2014
1-When I read the part about anything breakable being kept away from Ken's reach I couldn't help but smile because we all like to think that's the case with siblings but it isn't. Nothing is safe!
2-Reading how you put the value of their brotherly relationship is touching and smart. I thought it to be smart because most siblings, myself included couldn't look at a situation and be able to say our bonding is not worth getting upset over some item (a device as you have it in your story) We bicker till the end, so seeing it written out differently was touching. On the other hand when you shift to Ken, we see he isn't letting it go, typical of siblings. Stubborn boy!
3-My heart dropped when Ken didn't listen to his brother when crossing the road. Look both sides I found myself shouting at the computer screen lol The build up sentences were good and I'll be honest I thought you might just kill the character off in the first chapter (but you didn't) which I'm thankful for.
4-"almost absently, to rub his neck" and "sighed and rubbed his temp" are very realistic actions we do subconsciously, the fact you added it to your fic makes it more human. Your writing of character isn't stiff or robotic like mine are. Those two sentences made your characters more real to me is what I'm trying to say.
5-Why why?! did he wish his brother would die? Like you wrote by the end of the chapter if either of them died by the car, the amount of blame would be heavy on the surviving sibling's shoulders.
P.S. YOU TITLED THIS CHAPTER PERFECTLY!
| Aiko Isari chapter 13 . 10/11/2014
All hail the muse!
So basically, instead of time passing at its normal speed, like it usually does, the patch moved time forward like the fast forward button on a VCR? And the brain and body just kind of filled in everything else.
It sure must have been awkward for Osamu to come back and be informed hey, two years have passed, where were you? God all of that fame. That must have been horrible. Not to mention it says not a thing about Ken's condition. Really...
I love how Osamu is suddenly aware of how much Ken really does for him and not having him around has ruined something in him. Osamu is not good at self-regulation, self-control, or any of those things. Ken was the one who helped him relax. He was the stress reliever and all of that and now, suddenly he's not there to be that and now Osamu has to do it himself and,well he can't. Now they all have made some changes and Osamu isn't really sure how to handle them, especially if eleven-year-old Ken wakes up mentally eight. That's awkward.
Especially with all of those reporters around. must have been terrible. And all the fans too... urgh, this is another thing to hate about them.
I sympathize with Osamu's jealousy there. Though he has no good reason to trust the judgement of the Digital World, he is also not able to go and protect his brother, who is now in a coma with nothing to be done about it. Oikawa isn't so much sympathetic, like he is, but he's also going to exploit it. But knowing 02, the Chosen will get their D-3s anyway, Kaiser or no Kaiser.
Also, hi Daisuke.
Anyway, to wrap this up a bit, I am sad this is done, but it's been a fun fic, and Oikawa's a horrible but sympathetic character. I guess I have to wait for the sequel then. Don't die while writing it! Please? XD See you later!
| Aiko Isari chapter 12 . 10/1/2014
*whistles* Well then. That's awkward.
(I know I should be in bed. My suitemates are still up. I'm about to sleep though.)
Anyway, Osamu! Somehow he makes a better focal character than Ken does. Though it can't be helped, Ken is adorable but also indisposed at the moment. Also, Osamu has some dang COMMON SENSE, which is something most characters in Digimon seem to lack. He actually thinks before diving in. Even though he doesn't have much of a choice when it comes right down to it, at least he's honestly thinking about it.
That Digimon is Arukenimon. It sounds like her, manipulative but much more careful than in canon. Most likely Oikawa's actually keeping an eye on her methods this time and keeping her from saying something stupid. Good on him.
I'm not sure who sounds more resigned in this chapter; Gennai or Osamu. Osamu is accepting of the fact that he really can't help his brother as he wants to, and Gennai is accepting of the fact that he can't really help the Chosen as much as they probably need it, or give the answers everyone probably deserves. So they're both kind of stuck attempting to be okay with everything and do what little they can. Which again, isn't much. neither of them are Chosen and that really sucks. So much sympathy and empathy being traded around here, I love it!
Also, I smell 02 in the works. Digimentals, new Digivices! I like that you still had Ken's D-3 be altered because of the Dark Seed. Immensely fascinating.
As a side note, did anyone ever tell Osamu he over analyzes? Cause I get that vibe so hard and it' somewhat adorable and somewhat awkward. Dork.
Secretly hoping no one tags you by the time I wake up so I can tag you again and finish this off! But if not, oh well. Until next time, catch you later!
| Miss Anonymous hp chapter 13 . 9/21/2014
So... I don't fully understand. Oikawa "tricked" the world into thinking two years had passed? So had the two years not passed after all? But how did he reprogram the Real World? I'm very confused by that last revelation. Ignoring that, though, this was a great end chapter to lead into a sequel. It had a great tone and really explained everything out nicely. It does make me wonder how Ken is going to be a Digidestined coming up, though. His muscles are going to be so atrophied that surely he'll have issues running and being active, as is needed for digidestined. Or is that going to be handwaved in favor of plot? This is the Digital World, so maybe something different would be happen... I'm not sure.
Either way, great chapter. A great story all together. Wonderful job!
| Miss Anonymous hp chapter 12 . 9/21/2014
This was a great chapter. I'm so sorry I didn't review it the last fortnight. I completely forgot, I guess! I feel awful. Either way, this chapter was fantastic. Once again, I love your characterization of Osamu. I was worried for a second that he was going to suddenly turn evil, but I much prefer your decision that you went with instead. He seems like such a great brother, and I wish he could be a Chosen for the simple fact that you write him so well! But at the same time, I like the dichotomy of having a Chosen for a sibling and how Osamu is forced to deal with that.
Gennai was a welcome face in this as well. I completely approve. His characterization was great, and I thought all of his explanations made perfect sense. I also liked seeing Arukenimon around. At least, I assumed that was Arukenimon. I guess there's always a chance that it was someone else since it was never expressly said. Either way, she was a great little moment, and it makes me very curious as to what in the world Oikawa accomplished by sending Osamu to the pocket of worlds. Or maybe that wasn't his intention at all, and he was just testing the program on him? Hm, not sure!
| Digi-fanCatt chapter 13 . 9/10/2014
Hail the muse!
| FlameofSwords chapter 13 . 9/10/2014
*continues to refresh your profile page to see the sequel*
Sorry I haven't reviewed in awhile, but I'll make it up with this.
Anyways... I just loved that ending. Okay, so with the "Oh crap" moment given to me by the second to last sentence, I kind of missed the last sentence. But still... what does Oikawa plan do to with this? I mean, it seems like he's going to do something better than scanning Ken's Dark Spore to implant it into other children (though, that was more MaloMyotismon then Oikawa), which is what kind of creeps me out. So he's just going to abuse the fact that Osamu's alive now, huh? I've gotta say, I rather like the idea of Oikawa tricking Osamu into working for him...oh! Just like how he tricked Ryo. Now that's rather...interesting, to say the least. Maybe... ah! Excuse my rambling!
Two years? And Ken still hasn't woken up yet? Aw, poor Ken. But it allows some Osamu time... and I feel sorry for both. As for Ken, two years is a pretty long time for one to sleep, even if it was only a couple of hours in his mind. I wonder if all he sees is darkness... or is just reliving nightmares.
Osamu... oh media, loving to exploit every little thing. Go away! You guys are annoying. Shoo! Anyways, media aside... ooh, Osamu ran into Davis... well, Daisuke for use of Japanese names. It actually took me awhile to figure out why Daisuke was responding the way he was. Oh well, that's just Daisuke for you. Nice to know he's still a Chosen, but Osamu? Well, your reasoning is sound. But I think you're reading the information wrong. And yet, he's just jealous... and to answer Osamu (and yes, I'm answering to a fictional character), I'm starting to think its because he just doesn't let his mind wander to random places and just have an active imagination. Technically, Joe is like an adult, and yet he's still a Chosen... okay, maybe I'm confusing myself here. But if Fly on a Wall ends like 02 did, hey Osamu, you can be a Chosen! Or...
Geez, more of my pointless rambling... should probably stop this now before it gets too far. Anyways, I really can't wait for the sequel. I have a lot of hopes for Fly on a Wall, and knowing you, I'm pretty sure it will. Well, until next time!
| FlightfootKeyseeker chapter 13 . 9/10/2014
I feel bad for Ken and Osamu. They lost two years of their childhood within a few hours.
| NatNicole chapter 13 . 9/10/2014
AWESOME! I look forward to it!
| FlightfootKeyseeker chapter 12 . 9/10/2014
Huh. So the Digimental of Kindness can heal Ken. Does that mean that if one of the other Chosen got infected, they'd just need to come into contact with their corresponding Digimental?
| Aiko Isari chapter 11 . 9/9/2014
wow. There was a LOT in this chapter.
... Guess that's a bit of an understatement, all things considered.
I'm not sure who earns my sympathy more in this chapter: Ryo or Ken. Ken because he doesn't know what's going on, and Ryo, who does, But may not know nearly all of it. All Ken really seems to know is what he sees and all Ryo knows is what he hopes is the truth and neither seem to be able to communicate and see whether one is right or the other is.
Ken has a really nice reaction of disbelief and inability to accept or catch on. Kids can be pretty stubborn about how the reality should be, almost moreso than adults. He doesn't have the ability to react in time, mostly because he doesn't expect Ryo (or rather Cyberdramon for the most part) to be causing this much destruction. Hence why he really keeps getting hurt. On the other hand, Ryo is trying to keep him safe... in the worst manner possible. Telling someone kind to stay away was a stupid idea, particularly a kind someone with a destiny, or someone who is desperate for their friends, is never going to work. It just doesn't click.
The Dark Seed is definitely causing the sickness. So would the whole "kindness Digimental being able to help Ken be because it was the source of what broke him from being the Kaiser in the original canon? And it was probably referred to as an egg by Oikawa/ Vamdemon because the vagueness would ensure more destruction? (warning, my reviews are spoilery to the fandom blind!)
Man, V-mon and Cyberdramon just get into it! They're both Ryo's partners, so to speak, and they're both fighting over it. The connection to Ryo is only meant for one! Still, ow, poor Wormmon, he did not deserve to get mixed up in this, especially considering the impact this might have on Ken if it is true. Seriously... ow.
I like the pace of this chapter. It's really fast, really saying we are running towards the end and it's going to be a rollercoaster of action. This series is only at two, you say but I sense more. Much more. Hooray for lots of stories!
There's two chapters left for me and I can't wait to read them! Catch you later!
| Digi-fanCatt chapter 12 . 9/8/2014
This is an amazing story! I can't wait 'til the next update!
| Aiko Isari chapter 10 . 9/6/2014
Oh hey, I am an Aiko, aren't I?
And I was right. Ken did not take this well. Thankfully, Ken is a lot perkier than he was in canon, so he's going somewhere with this and not being quite as mopey. (I love Ken but he did get mopey for good reason in canon.)
I kind of love the image of a chibi Ken in a blanket cocoon. All he needs is Minomon, and the image is perfect. It's still cute, either way.
Again, the relationship of Ken and Osamu is a quietly awkward and undeniably close thing that just works in some intangible way that is siblings that aren't legitimately trying to murder each other.
The gravity of losing the eggs is really well-put here, both by Wormmon and Osamu. It's not the same as the human world, it's like losing a third of the babies born in the span of an hour. Ow...
Poor, poor Osamu, having to watch his brother leave while sick and just being stuck there can't be easy.
So here's the question: they tried asking V-mon before... where is he now? Already all sealed up?
I love how they jump straight to Millenimummon. It's a fair jump, but still, wow. And again, more good questions: where is Gennai? Is he off looking up more cryptic riddles? Oh gosh, here we go again.
Catch you later remi! Is this wrapping up or am I seeing things?
| Miss Anonymous hp chapter 11 . 8/31/2014
Is Ryo really this unkind? Obviously, I've never played any of the Wonderswan games so I only know him from Tamers. I really do feel like I'm missing a lot of necessary backstory to understand where Ryo is coming from. I know it's not your job to fill in the blanks, but if you do find it within your story to be able to explain all of that, I think it would help a lot. It just seems like Ryo is far crueler than I ever remember him being. Granted, he's doing all of these terrible things for a good reason, and it's always hard to make good characters do bad things and make it believable, but I guess I'm just having a little hard time following the arc.
Ignoring that little tidbit on characterization which may or may not actually be a concern, I loved this chapter. I just thought it flowed so well. The way you're able to write a conversation happening without any dialogue is so great. I mean, usually, I hate the summarized version of conversations. I love reading the actual dialogue, but you do it so well that it flows just masterfully from dialogue to summary to dialogue.
The meeting between Ken and Ryo was just about as epic as anybody could expect it to be. I mean, sure, it happened so unexpectedly that it was a bit out of left field, but I rather liked that. I liked that it was as simple as trying to meet up with Gennai. Suddenly, Ryo was there, and he couldn't hide from them. I also loved Ryo's explanation for not being able to just simply run off. I, again, don't know if it's canon that Ryo can't always get Cyberdramon to go where he wants him to go - I believe so, but I'm just now rewatching Tamers, and I'm not quite up to Ryo's intro yet - but I still thought it was a perfect plot device to keep that conversation going.
I wonder why Veemon wasn't sealed up in his Digiegg the second Ryo no longer needed him? I always assumed that Veemon, Hawkmon, and Armadillomon were sealed up to be protected from evil forces that might want him destroyed. I guess, maybe, the evil force could have been Ken, and without Ken, they're allowed to roam free? I have no idea!
Great chapter. Keep up the great work!
| Apollomon x Stingmon chapter 11 . 8/26/2014
Wow. This was really well written. I love the confusion and interaction between Ryo and ken. You can see the struggle Ryo is going through to help ken. I also love the ending with ken getting the digiegg of kindness.