|Reviews for Rinne|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/9
If thought this was a kyoukai no rinne fanfic
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/6/2015
garbage. you suck.
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/6/2015
lol no! naruto crew rapes ranma in five second super more when ramna in weak only good for wanking redhead. ur a garbage writer. lol i just skip around saying all ur fics shit now. enhoy spam :)
| beserkerbeast chapter 2 . 4/16/2015
love to see more
| Error4North chapter 2 . 1/16/2015
Interesting beginning, well written and fun. Good work.
| erching chapter 2 . 1/15/2015
hope you aren't done
| Ntraveler chapter 2 . 11/22/2014
| Shinzochi chapter 2 . 10/15/2014
i like this story a lot and i am looking forward to reading more and i like him being on a different team than team 7 which is what the majority of stories have with a few others having him on different teams or with his own team or on his own
| Bobboky chapter 2 . 10/3/2014
Very nice work
| lector caecus chapter 2 . 10/2/2014
Having instilled a burning hatred of Konoha in Ranma already, I think that that leaving him alive to walk around and plot bloody vengeance without at least a caged bird seal or equivalent would exceed even the third Hokage's capacity for limp-dicked idiocy. Since they wouldn't even have to tell him about the seal(s), I'm really hoping they're there.
Excepting the possible impotency of the Hokage, this seems to be between "Her War" and "The Strength of a Horse" in terms of the hopeless grim darkness of Ranma's circumstances. Hopefully it will stand with them in quality too...
| killersoda57 chapter 2 . 9/3/2014
Interesring story i hope to see more of it soon, but i have only one question, is ranma ranma when he's in male form and them part kyuubi when she's a girl or part kyuubi all the time?
| wolf-in-hell chapter 2 . 8/26/2014
More than a year between updates! The horror and torment of time! Be merciful, and grant us new chapters more often! Please?
| FireInLife chapter 2 . 8/25/2014
Whaaaat! I didn't follow or favorite this story yet? Fanfiction must have messed up, I swear. Anyways, this review will be for both chapter 1 and chapter 2.
CHAPTER 1 REVIEW:
"His shoulders stiffened imperceptibly to the remark about his strange eye color." - Oh? Red eyes was a surprise, and I wonder what the backstory is behind them if Ranma is sensitive about them. I suppose it could be because they're a bit abnormal, but it doesn't seem like Ranma's character to be sensitive about them.
Just realized that Kaede is more than just a random stranger to Ranma. That she's actually been watching Ranma for a while, and pretended not to know him at the tournament. That is, if I'm reading those subtle-but-not-really clues correctly.
When Ranma was waking up from Kaede's technique, you pretty much restated the sentence from the previous section. Perhaps it was on purpose, but they're quite similar, and it read weirdly for me.
"...the last thing Ranma saw was Kaede...watching impassively as the world appeared to melt away."
"...the last thing she remembered was Kaede watching impassively as the world vanished around her."
Inari shrine...A quick google search, and it's a shrine for the worship of Inari (duh), a kami of foxes. As if it wasn't clear already, this story will be based heavily around the idea of kitsunes. I'm interested to see what Ranma's involvement with them is (and hopefully nothing so plain like his great great grandmother was a kitsune or something ._.)
'A Fox Among the Leaves', I recall you made a picture with the same name, which was based on one of your deleted stories 'A Mistake in Sealing'. Any connection between the two? Also, is there any chance of putting that story up somewhere? I wanted to look at it, even if it won't be continued. (Edit: Realized it was sort of a side story when I finished chapter 2. I'd still like to read 'A Mistake in Sealing' though :p)
An enjoyable chapter overall. I thought it had a slow pace, despite how fast events occur, but that's fine.
CHAPTER 2 REVIEW:
I always found it interesting how Ranma has such seductive poses while sleeping as a girl, but is sprawled out across the floor when sleeping as a guy. You're the first person whose actually made note of that fact in a story :p
"Naruto giggled absently in a moment of remembrance at how hot she had been." - Oh Naruto, already acting like Jiraiya before you even meet him, for shame. But really, I always thought of Naruto as far more innocent than perverted (at least until after the time skip). It has been years since I saw the start of Naruto, but was he really like this back then? o.o
Speaking of Naruto's character, why is it that he is treating the 'Kyuubi in his bed' situation so light heartedly? At this point, I thought Naruto was quite terrified of Kyuubi. Seems strange to me that his first reaction was to raise an eyebrow and whine about his attraction to it.
"...stopped to inspect one of the books to see it labeled Genma stealing food." - Was it labeled that, or did it depict that? If it was labeled that, I think it was meant to be 'Genma Stealing Food'.
If I hadn't known that Inoichi was a guy who was calm under pressure, I'd have found his reaction really strange. As it is, outright ignoring Ranma seems like the wrong action to take. He is suddenly dropped an unknown situation after all, it doesn't seem wise to ignore the 'Kyuubi' who did what should be impossible (at least, impossible was my first assumption - I suppose it could merely be an uncommon event, in which case you should clarify that).
"'Stop it!' She screamed more desperately, trying to grab his hands." - Oooh, this is interesting. Since Ranma freely admits the curse later on, I wonder just what happened at Jusenkyo to change things.
"...due to the intense pain of her shoulder popping back into place." - First, you'd think Ranma would deal with a dislocated shoulder on a daily basis; describing the pain as intense seems too exaggerated to me. Secondly, Sarutobi said they shouldn't reset the dislocated shoulder. It's implied that they'd wait until Ranma is chained down until resetting just in case 'she' wakes up, but I didn't realize that at first. Basically, it seemed like Sarutobi's decision was contradicted after a mere two scenes. Both are minor details that I doubt many would notice, but I figured I'd point it out anyways.
"Another chain around her neck went down to her waist before connecting to the floor." - I had trouble visualizing that. Was it like two connected loops around Ranma's body, both of which connected to the floor? The next sentence was also confusing: "...a circle made out of strange glyphs, from eight points more glyphs spiraled out..." It took me a while to realize what it was describing.
It's nice to see a good way of going about certain common scenes. Ranma discovering he's in another world was mostly skipped over, which I appreciated. Ranma not somehow learning the breaking point technique to break out is also nice to see.
"Sarutobi remembered the the bijuu had been..." - Probably should have been 'that the' instead of 'the the'.
"'You're not going to try some stupid hey I'm a girl, you can trust me, kind of crap are you?" - There was a little trouble reading this part. If there were apostrophe marks around 'hey I'm a girl...', I think it'd be a lot easier to read (or perhaps fanfiction removed them when uploading?).
"...provide you with rudimentary training materials..." - It surprised me that they added that as an offer to appease Ranma, but then I realized that Inoichi HAD been rooting inside Ranma's head for a while. This could be the only story in which they actually use the information they received for manipulation. Kudos to you on that.
I'm surprised that Ranma doesn't recognize the hand seals that Ibiki makes. Mudra (what Naruto hand seals are based on) do have some connection to martial arts after all. It wouldn't be odd to find that Ranma has learned about them at some point in his training, since they're a part of the oldest martial arts schools in Japan.
"...I could have sold it to my old man for a fortune." - Ranma has a strange idea of a fortune if he thinks he can get it from Genma. He could get, what, 2000 yen at most? :P
"I just asked Inari-sama." - Oh? So Inari will play an actual part in this story. Should be interesting.
You'd think that they'd tell Naruto what happened with Ranma, or at least some cover story. After all, it wouldn't be good for Naruto to see Ranma in public and make a scene (and probably blowing his cover story).
It's nice to finally read the second chapter. I read the first few parts of it on fukufics some time back, but didn't keep up to date with it. This story is growing more interesting and mysterious. I look forward to reading the next chapter :D
This review ended up being a lot longer than expected, so it's fine if your response (if you do respond) is short. Anyways, thanks for writing!
| languid reader chapter 2 . 8/24/2014
kinda disappointed. i'd really hoped that for once ranma wouldn't be incredibly stupid or weak in front of ninja.
seems every freaking story ranma never gets serious until it's always way to late, then he ends up captured and spills the beans and then integrates into konoha somehow. no revenge, no nothen'.
aside from being vaguely original, story so far has been kinda. eh.
| fellow chapter 2 . 8/23/2014