|Reviews for Shoukan no Kuragari|
| BlazeMary chapter 1 . 1/19
I find your story very interesting so far! The way you portrayed Zeref's personality was perfect I really like it , I also like his interaction with Naruto.
Can't wait to see what Naruto will learn and what he will become.
| man chapter 1 . 1/6
Please update quickly
| whitecloud222 chapter 1 . 1/2
well this is something i well read
| Seekerfinderdigger chapter 1 . 9/17/2013
Hmmmm... interesting. So, with Konoha-Naruto being a projection, he'll probably be able to fake jutus, right?
I want to see where this goes... and if you need ideas, give me a prompt and some time, and I could give you a list.
| Kishin20711 chapter 1 . 7/16/2013
Do you mean you are time skipping until pain (in other words the actual anime) or are going to follow the storyline (your version)? By the way, what magic is he going to learn, since he is with Zeref at the moment, it leads me to think he is going to learn his signature magic, but it would be nice if he learned other unique magic, like Minerva's War God Magic. Good luck by the way.
| Mithos Yggdrassil chapter 1 . 6/3/2013
Like the premise, do continue it.
| KitsuneDragon chapter 1 . 6/2/2013
Pretty good. Though you still need to work on your spelling and grammar a bit, but it was not so bad that it was not hard to understand what was happening in the story. Nicely done.
Though I'm confused. Kurama is a mass of chakra living in Naruto and Naruto has magic, so shouldn't Naruto have exploded by your logic in which magic and chakra mixing with another causes people to destroy themselves from the inside out? Or is it that Kurama is actually a magical creature since he was made from the Juubi, a creature that Zeref made from magic?
| Ccebling2 chapter 1 . 5/24/2013
So will Naruto be paired with a female Kyuubi just like in the original?
| Dregus chapter 1 . 5/21/2013
so your changing this up quite a bit then.
| kroz phantomville chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
Good chapter. Though the beginning was too cliché. Please don't make Naruto's dream to become Hokage. That would be ridiculous. Also I feel that Zeref is far more powerful than Rikudo Sennin. He literally created the Dragon of Apocalypse. While Rikudo is impressive, he has nothing over Zeref.
| Gordaime chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
| FireBallOfAmaterasu chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
Tch. Naruto x Konan for the win, and seems to be the best pairing here, in my opinion.
It would also fit perfectly with the 'I'll probably start going towards the pairing after Pain's invasion' part.
Another thing I wonder about... Hn...
What would happen... If a certain blond-haired buddy without Chakra, but Dark Magic instead...
...Were to try and transplant a pair of the Rinnegan eyes onto himself?
And how much potential I see in such a thing...! My, oh my! I'm literally salivating.
As for the story...
I don't feel like writing too much here. It's 21:00 here, and I'm seriously too tired to bother.
Well, don't see any problems with grammar, and pairing is not decided, so... not much to write about it.
Actually, my only suggestion is that you avoid making it a harem. And even if you DO make it a harem...
... Then PLEASE, PLEASE, don't use the CLICHE, OVERUSED and OVERRATED 'Clan Restoration Act' bullcrap.
I'm seriously getting sick of it. It really makes me puke to see amazing stories with amazing plotline and character development, being turned into junk simply because of such a freakishly abused shortcut when making a harem pairing.
I mean, the very idea that the main character has some awesome things that can only be used by people who are related to him(including descendants), and then the 'council'(another cliche and overused part that is almost ALWAYS done along with the whole CRA thing) suddenly decides to freaking breed the main character to 'strengthen the village'.
If a story is about a harem pairing, then my dear authors of this community, MAKE IT FUCKING ORIGINAL!
But I'm a merciful person, and I try to look at the entire story, instead of crying over single parts of it, so if the story is good... I'll ignore the cliche CRA bullshit and idiotic things such as this.
Okay. Rant over. Sorry for harsh words, but I had to get it out of my system.
The character development is nice as of yet, and there's still a lot of time to perfect it, so it's good for now. Though I'd really like to see Naruto become much more calm in the future, but then again, I'm here to rate and suggest, not to pressure the author into anything.
There are not enough chapters to say anything about the plot. Can't review something that doesn't even exist yet, now can I?
I'm probably going to post another review once the story reaches about five chapters, and write more than I did right now.
I just noticed...
...Did you know how your AN at the end of the chapters sounded?
'Oh, by the way. No, this will not be Yaoi (I fucking hate those) and there will be no pairing for long (and I mean, LOOOONG) time. I'll probably start going towards the pairing after Pain's invasion (If Nagato will still be alive, that is).'
That kinda makes it look like the pairing is going to be Naruto x Nagato... Creepy, buddy.
Great. I was supposed to write only a short review - only a few lines of text.
...And now my scrabbled eggs have been burnt.
Damn you, my brain, what the hell do you think you're doing?
| SanguineGravios chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
Pretty good plot, props on getting KistuneDragon to do a partial beta on this.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
Well, good opening for new story.. Update please
| TheViewer chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
Awesome start to a great story