Reviews for Gabriella Amelia Zabini
Ali989969 chapter 3 . 10/4
I'm liking the story a lot, but if you're going back to edit, please consider a beta. As a former copy editor, run-one sentences and incorrectly formatted quotes grate my nerves to the point of distraction and near pain. That is all. Hopefully you take that as the constructive criticism it's intended to be. Now I'm going back to enjoy one of my favorite plots: Hermione as Blaise's sister.
Guest chapter 5 . 3/5/2014
your writting is ok, but the story is going so fast and Hermiones character is so OOC the whole time, that the story is not believable. It could be much better If you tried to imagine yourself in her situation and how you would act. I really doubt it would be the same as you wrote it
Guest chapter 2 . 3/5/2014
that was no very believable. Hermione running to Blaise to hug him, being nice with Malfoys, forgiving them so fast and hugging them, thats just ridiculous, because its so fast. It could have waited a few chapters.
small world chapter 5 . 2/14/2014
I like the plot line; it's interesting. However, everything seems to go by too fast. Reactions to the news are very unlikely to a normal person. Most people find it hard to know they were adopted. Most people won't adopt another name so quickly. People who have hated each other would not be happy to know they are related.
Daniann8 chapter 3 . 2/10/2014
I just want to let you know that I'm only on chapter three and I feel that you have a decent plot going, but it gets very confusing when you put a bunch of dialogue in one paragraph. It helps if you break up the dialogue into separate sentences so that readers don't get confused over talking. Another reason to do that is because it is very off-putting to many readers when a whole page is a bunch of long paragraphs. Just a thought.
Midnight Shadow's Secret chapter 1 . 1/29/2014
I have managed to make it through several pages of this story. While the story line is good, the way your paragraphs are written out, as well as your sentences, are a bit confusing. You have so many characters talking in one paragraph, you should have them separated. There is also the lack of, as well as misplacement of, punctuation and grammatical errors, that it has given me a headache to read this story.
SterekDramione721 chapter 28 . 1/23/2014
Okay I loved the plot, but you really need a beta. There is so much wrong with this story.
LadiePhoenix007 chapter 28 . 1/21/2014
Wonderful job with this story.
dutch potterfan chapter 28 . 1/21/2014
Great ending to a great story.
Only Dreams are Free chapter 27 . 1/11/2014
Wow I love the story, really awesome.
Amber Seabolt chapter 26 . 12/7/2013
I love this story it is awesome.
Goldielocks80 chapter 1 . 10/30/2013
Absolutely loved this story, i got so engrossed in it nearly missed breakfast, So More Please
shaymars chapter 25 . 10/22/2013
Great chapter update...update more soon please
Cat130 chapter 23 . 9/12/2013
loved the chapter
shaymars chapter 22 . 9/8/2013
Update more soon...too short and the cliffy has me wanting more...
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