|Reviews for What They Fear|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/10
oh, so Galadriel's in on the prank war, huh?
makes sense. she knows everything that happens in her land, and this is probably a good outlet.
| TheGrammarHawk chapter 2 . 11/5/2012
I swear, I must have been one of those nutty fangirls coming for... both of them, really. Maybe snag Frodo for one of my friends who is obsessed... Come here Leggy...
| TheGrammarHawk chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
Oh my God, this is hilarious! I especially love Legolas', Gimli's, and Boromir's fears!
| sassyfriend chapter 2 . 3/29/2012
Lol so funny!
| sassyfriend chapter 1 . 3/29/2012
LOL :D Just peachy so awesome a story! Love it
| 8I chapter 2 . 12/24/2010
So random, but also very funny! The bits with Gandalf and Galadriel were my favourites, and the fangirls were creepy...
| starkmaddness chapter 2 . 8/25/2010
GAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAH! That was simply an utter joy to read!
| Saikagrl chapter 2 . 4/26/2010
Sock puppets! Loved it, great comedy. Really, really happy I wasn't eating or drinking anything at the time b/c I did LOL!
| UltimateEvilLord1 chapter 2 . 2/16/2010
This is really funny! I laughed my head off! Enough said! Lololololololol!
| Rizalia chapter 2 . 9/20/2008
"There was that same voice again. There was something very familiar about the voice, but Aragorn couldn’t place it. He thought hard and took his best shot.
AHAHA! That possibly one of the best lines of fanfic I've ever read!
Good work - I'm off to read the sequel now. :)
| Ganheim chapter 2 . 4/12/2007
Part 1/2: The Fellowship Goes Round the Bend
who was screaming live someone being eaten alive.
[Typo/word confusion: should be ‘like’ instead of ‘live’.]
Sighing Sam grabbed the offensive animal and tossed it away to some bushes nearby.
[Missing comma after ‘sighing’.]
he intensified his message with a slight nod.
[This was a good close to Frodo’s actions, but you forgot to insert a paragraph break here to keep two characters’ dialogue and action from being mixed.]
Sam turned his glance quickly away from Frodo whose eyes were shooting daggers.
[This paragraph begins Frodo’s segment, and as such this would be much smoother if it were turned into more of a transition, a reaction of Sam’s which would open up Frodo’s _action_.]
Sam turned his glance away at Frodo’s withering gaze.
From their behind they heard almost hysterical roams of laughter
[It’s not often that people hear with their asses ‘from their behind’. If you had said ‘from behind them’ there wouldn’t have been any confusion.]
That was Aragorn.
[If you were writing from a first-person or strictly focused on one person third-person perspective, that would have been acceptable. However, this is supposed to act as a speech tag for Aragorn’s line, so change it a little to better transition from his line to his identification before his action.]
provided that elves are capable of looking such.
[The actors in the movies and the elf characters in Tolkien’s works are on numerous occasions described as looking ‘anxious’, so this line doesn’t add anything to the narrative, characters, or comedy. As such, I’d recommend deletion.]
I have foreseen that before your death Aragorn son of Arathorn kisses you.
[That’s not phobic so much as weird. No.]
and plague to that son of a -.
[Cheap attempt to imply profanity without specifically using it: 1/5.]
Aragorn went on his way to lend Gimli a hand or more precisely, a bow, in some serious porcupine-hunting.
[Mis-placement of punctuation.]
Aragorn went on his way to lend Gimli a hand, or more precisely, a bow in some serious porcupine hunting.
Part 2/2: Aftermath aka Payback in Elven Style
[Boromir was not deferring to death for surely some things are even more frightening.]
[First of all, you should avoid parenthetical expressions of any kind. This statement would fit as part of the narrative, so removing the square brackets would be sufficient, and reduce confusion since the square brackets are the most common means I know of for reviewers to insert comments. Secondly, you use “deferring” which roughly means ‘to voluntarily submit to, yield or give control over to’. What you should have stated was “referring”.]
He decided to go after hedgehogs and started surveying his surroundings enthusiastically.
[What an abundance of strange fauna in Middle Earth.]
Guess not, he answered his own question.
[Italicizing is typically used to identify direct thoughts, which is what should be done to “guess not”. After this sentence would also be the place to insert a paragraph break so you aren’t jumbling Aragorn’s stuff with Gimli’s.]
What a challenge,
[Italicize. Oh, and preceding this would be another good spot to insert a paragraph break.]
Aloud he said:
[A comma is more typically the separator used between a speech tag and its dialogue.]
Quadruple sounds more like it,
The wizard was somehow suspiciously transparent but it was Gandalf alright.
[‘alright’ is used as a slang affirmation, not so much as “certainly, surely” as you use here. I’d use one of those words instead.]
Let's not get into that.
[This implies that she said the words “icy silence”. Taking off the angled brackets would fix that misconception, unless you were intending it to be literally spoken, in which case you need to use a closing period. Actually, you need that anyway, decide whether she says it or it’s part of the narrative description.]
[Heard what? There was nothing to act as a catalyst or instigator of any sort for this sudden ‘I heard that’.]
I *saw* you die. "
[When creating an emphatic emphasis in a sentence, the typical method to identify it is to italicize that specific word. When many words need to be emphasized – and that is a tricky thing to get right, so most authors try to avoid it – in the case of many words they are fully capitalized instead of using italics, to avoid confusion with thought-formatting.]
"Only one Man besides you, that's the one you must befriend with."
[The ‘with’ is extraneous, ‘befriend’ roughly means “to cause bonds and/or feelings of friendship to grow”.]
No need to be hasty here, revenge is best fresh served,
[The saying goes “revenge is a dish best served cold”, and that seems to be the sense you intended to use here.]
An interesting parody, though I would have been more interested to hear what would have been in a more wholly Middle-Earth setting (minus the rabid fangirls reference, mainly). For a summary stating that the story was all about phobias of the fellowship, a case of arachnophobia was the only one I saw. I think it would have been more accurate to say ‘the fellowship plays jokes on each other’.
God bless and happy writing,
| occaecation chapter 2 . 2/1/2006
haha sock pupets and fan girls haha very good so funny I was eating chips while I was readig this i almost chocked it was so funny
| Team Sherlock and Watson chapter 2 . 12/16/2005
Evenstar necklas. $10. Kings sword $20. Aragorn freaking out at the sound of the word sock puppets, priceless. LOL!
| Team Sherlock and Watson chapter 1 . 12/16/2005
Horn of Gondor $100. Large shield $200. Boromir freaking out when Galadriel tells him that Aragorn will kiss him? Priceless! LOL!
| Daughter of the Night chapter 2 . 11/13/2004
NICE! I liked it!
"Sock puppets!" LOL!
Just asking- why is Estel so scared of sock puppets?