|Reviews for The Unforeseen Variable|
| A fan chapter 31 . 10/20
Not to sound like an ungrateful prick, but i wanted to know if you were ever going to get to writing the UV mk.2, because it sure sounds like it would be fucking awesome (UV minus harry potter perfection), and i'd rather know if I should still wait for it, or if it's not going to happen, please :P
As for feedback, I'd say that definitely the best parts about UV were how you weren't afraid of going outside of Skyrim's time frame, and presented lore, and also the parts involving economy and politics and stuff.
The worst parts IMO were the Harry Potter parts, which seems to be a view you share, so it would indeed be a great idea to write a new UV without all the HP forced in, because honestly, HP is way too silly and childish to fit in well with TES.
Anyway, I certainly hope you'll continue writing the TES fic someday in the future, and thank you for writing UV :)
| goodpie2 chapter 2 . 9/24
Interesting concept. It's a shame you made him the Dragonborn. It would have been much more interesting without that. But I still like it.
The writing quality needs a little work. The style seems a little forced, somehow, and sometimes doesn't flow properly. Also, you don't use conjunctions enough.
| Guest chapter 31 . 9/5
:( You still did fairly well, I've read worse.
| Guest chapter 31 . 8/24
you are evil
| NarutoSpardaUzumaki chapter 1 . 8/20
I admit I never read past the first few chapters because I found your writing too long for my tastes ( there aren't that many dialogues in the beginning ) but I often find myself rereading the first chapter. It is very well built and offers an alternate explanation for the whole Maste of Death debacle and all that. The Nuclear War and the extinction of the Wizarding Race is also a new topic very rarely seen, one such case is 'Xerosis', and it is an enjoyable read in and of itself.
| AnthonyR89 chapter 31 . 6/11
finally got around to checking this out after getting the update notice in my email. kind of disappointed that you're abandoning it, but oh well. hope you start posting the elder scrolls story you mentioned soon.
| moosejuice5 chapter 31 . 5/31
It's dead, shame. This fic did have a few problems but I liked it, thanks
| Covante chapter 26 . 5/27
Rubies and Sapphires are both Corundum (Aluminium Dioxide - A2O3) the difference is in the trace elements that affect the colouring. Emerald is a poor source of Vanadium because only a small portion of the brightest green Emeralds are coloured by Vanadium, the vast majority of Emeralds are coloured by Chromium. In most of the world (everywhere not in the US, where lab grown Beryls are coloured with Vanadium instead of Chromium beacuse of the brighter green that Vanadium provides; or Colombia, the only location where they are mined) Vanadium Emeralds are considered 'Green Beryls' and only Chromium coloured Beryls can be called Emeralds. That's really just a snobbish thing, the base mineral of Beryl is the exact same, the Chromium or Vanadium just being trace elements and the only reason nobody wants to consider them Emeralds is that basically none are produced anywhere outside those two countries and they are of superior colour quality to the prevalent Chromium variety. A couple of good and easily found sources of Vanadium would be the fruiting bodies of mushrooms, particularly those of toxic/psychotropic mushrooms, and deposits of oil/coal, particularly those deposits of a marine origin. (More than twice as much Vanadium is dispersed into the atmosphere annually during the burning of fossil fuels, nearly 140,000 tons, as is mined and extracted/refined from ore for commercial/industrial use, about 60,000 tons.)
I don't know if you care about these minor factual accuracy things, if you do though I'm pretty sure your alloy composition for that stainless steel knife was wonky too. It had 0% Carbon in it for one thing (it shouldn't have much but it would likely be in the 0.1 - 1% range, for something with a blade it would be towards the higher end, for something more like a razor/scalpel than a knife up to or even above 2%) and not nearly enough Chromium compared to what you'd espect to see in a tool like a knife which would suffer wear, you need 15% Chromium to not have your scratches turning into rust pitting. Stainless steel also makes for a crappy, soft blade so the Nords would probably have no interest in using it for anything other than tableware or hunting knives maybe, definitely not suitable for any armour or weapons. Which kind of brings up the question of where did he even get the knife he put in the analyser machine? Did he make it with the Eye of Magnus or something?
| DeadParade chapter 28 . 5/17
| Covante chapter 13 . 5/10
The Gray-Manes and the Gray Fox with his Gray Cowl of Nocturnal are the only times I can remember it being spelled with an a, there are the Grey-Beards, the Grey Mare (Chorrol Inn), Grey Throat the Argonian and a bunch of misc. items with Grey in their name from various games. Standardised spelling was something which wasn't really seen in any language which the Bible hadn't yet been translated into in Medieval Europe. Which basically meant that everything other than Latin was a free for all, sometimes you wouldn't even get a word spelled consistently over the course of a sentence. You can't even imagine how hard that crap would be for yoo to read, can yew? Well, maybe now yue can start tew sea how dif ficklet it kan bee and that is beef ore evein hereing abowt the lack of a standerdiezd alfubet.
Okay that's enough of that. Fun trivia point, you know how you see some shops with titles like 'Ye olde bakery' or whatever? 'Ye' is meant to be pronounced exactly like 'the' and the reason it was spelled like that is because the letter þ (runic letter 'thorn') in cursive looked pretty close to a y in cursive and the alphabet included in the lettering blocks of a German made printing press didn't contain the letter þ so they would just use y instead until the adoption of the 'th' to replace þ with the formal standardisation of the English aplphabet after the printing of the King James version. (which used a stylized y) This was the penultimate modification before the current standardisation of English arrived with the dropping of ſ (which was used where we would put a lowercase s appearing as any letter in any position within a word except the last, e.g. 'ſaſſy ladies fought for women's ſuffrage' or 'I ſtill always confuſe the ſtupid things for an f.'
| Warden of Lore chapter 26 . 5/5
I caught that star wars reference right there. LoL
| Covante chapter 31 . 5/2
Harry Potter is something people believed was good until they are told how shitty it was and then they wonder how they hadn't realised as they were reading it and enjoying it what an utter bastard Dumbledore is or how Harry is the most pathetically apathetic antihero with a possible Oedipus complex ever to exist. (I'd say he kicked Shinji Ikari in the teeth and stole his crown but it seems more likely that was happened was Shinji left it on the ground someplace and wandered off to play his cello or awkwardly tell Rei how good of a mum he thinks she would be, possibly with a stop at Asuka's hospital room for a quick wank over her comatose form then Harry is made aware of its location by some sort of dream vision or some other equally well established and proven reliable method of information gathering, possibly an unknown and eerily silent entity acting as a guide which wants Harry to follow it at which point Hermione starts working up a plan to retrieve this crown Harry suddenly inexplicably knows the location of, meanwhile Harry has already, literally, run off after the stupid thing because when you believe something is necessary and you're in a hurry using any of the various methods of magic by which instantaneous travel is possible is just not the done thing, that would be highly improper not to mention it would ruin the dramatic tension you have spent countless diligent hours not learning how to build, Harry arrives at the crown and poutily stares at it for about a day and a half while Hermione hastily mounts a rescue mission and chases after him only to arrive just in time to see Harry kicking the crown against a wall and is unable to do more than stare incredulously as the crown rebounds off the wall and lands itself firmly on the stunned boy's head. All hail the new king of the stubborn petulant children with mommy issues and an old man who is manipulating every detail of their life from foisting them off on an unloving aunt and uncle at a young age to controlling their development as a singularly capable hero while they sit in a room watching and distributing the rare pat on the head for saving the world from a horrifying threat but never giving them any answers to the questions they try to ask or any real shows of affection as part of an absurdly ornate conspiracy to mould them into someone who will willingly martyr themselves. Well, that ended up being more specific than I thought it would... Long live the King?) The thing is though that the world of Harry Potter, while blatantly fantastical and nonsensical in many obvious ways, has enough points of similarity with how the real world around us works, enough recognisable parallels for us that it is actually very easily relatable despite being a fantasy series. That is the greatest quality of its writing and where the greatest artistic skill put into its creation can be clearly evinced, in that ease of relatability it engenders in the reader. The Pevensie children and Bagginses were engaged in far more finely crafted stories than Harry Potter but it's much easier for a child to see themselves as Harry Potter, just a normal schoolchild who tries to be good and wants people to like him but has trouble finding where he fits in and finding people who are willing to be genuine with him and don't make it their personal mission to make him feel like an awkward outcast. He has the weight of the world dropped on his shoulders repeatedly but that isn't his only or, most of the time, main concern in life. Despite being just a normal boy (for a wizard at least) he proves himself to be as incorruptible and resolute as Aslan, as steadfast and filled with unfathomable determination as Frodo and as worthy of a choice for who to place the fate of the world in the hands of as anyone else before or since. That's the real magic of Harry Potter, it's nothing to do with wands and everything to do with spirit. The spirit of a boy of unremarkable talent who has the gauntlet laid before him, the mantle thrown upon him and by sheer force of will alone walks across the finish with fewer scars than when he started.
| Infernus est in animo chapter 31 . 5/2
I understand your reasoning and accept it, not necessarily like but accept.
Thats for the ride I will now be getting off, I have about a week and a bits reading to catch up on.
Was any of what you said a SAO abridged reference?
| SonOfNenji chapter 15 . 4/28
Spooked at the end of this. Decided to check reviews to see if I was over-reacting. Apparently I wasn't, really. It gets worse.
I'll get back to you.
| Infernus est in animo chapter 1 . 4/26
I just had an "ohhhh is that what that means" for the possibility of the "AK" just being the end phrase for an incredibly powerful soul based spell and that the standard version is just a "weak" kill, sort of like using a Kido or Jutsu without the full incantation and hand signs respectively