|Reviews for If Only Tonight We Could Sleep|
| Gray lines chapter 1 . 12/14/2017
I know I read and left a review only a few months ago but I had to come back again. I can't get over how emotionally fragile this makes me feel. the adrenaline and sheer cuteness at some parts have me torn constantly between emotions. the final chase scene gives me goosebumps no matter how many times I read and geek soul is literally the love of my life. I want to find and Mary this boy. blackstar is so sarcastic and annoying and his taste in musical explosions leaves me wishing for the brother I always asked of my mom for Christmas. barber always makes me cry. its not often we find a kindred soul and when we do they are always gone too soon. all the Greek mythology makes my inner history buff so proud of this generation. hopefully we aren't a lost cause. bad ass tsubaki is what's been missing from my life and again anime nerd soul has stolen my heart. I want to know more about computers and tech just to really understand what your trying to describe. tang and beans is literally the worst diet I have ever heard of. nerd smirks and half hearted innuendos make me smile every time I think about them. the sex was tasteful and fitting with the story. the science excitements made me curious. maka's scattered curiosity and poetic train of thought speaks to me mind a little to intimately. overall I just feel violated by this whole story. you've ripped me open with this beautiful heart wrenching nerve racking story and I know its a couple years old and you probably don't even read the reviews anymore but I'm so glad this exists. I'm a better person for reading it.
| HuaFeiHua chapter 4 . 9/4/2017
Dude….. So many feels from the reuniting of kilik and the twins. I literally awwwwed out loud and for like a full two seconds my cold was cured like wow that was so cute.
I find the portrayal of a post-developed tsubaki fascinating. Esp bc we're so used to seeing her as the loving, wonderful momfriend. To see her as the stiff, even cold person she rather is in this fic is fascinating, esp when you mention she was abandoned in The Chapel. Which I'm unsure of what that is but I'm assuming that's either alluding to being left at the altar, or he left her to die there during a previous raid. Idk I went on ao3 to see if this was up there bc it's easier for me to commentate as I read there and see if I used up my characters and then I found the prequel as written by someone else so I guess I'll find out then.
But back to the whole 'post-character-development tsubaki' thing. We can still see her softer side, like when she taught maka to use a menstrual cup, but like. Idk tsubaki doesn't change a whole lot in the canon. This good.
"sharpen your butter knife" okay but like when I was in middle school I got in huge trouble for bringing one of those dull butter knives to school that can do literally nothing but butter bread bc they're so dull bc "I brought a weapon to school oh no time to Confiscate" and like. Wild.
"there is fire in her blood" dude I love the theme of fire in this fic and how it incorporates all the different… ideas? I suppose of fire. Representative of spirit/heart, the prometheus/overall greek myth motif (I was thinking about the claire/castor thing a while back bc I know where castor came from but claire…?), a cure. Like. Things. That I'm not eloquent enough to describe. That I'm sure you know about bc this is your writing after all but I SEE IT and I want you to know I appreciate it.
Oh hey 'the chapel' gets explained a bit more later anyway. Nice
I'm halfway through the chapter and it's half passed midnight and I just read the line that said something along the lines of "she'd much prefer to keep most of her blood inside her" and now, thinking about all the reviews of everyone crying at the end I was hit with the sudden idea that perhaps as an actual parallel, soul jumps before maka to save her from some near-lethal cut, and to that I say in a rather horrified voice, "/I hope not./"
Since we've had pretty much zero mention of crona in this fic when more or less everyone else has either made a cameo or has been confirmed dead, I'm going to go with my initial hunch that the old crone was supposed to be crona in some form despite the fact that the old crone had been a little old grandma in this au. Hmm.
"but rather than a fountain of pink lemonade, it's full concentrate, and it's spewing from soul's chest" OHHHHH MY GOOOOOODDDD OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOODDDD this is the exact line that made my tired eyes widen and my jaw drop like OHHHH NOOO OHH NO OH NO OH NO I'M NOT SURE IF I WANNA KEEP GOING BECAUSE WHAAAAT THE HEEECKKK
The fact that it's from shoulder to hip does validate my initial prediction that it'll parallel his injury from early on in the series but DAMMIT I didn't wanna be right here D: like here have a glass of my tears I know you'll enjoy them bc that's just what authors do
Oh now crona shows up. I retract my original decision that the old crone was crona.
As horrified as I am "eat legend, bitches" got a snort out of me
Dear god listening to feelsy anime music was a Mistake when reading this oh my god noooooo nooooooo noooooooo
*crying* no maka you can make it out of this tree you don't have to say your final goodbyes you're just embarrassing yourself when you find out everyone's got them recorded and they look at you later like "really? /really?/"
Dude. Dude dude dude dude dude dude dude dude DUUUUUDEEEE. "at the bottom of pandora's urn is 'maka'." DUUUUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE I HAVE NO WORDS JUST "DUDE"
I legit thought maka blew herself up there like FOR REAL I was like "this is it. This is why everyone goes wild at the end of this fic." but nope it's just a bomb full of her undiluted blood.
Whoop and soul ended up being the true weapon all along. Nice.
Judging off black star's hair, I'd say she was in a coma for about a month to six weeks so I find it pretty interesting that they managed to clean up the place they deemed irredeemable in that short span of time.
Also MAN that ending. So good. So good. I'm so glad all that mess of about a year of apocalypse ended with a happy new gen on the way and rap sonnets because man rap sonnets are exactly what shakespeare would have wanted nevermind if he invented sonnets or not.
Wow this was WILD I LOVED it. I'm pretty tired right now but I'm so glad I finished this up tonight. Ahh so good. Def fave.
Superb work! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
| HuaFeiHua chapter 3 . 9/3/2017
(this might end up being a two parter so if another review comes in fifteen minutes or so you know what happened. but i think i was once told you can't leave two reviews on the same chapter so we'll see)
I needed some Calm Down Time after getting super frustrated from getting the answer to a chem problem that I'd been agonizing over for hours so. Here I am. Because your writing style is good, quiet, and calming to munch on. Munch munch.
"just wait, one of these days I'll save you instead." wow another one of those lines that, if said from the other person, would have paralleled canon, in this case being maka's desire to become stronger and protect soul after he risked her life to save her. Which he also did in this case. But he's saying the line of saving and like. Stuff. But like. Interesting. If you think about it, if lines in fic can parallel canon, this one perpendiculars it. Eyyy.
"we have beans. And we have beans." the most realistic about being around halfway into the zombie apocalypse: the fact that still no one wants to eat canned beans, hence why they're the only ones left to eat.
"now her lips are always stained a different color." replacement lipstick in the apocalypse appears to be tang. Hey at least it tastes okay. I hope. I did a molarity experiment using orange tang in chem class last year. I wasn't aware there were other flavors of tang. Hmm.
This fic has a lot of perpendiculars. I like that. Like maka fixing her hair like tsugumi rather than vice versa, though the reasoning is different this time. Man, I don't see fics with perpendiculars often. This is refreshing.
I'm glad the "lingering effects are mostly cosmetic" line turned into a period joke. People don't deal with periods a lot in fiction. I also like the little detail of no periods since the end of the world. It implies that she's becoming calmer, more well-adjusted and well-fed, and overall less stressed. That's good, esp during the zombie apocalypse.
I wonder how black star managed to dye his hair with the water rations and stringent shower times. It takes a /lot/ of water to rinse dye out of even a little bit of your hair to the point where you don't obviously stain everything your hair or the water dripping off of it touches.
"and I want to dissect an extra terrestrial. We don't always get what we want." made me laugh bc when I was younger I used to go to a competition called history day and it had people dressed up in period clothing and this one dude was a blacksmith and he always said stuff like that when we asked him to make certain things for us. Made me laugh, both at the line and the memory.
*SOFTLY GASPS* fire seeds being the original zombie death prescription…. Plus the wings of stolen fire of last chapter… plus the prometheus thing… … … … I see you're doing things here hehehehehe. A fire motif huh. And with fire often being a metaphor/symbol for someone's will to fight/spirit/life force there's definitely something meta going on here. Fire can also be seen as a sign of rebirth bc some plants need fire for their seeds to grow and also PHOENIX? ? ? Perhaps. Rising from the ashes… of… a… society… … … ….. How far does this fire rabbithole go. Probably more than I realize haha.
"what sprouts when you sow a fire seed?" I'd actually put that under either a miracle, as like. A biblical reference of such. Or a phoenix, since they're birds of fire. Even if they do technically rise from ashes. What's fascinating is that seeds tend to be more for the start of a new life, whereas fire tends to showcase the end bc burning, so a fire seed is a bit of an oxymoron. Or something diff bc like I said fire can also symbolize rebirth. Hmm.
I love how "I wouldn't puke for the WHOLE EVENING" is both an inside joke and something that's seen as romantic in this fic. And that the fact that he used to puke a lot is an inside joke.
24 keys is actually not that bad for a paper piano; it's a little over a quarter of a regular one. But of course once you get good you need more than three octaves but eh. "his hand is much larger than hers" reminds me of how the other day, I asked my friend, who's taking piano as one of her electives, what interval she could reach on the piano, and she could just barely reach a seventh, so I laughed and played a ninth, then a two octave scale and now she calls me piano senpai. I didn't play piano for particularly long but apparently long enough to have more pianist fingers.
So I know the line "the moment she heard a gun go off was when she stopped hearing music" is supposed to in hand with the whole playing piano thing but I couldn't help but think of the idiom "it's time to face the music" because like. Movies and theme songs playing at the climax of a character's arc and stuff. Spirit killing himself was a climactic point of maka's life, and the second he died, it was over. The music was over. But going off this, perhaps is the piano playing foreshadowing of something major to come? (technically probably no because we've yet to reach the story's climax so ofc they still have to "face the music" but eyyy meta)
took me a sec to realize that shuttaz was a reference to the sunglasses: they're like little eye shutters.
overall for this chapter, you were right. it was quite the doozy. i'm a little frightened for next chapter bc a lot of reviews were like "im crying omg" so like. what lies in store idk. i recorded most of my thoughts as i read it so i'm at a bit of a loss at what to say for this chapter other than that it was GREAT! ! ! as usual, i've come to note. GREAT WORK! ! ! ! ! ! !
| Rrit chapter 4 . 9/2/2017
Wow this fic is so amazing. The characterizations are on point! I wish this was an actual novel. When I first read it, I took "fat" literally but I like the twist with the kid, heh.
| HuaFeiHua chapter 2 . 9/2/2017
OH i just realized now that the tbc at the end means "to be continued". that's cute.
so pretty early on into the chapter i had this thought about the old crone and how there's that sleep paralysis thing w/the old hag at the end of your bed and i was wondering if the old crone was meant to parallel that? since she followed maka around no matter what she did, looked, or smelled like. idk.
i find it interesting that soul calls maka the weapon in this au bc well. obvs the meister/weapon thing of se in general.
i love the appearance of liz and patty and how wild they are. i do love the appearance of them pre-development and still rather thuggish.
also i'm not sure what the deal is w/black star refrigerating his monster? like does it taste better lukewarm to most people? i've never had monster... but i do like that he has a prosthetic leg. considering all the jumping around and impulsive crap he does on a half-baked whim, i'm not surprised that he lost it. or that it sings the zelda theme and refrigerates monster at the same time.
also dat reunion between soul and maka that was the uh 111111/10 way too cute for meeee i loved itttt. i really enjoy this fic in general actually. mmmmmm i like the grim dark and how you sell the apocalypse thing. and how it's been a significant(ish) span of time since the original outburst.
i liked the line "wings of stolen fire". not only is it a very pretty piece of imagery, it's a good reference to the grigori soul, and with the prometheus thing going on, i'm pretty sure that... well i can't really eloquently state it but like. know i can see the thing going on there and am making extremely excited hand gestures. well. she's taken something that only the gods have and given it to mortals, in this case her blood rather than fire, and i get the feeling she might have to pay for it later. i'm just throwing stuff out there but maybe kid has something to do with it too? since he's a shinigami (though i guess not in this au) and like stuff.
anyway great work! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
| HuaFeiHua chapter 1 . 9/1/2017
qawrzesxtdcfgvhbjkktjrthgfgnrtydgfb. lots of screaming rn. internally. but it's quiet internal screaming. because i'm in awe. like WOOOOAAAAH my goodness i haven't read a good zombie au in so long and this is great and gritty and these are interesting zombies.
i liked how at the end maka's waking life transitioned into a dream. at least i hope it did. i'd be very disturbed if she started calling the old crone gran again. but like. i like that the line between awake and dreaming is blurred because that's just fever hazes for you.
also there was an offhand mention of rainclouds not spilling their rain and making it STUPIDLY humid and i relate to that on a spiritaul level rn bc it's been a sweltering 105 degrees where i live for the past week, give or take a degree or three, and usually yeah sure we'll deal with it but it's ALSO super duper duper humid on top of that and it's like NEVER humid here so everyone's hot and sweaty and it feels even hotter and sweater because of the humidity and yeah that. that was such a Mood(tm)
mmmmmmmmmmmmm i can feel myself getting invested in this story. gonna keep reading. great work! ! ! ! ! !
| vampireknight.hc chapter 1 . 7/24/2017
as a native last vegas-ian I want to congratulate you on your story! it took me on a whirlwind of emotions that helped me keep running during my jog today, as well as kept me tearing up in the bathroom shower at the end. thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for such a story.
| Gray lines chapter 4 . 6/23/2017
I had to force myself to wait until I finished the whole fix to comment. I almost don't have words for how amazing this story is. The emotional roller coaster this fix is made of makes my blood boil with adrenaline. At points I actually jumped out of my skin like I was the one surrounded by a hoard of zombies. The personality of geek soul actually made me fall in love with the character even further than I was before, which I didn't think possible. And making blackstar an amputee was a stroke of genius. I've known several and those guys personality is spot on with him. The plot twists and story development are on part with a published novel and I have to say you have a true talent. Please never stop bringing such treasures as this into the world.
| Lady of Eldritch Literature chapter 4 . 5/22/2017
im actually crying, there are no words to describe how much i love this. i just, im, thank you. thank you so much. thats just, thats all i can say
| rainsrabble chapter 4 . 5/19/2017
what a beautiful ending. very nice
| The Impossible Muffin chapter 4 . 5/7/2017
...well...that was a rollercoaster of emotions, so thank you and fuck you. This is going on my list of favorites that I only read when I am emotionally fragile.
| Kite1011 chapter 1 . 4/23/2017
Oh my GOD! THIS FIC IS SO GOOD? Like, I can't even express in words how much I LOVE THIS?!
You are SUCH A GREAT WRITER! This story is phenomenal! I adore your characterizations of Maka and Soul! I just- LOVE IT!
| Soffy-blu chapter 4 . 4/10/2017
oh dear god d this has been such a fucking wild ride oh my fUucK. Let me fucking telly you a goddamn thing: I Was SO DAMN SURE YOU WERE GOING TO KILL THEM ALL AND BE DONE WITH IT I WAS IN TEARS. Jesus fucking hellish holy fuck me goddamn you're a wonderful writer what the hell? I loved this. Wonderful. Beautiful. Magnificent. Its 10:14 a.m. I can't sleep thank you for entertaining me and please don't forget your well-earned soul of mine. I even put it in a little bag that all the mom's on TV use for Halloween parties n shit ! Its great yes I love you human you're wonderful thanks again and excuse my horrible grammar I'm too tired to be a dweeb
| ahshesgone chapter 4 . 3/23/2017
This- I don’t want to call it fic. This story, this creation, is so loudly itself. You know? So distinct. So compact. Everything written in it belongs to it. Realistically, I know it’s fanfiction but. IOTWCS is so IOTWCS. And it’s so distinctly Marsh of Sleep. It seems effortless, like it emerged from the marsh brain intact. I’m not belittling the work you put into it. It’s like when a seasoned gymnast slides into the cleanest split ever and you’re like, I could do that, that looks easy, effortless.
Many, many spoilers ahead.
I love it. The action, the PTSD, the self-destructive tendencies everyone has. The destructive tendencies everyone has. “Your PTSD is showing”. Iconic.
And, to be honest, though contradictory, I hate romance. I love human relationships and I love love and lust and attraction. But, romance is dumb as a genre like it’s generally done. In IOTWCS, what you would call romance, for lack of a better widely recognized term, is excellent.
I love how they eat. How the subject of food is handled. Eating is a vital part of every human’s life and the way people go about basic nutrition in a world helps so much in establishing it. It’s dumb, but, spaghetti o’s and pickle juice and fucking tang are part of what makes this such a complete palpable world.
There are so many callbacks to things previously established.
“Soul” followed by “Speaking”. “Soul, name, not object”. “I took mountain dew as my mistress”. I get up in the morning and make coffee and as I’m trying to convince myself to wake up, my brain instead provides me with ‘I took mountain dew as my mistress’ sometimes. Thanks. Baller. Maka gets handed the gun that killed the old crone as a weapon. IOTWCS is a perfect weave.
The way you handled PTSD is amazing. How Maka holds on to what Harv told her about looking behind colors and lets it become a significant part of her, because she’s rebuilding herself and she needs to do it right. She repeats the phrases she hears and holds onto them like a lifeline. She puts the words of this world’s residents into her mouth to make her belong (you need to eat food from the spirit world, or else you disappear). She is slowly finding her place behind generators but she is still lost. She mimics and simultaneously pays homage to the people who have managed to establish themselves and stayed in the fucked up reality she sees.
“There aren’t enough bullets in the world for The Strip”. Lifeline, fixed point, anchor.
“Biker gang crazy bitch”. Accusation, insult, but still an instruction. Be fearless.
She decides to live. And then she decides to save the world. And that’s also because of Soul. And they become one tangled mess and one entity, and they become a team, so much more than just being crutches through their respective fucking serious PTSD. Fuck.
And then, the Strip. You know what? It took me two? three? weeks to get past the point where Soul gets his torso split in two by Ragnarok. I knew good times were ahead but I remembered what I had to go through to get to them. I remembered well the run through Vegas, the thanks and whispers and prayers to the silent radio. Maka convinces me she will die. And I don’t want her to. The moment when Sid is gone and Black Star loses that leftover semblance of innocence he may have left is unbearable. I was afraid to read all of that again. Fucking hell.
Soul and Maka in this kill me. They kill me as they are individually and as they are as partners. Maka shoves her poison hand deeper into the mouth of the walker that dared bite. She defines her Harvey-bestowed luck as Soul’s existence and its continuing. He tells her to wait for him. Again. I cry.
Shadowstag is a real actual tangible entity that you have created and I am tragically in love with this story in its entirety.
Maka says she’s so glad she met Soul. I’m so glad they met in IOTWCS, you know? I love IOTWCS. I can’t believe.
Every word I read has me in awe. I know you won’t believe me, or think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. Your writing in this is captivating from start to finish. Thank you for everything. Thank you for Maka’s courage and for Soul’s fucking faith in her. Thank you for Black Star’s insane leadership, for ShadowStag, for Harvey. Thank you for, despite what I’m about to say being over the top cheesy (and you’re on keto, forgive me) reminding me/ proving to me that the way I’m particularly inclined to feel the love feelings also occurs elsewhere. Maka and Soul in this are in love the way I believe love to be.
Have I said thank you? Thank you. I feel so lucky that I get to read what you write. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, even though it doesn’t reflect a fraction of the gratitude I feel. I’m so glad I wandered into the same fandom that you are in.
| Dictator4Life chapter 4 . 3/6/2017
This is honestly the absolute best SE fic I've ever read. Thank you so much for sharing. What exactly happened to Crona? I kind of wish they played a bigger role, but having them as Maka's bane makes a tragic kind of sense. Thank you so much for sharing this.