Reviews for the after math
Jody Barsch chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
Hi HarlowJames, Congrats on what looks to be your first publication. It really needs to be edited. Not sure I buy Angela going to Rayanne under those circumstances, at least not without more development. Is Angela over-reacting? And is Patty also"? And doesn't Brian already know she knows? He told her as much in the street. I'm not sure I buy Angela deeming Brian a 'weirdo' for the letter - at the end of the episode it almost looks as though she would have been open to a kiss . (I certainly don;t see her saying "balls", leastways not in that context.)
Few other things: Jordan isn't blonde, Rayanne is one word, and there was a lot of use of "Ang" in such a short piece for it never once being used in any of the 19 episodes.
Revise and develop further - good luck :)