Thank you for this ridiculously enjoyable gem! I thoroughly laughed my ass off and am super glad you stepped outside your comfort zone. I appreciate the non standard lemons so much more than what most people like to read.
I'm sorry you had some reviewers who made this an unpleasant experience, but I hope those bad apples are the exception for writers and not the norm.
Kudos!

I need a tissue, damn it!

If Charlie is military, it's possible he didn't know about Bella. He could have been deployed shortly after she was conceived and maybe Renee didn't know how to contact him. So many possibilities...

Nothing wrong with anal when it's with the right person. Makes all the difference! :). You did a great job with it.
Will Edward start playing some of his songs for her?

Someone HAD to have heard them. My guess would be Jasper.

'Still, gritting my teeth behind the wheel of my inherited Volvo,'...
So...I'm guessing that the Volvo was his mother's car and he drives it to feel close to her?

Rut roh!

'"Yeah, well, it was fifty-two degrees and pouring rain here in Forks yesterday. Myrtle Beach is a tropical paradise in comparison," I mutter.'
Woo Hoo! I'm a Myrtle Beach girl! It's so nice to walk the beach on Christmas and New Years as opposed to the blizzards I endured growing up. :) I definitely get it!
And Cooch...she deserves her own POV!

Oh SNAP!

It's a non-stop giggle fest reading this story!
'Bella, if he tells you to 'put the lotion in the basket,' don't argue with the man. Just do it. -Mama-'
Genius!

This has been on my TBR list forever; ever since RobAttack recc'd it years ago! I'm glad I finally got around to it!

'"We must claim her as our own," I conspire, standing and making my way across the grass.'. *gigglesnorts* Loved that!

Having grown up in NY, lived in NJ, and then migrated to SC; I can relate to the girls. However... I have never been a fan of country music! :)

Okkka.. this was not the final I was expecting but it's OK.. xD it's nice to know everything worked out in the end!

Wooow.. I can't believe I have postponed so much time this chapter.. this was a really clarifying one! Thanks a lot for the story.. and thanks for allowing the translation! I found it in Spanish first! Gracias!

:) great

This was such a good story!