|Reviews for The Unforeseen Variable|
| UNLIMITED FAN WORKS chapter 2 . 12/9
Ok I am sorry ,but last chapter the story started out great. However is the very second paragraph you said that he only studied ancient runes briefly... after 140 years, after he occupied himself in his studies when he had secluded himself... that was only your first screw up.
| Hexenbiest chapter 1 . 11/26
The thing I never really understood was the number of students that Hogwarts taught in a single year.
How can the school teach a thousand students at a time when each school-year only introduces 32-40 first years? 8-10 Gryffindors, 8-10 Hufflepuffs, 8-10 Ravenclaws, 8-10 Slytherins.
That's 224-280 students (first through seventh) at a time.
As you can probably tell, nowhere near a thousand.
Enjoying your writing btw! On to the next chapter.
| LuluViBritania chapter 2 . 11/25
It his looks to be interesting but i really hope you have not removed his ability to apparate or make portkeys.
| Sefera chapter 31 . 9/4
Well, I enjoyed the story all the same. I will be favoriting it, just incase I ever want to reread it. Just thought you'd like to know.
| StrengthAndHonour chapter 31 . 8/1
Well fuck you, too
| Guest chapter 9 . 6/29
"Just before they started out of Windhelm he had remembered to investigate a Word Wall rumour in the area, leaving Siva asleep in the inn after he carried her back to her bed he quickly made his way to Bonestrewn Crest, a small hillock in the middle of an area of hot springs and foul, sulphur filled air, Harald had hated it but made his way up the path to the top of the Crest, he went through the normal affair of standing in front of the Wall and absorbing the light, through his new but limited understanding of the Dragon Language he read that the Wall had been set up in praise of 'Bard Lunerio', but he could make nothing more of it. "
Holy run-on sentence, Batman!
| Mordiadies chapter 2 . 6/27
simianpower the baslisk part was a comparison and he used the generics witch because of his very long life he got to know alot about
| Simianpower chapter 4 . 5/28
So, this is a story about Harald the Viking (Nord), not Harry Potter. Bored now. I'm out.
| Simianpower chapter 2 . 5/28
This chapter makes very little internal sense. First you say that Harry doesn't know enough biology to build himself a body, but that
"his cells do". He substitutes someone else's cells, but whatever, his soul will (somehow) make the body conform. Then he goes in and modifies the body to upgrade it in all sorts of ways despite explicitly NOT knowing enough to do so. Then he's immune to poison because of his basilisk encounter, even though that wasn't this body. He has a full set of armor, then he doesn't. And somehow he's strong enough to "shatter boulders".
I get that there's a bit of handwaving at the start of every fanfiction, but this chapter was really bad. I hope things get better from here!
| Macilnar chapter 5 . 4/12
I know this is cancelled but I can't help but point out that Patroni, or at least a variant of them, can be used to send verbal messages.
| Viking Biking chapter 1 . 3/27
I am looking forward to the full TES strory.
| automaton14 chapter 14 . 2/22
I feel like Harry is losing himself. Like he doesn't know who he is anymore.
| Linda chapter 31 . 2/21
This story was trash anyway. It was constant boring Viking bullshit that completely uninteresting. You wasted the interest built from the "cross over" by making Harry not at all Harry almost immediately at the start of the story. Not enough of the original character carried over into Skyrim and he was mostly just a boring, grouchy OC that did boring, slow-moving Viking crap.
How many words were wasted on an invasion that had the sole purpose of giving Harry the ability to apparate again, only to completely gloss over it and have him apparate once after the more interesting part (creating some kind of dimension to allow for the teleportation in the first place) happened off-screen with no details offered.
The dragon stuff where he lost the Hallows to some sentient dragon facet of himself was also really poorly done and tiresome. I don't believe for a second that Harry, who comes from a culture that has possession and mind reading, wouldn't have been able to bring that part of himself to heel and assimilate it properly.
Honestly, I don't know why I kept reading this story. I thought maybe it would get past the monotonous garbage of Viking and political nonsense that might have been necessary at the start of the story and actually get into more fun to read plot lines that benefited from Harry being a powerful, well-learned wizard from another world... but it never happened. The closest was the small battle against the Daedra where half of it was spent in the mind of that boring elf girl who wanted to try playing manipulative seductress (but constantly failed) and was... maybe enthralled by his power? Or turned off by it? It wasn't at all clear because you, the writer, kept rambling and contradicting yourself.
Sadly, that invasion was probably also the closest thing to an interesting event happening in this story. And yet, it was boring and felt rushed. The story was slow and boring, yet it felt rushed and poorly planned.
Remaking this story as solely a TES story would remove the small fragment of anything remotely interesting. It would be a pointless endeavor. Why would I want to read that story when I can just play Skyrim? Why would anyone?
I guess it's a good thing that you've basically abandoned writing, because you were not very good at it. You spent far too much time focused on uninteresting minutiae instead of focusing on what people actually wanted to read: Harry Potter, Master of Death, in Skyrim
| automaton14 chapter 10 . 2/21
LOL at the the random junk getting in his inventory
| ArtimuosJackson chapter 1 . 1/31
Wow not just this Harry potter is second coming of Voldemort but a real bastard too which means total OC