|Reviews for You do not have to walk on your knees|
| Zoe Alice Latimer chapter 1 . 2/21
My stupid heart. I keep reading these stories and expecting different outcomes. I don't care. I love them.
| Kaitie85386 chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
Love it, great job :) any chance of a sequel?
| Kat-Knife chapter 1 . 10/28/2013
Wow...this was really beautiful. Not in a "oh this was so pretty" kind of way but a "wow this was pretty badass"! :)
| Ms. Jynesis chapter 1 . 10/18/2013
I loved this! :) can you write more? Or maybe another?
| JTReads chapter 1 . 7/24/2013
Although not elegant an elegant response, this story made me 'eeeeeee' a fair bit. I love it
| helenxxx chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
I like the idea of loki belonging to the Avengers & visa versa, just like any protective dysfunctional family; very well written
| Mystic 777 chapter 1 . 6/10/2013
I am in awe of how well you capture the "voice" of each character. The emotions... masterfully done. I wish I could convey things as smoothly and impressively as you do!
| Cretha Loesing chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
| Raxacoricofallapatorian17 chapter 1 . 5/28/2013
Really interesting idea. I wonder if Steve's mercy will affect him. He said he's not ready to be done "yet"; perhaps there's hope for the future. I like it :)
| thenightkind chapter 1 . 5/28/2013
Feelz. I have all of them. Great ideas, beautifully conveyed with everyone very IC which is especially hard with Loki. And even tho I'm a sucker for Thor/Loki bro love, I really liked that it was Cap who found him. All the way around, bravo my dear!
| IamThePasserby chapter 1 . 5/25/2013
Sequel! Sequel! I LOVE THIS!
| EbonyWing chapter 1 . 5/24/2013
This is so brilliant! XD
I absolutely love it! Fantastic!
| wbss21 chapter 1 . 5/24/2013
Oh my Goooooooood, how... no, just, seriously, HOW do you do this? How are you even this good of a writer? You're killing me here, you really are.
I feel like I'm such a broken record, and I hope you don't hate me for leaving you such long reviews on all of your stories, but you just blow me away every, single time. And this was no exception.
This was absolutely PHENOMENAL. Man oh man, where do I even start?
You always somehow capture and convey in the most beautifully genuine, powerful way the unbelievable complexity and depth of Loki as a character, and this was just so painfully poignant and heavy and just... damn, I don't even have the words.
What you always manage in the most incredible way, is to present every single side of Loki, every facet of his character, and all of these contradicting, paradoxical aspects of him, and bring them all together and show how they somehow manage to all exist and be true all in the same being. I think that's why I love your Loki stories so much, beyond just how technically well written they are. You capture the beautiful layers of him and express them to perfection.
The set up of this story was incredible, because you build and build and build Loki as, well, a phenomenal bad-ass. He's tough stuff, and ridiculously powerful, and smooth as glass, and so incredibly amused and, truly, just so mischievous in all of these moments where he's saving the lives of each member of the Avengers team. And as we see him here, he seems like someone in absolute, perfect control, and ridiculously confident, and so strong and powerful so as to be almost bored by what to anyone else would be a massive, horrifying threat, LIKE Amora, like an alien invasion, like HYDRA spies and secret organizations, etc... And I think all of those aspects of Loki ARE real, to an extent. When he's in control of a situation, he's just incredibly charismatic and smooth and sophisticated. He seems like the type of guy who's feathers NEVER get ruffled, who's never caught off guard or surprised. And I think Loki IS very confident in his abilities, when he's doing well mentally. I think he KNOWS how powerful he is, I think he's confident in his magic and what it can do. Confident in his own ability to manipulate and seduce and control, etc...
But, paradoxical character that he is, he isn't confident in himself. And he doesn't believe in himself, and I don't think I've ever seen a more heartbreaking demonstration of that fact than the end of this story right here.
Firstly though, I just want to comment on how absolutely DELIGHTFUL it was, reading each scene with each member of the Avengers, and seeing their interactions with Loki, and how different each of those interactions were, both from their ends, and his own. How differently Loki himself regarded whoever it was he happened to be talking to and rescuing at any given moment. What this really demonstrates, I think, is Loki's own amazing versatility as a character. How much depth their is to his personality, that with different characters, a new layer of his own is revealed. And Loki is always just so much fun to read, when he's kicking ass and taking names and just being a general super awesome, super powerful god.
But the last scene here, man, it just KILLS me. It just breaks my heart, seeing Loki in positions like this, because damn it, and I swear I'm getting teary eyed writing this, but Loki is just so heartbreakingly PROUD, and stubborn in that pride, and underneath it all, it's because he thinks of himself as so worthless and weak and pathetic. And it just ruins me inside, because as absolutely brilliant as Loki is, as well as he sees others, it's like he can never see himself. He doesn't see how truly STRONG he is, or tough, or brave. Like his situation here, held captive by HYDRA, rendered totally helpless with them sucking his very life force out of him by draining his magic, for literally MONTHS, and still, when they would come, and pull him out of his fugue state, he would tell them off and issue threats and not give in or beg. And Christ, when Steve finally comes and rescues him, Loki's pride is just so horribly painful to behold. It's just agonizing, because Loki won't allow himself any comfort, because he can't believe anyone would ever, sincerely OFFER it to him.
Just, how he was thinking before Steve came, how he had to pull himself together, how he had to THINK because he just knew no one would be coming for him, that he had no allies and he only had himself, God man, just utterly, utterly tragic.
And Jesus, the way you described Loki's state, how he was so totally out of it from the torture he'd been put through, the way you showed us this scene unfolding from Loki's fragmented and broken perspective, with Steve's voice floating in and out of his awareness, and his inability to place who it belonged to, man, that was just so vivid and real, and made it all the harder to read.
And I swear, when Steve is helping him, and telling him over and over it's okay, that he's going to be okay, and trying to calm him down, and Loki can't stop himself from almost sobbing in relief or whimpering in pain, the part that kills me is, the SHAME Loki feels over it, and how he thinks how much he hates himself, when the truth is, with what's been done to him, there is NO shame in breaking down. There would be no shame in falling apart completely and sobbing uncontrollably. Anyone else would. Most people would have given in long before and probably died. And yet Loki chastises himself for these barely audible sounds of distress. It's just so heartbreaking.
And of course, the worst of it is, is Loki's certainty, once he regains enough of his cognizance, that Steve is there to simply take him and put him through more captivity and torture. How sure he is that that's going to happen, that no kindness or mercy is going to be offered to him. And part of what's so tragic about this is that it reflects just what Loki's been conditioned to expect from others. He's never been really SHOWN kindness, he doesn't even really know what that is. And so when he's met with it from Steve, when it's given to him, he can only meet it with confusion and suspicion and fear.
And possibly one of the most heartbreaking moments here is when Steve tells Loki thank you for rescuing his teammates all those times, and Loki's reaction to that gratitude, Christ, utterly tragic. How it actually makes him panic, because he's so NOT used to ever receiving gratitude, so unused to it, in fact, that it scares the hell out of him, and he freaks out and pushes it away, acts like it means nothing to him, acts resentful of it even. And it's because, deep down, it means more to Loki than anything in the world, to hear those words "thank you", to be acknowledged in that way, to be given value by someone. It just highlights how completely tragic Loki is as a character, and it makes your heart bleed for him, that he's so damaged that he can't even begin to properly process kindness or gratitude or anything that isn't outright cruelty or hate for him.
The scene when Steve gives him water too, man, that just ruined me. How Loki wasn't able to keep himself from drinking it down so quickly, and how he felt shame over it afterwards.
And then his absolute confusion when Steve frees him from his bounds, and Loki just collapses from weakness. Man, the way he pushes Steve away after he catches him and tells him to get away from him, again, it's just so heartbreaking, how unable to deal with or process kindness Loki is, and how AFRAID he is of being seen as weak, how afraid he is of people perceiving weakness in him, to the point he can't allow himself to ever accept help. It makes you realize how much pain Loki must always be in, to see how much true FEAR he really lives in, every moment of his life. It's just so horrible.
And then the end, when Loki is SO close to letting himself admit the reason he's been sparing all of their lives, and going out of his way to SAVE their lives, but he can't quite bring himself to. What's so sad about this is, and which Loki won't admit, but the reason I think he keeps saving them is because, they're really all he has. In a weird, twisted way, the Avengers are Loki's ONLY friends, his only family. And if that doesn't show how tragic his life is, that the closet thing he has to call family and friends are also who he would call his enemies, I don't know what does. Of course, he lies to himself and tells himself that he saves them because he doesn't want anyone else killing them but him. But Loki clearly doesn't want any of them dead at all. It highlights how truly little Loki has, to call his own, that the only contact he has with people, the only people he sees regularly and in any sort of intimate or close way, are people he fights. That fighting them, and challenging them, and engaging them that way is the only way Loki knows HOW, the only means he has to having any kind of relationship at all with anyone.
Man, Loki just kills me, he's such a deep, complex, and utterly tragic figure. And you capture all of that about him better than just about anyone I've ever seen. I truly do mean it when I say your Loki stories are my absolute favorite, whether it's fanfiction or something officially published. No one does it better than you.
Beautiful, beautiful story, and as always, I look forward to what you come up with next, and thank you so much for sharing!
| Maia2 chapter 1 . 5/24/2013
Oh, I am glad you finished it and decided to publish it, because it's a great story to read.
I really like the inner conversations each of them had, their observations on Loki. I loved Cap's observations on Loki, how he figured out not even Loki knows why. And then there's Loki. And his befuddlement at being thanked, at being let go, at being helped... poor thing. I also really like that at the end he convinced himself again that this was just a lapse, that this is just a game. Because he doesn't know how to deal otherwise.
Really well written, thanks for sharing.
| Twinchy chapter 1 . 5/24/2013
This is another fabulous story of yours! *cheers*
It was truly entertaining to read whatever Loki told himself why he was helping the Avengers out once in a while and how he handled the respective situations with the adversaries of the day. Surely it didn't hurt either that the God of Mischief cemented his reputation as not to be messed around with among the villains - even though, as seen in the final scene, it earned him new, capeable and cruel enemies as well.
Apart from the obvious blood-shed where the Trickster was involved, it was such a joy to watch Loki treat the Avengers' and subsequently his oponents with disdain and expressed boredom, making them feel all the more insignificant. I'm pretty certain it's one of the things that drives the "mere mortals" crazy every time like nothing else, when either of the Asgardian brothers looks down upon them as if they couldn't hope to live up to their standard in a hundred years or more.
Poor Loki having to suffer terribly at the hands of HYDRA before anyone came to rescue him, still very much quite by chance. But it's a good thing, it was Steve who did the honours because if anyone stands up for his principles, it's the Captain - and it just wouldn't have had the same impact to it if it had been repaying in kind how he had saved anyone's life before IMHO.
Also, I think Steve's insecurity towards the younger Odinson and doing what needed to be done really went a long way of making Loki not feel entirely as inadequate in his temporary helplessness as it would have been with anyone else maybe taking control of everything much more. Plus, the Captain was probably the only person on the whole team Loki believed about not condoning torture EVER.
And finally, Thor's gratitude will always be with Steve for this - and Loki's as well, no matter that he tried to make light of it and didn't want to acknowledge mercy where mercy was given freely. *melts*