|Reviews for Boys und Sensha-dō!|
| danielg chapter 2 . 4/10
not trying to sound critical or anything but there is one historical inaccuracy that nearly all people put in there GUP fanfics. the tiger(p) did not have the same armor as a tiger because of its revolutinary and fualty engine it could mount double the armor of a tiger while only sacrafising a little speed. so realy the front hull is 200mm thick a vary tough machine. sorry about spelling.
| Theralion chapter 2 . 3/24
Upon a second examination, and reading some more recently published works, I can conclude that this fic, while flawed in some ways, eschews some of the worst excesses of the "boys in tankery" genre in favor of a more realistic take.
*While I had thought of Akio and the rest of Shark Team as getting good too quickly, on second thought, in light of their performance against Dalian and Continuance, they seem to be more balanced than most teams. It's also something of a refreshing change of pace to see Alligator Team as one of the less useful teams, although they could use more characterization to become more than "the other boys' team." Neither team has military training, none of the boys become de facto commander of the team, and apart from the time when Akio saved Miho after her tank almost ran her over, none of the girls lose competence to make the boys look good. Akio also scores lower than many OCs do on the Official Mary Sue Litmus Test.
*The boys' tanks are somewhat exotic, but not as strong in comparison to canon characters' tanks as in other fics.
*The main opponents to tankery are portrayed somewhat negatively, with Shiho's rationalizations for disowning Miho almost unanimously rejected (essentially, the entire belief that disowning Miho is a necessary step to be able to allow Miho to do things her own way while Shiho herself continues to oppose boys in tankery falls apart if you conclude that Shiho should not be against boys in the first place), although Maho seems disproportionately harsh on Erika. On the other hand, it's never treated as a given that boys should get involved in tankery, nor is the rest of the world assumed to be united in favor of coed tankery and toward pressuring Japan to fall in line. Perhaps we're not meant to think of fighting the inclusion of boys in tankery as a reason that justifies disowning Miho, but Shiho is not necessarily alone in her opinions.
*My criticisms of Miho and Akio's relationship still stand. He shouldn't be treated as Miho's best source of emotional support. Miho has known since at least Chapter 7 of Little Army, that her family is unusually strict, as Emi tells her that the Nishizumis are reputed as being notoriously strict even compared to other tankery families, which is proof that her treatment *is* highly unusual, even among families that could be compared to the Nishizumis. Additionally, Maho is self-aware enough to know what other people think of her relationship with Miho that she shouldn't need to be lectured about it while visiting Miho in the hospital after she was almost killed. In fact, she deserves to know that her efforts aren't in vain, and there are people out there, Miho included, who do understand her. Lastly, Miho spending time with Akio shouldn't come at the expense of spending time with her team.
With all those complaints about the relationship out of the way, though, I can say that it is proceeding at a realistic pace. Fourteen chapters, 80,000 words, several weeks of in-universe time, three and a half exhibition matches and one practice battle into the story, they're still just friends(Akio believes that the bar is low for that, which does come off as somewhat insulting to Anglerfish Team, Hitomi, Chihiro and Emi, but that's another matter), with the occasional protest by Akio that Miho isn't his girlfriend. They have a long way to go, as does the story, which means that they're right where they should be for their devleoping relationship.
In short, while this fic has its flaws, I've also become able to appreciate some of the things it does well, and felt the need to point the out here.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/12
| Theralion chapter 4 . 1/9
On another reading of Chapter 4, a few issues stood out in my mind.
First, and most importantly, I have trouble swallowing the idea that none of Miho's friends from Anglerfish Team would invite her along while in port (similarly, in Chapter 12, Saori goes shopping without Miho; the first time I read it, I thought the "can we go shopping" included Miho). Consider, for example, what Anglerfish Team does in their down time.
*In Episode 1, Saori and Hana find the new girl and invite her to lunch.
*In Episode 2, the first four members of Anglerfish Team go to the tankery club together, then have dinner at Miho's house. The latter event is what causes Miho to be truly happy about coming to Oarai.
*In Episode 3, after practice, the girls bathe together.
*In Episode 4, after the match with St. Gloriana, Anglerfish Team, sans Mako (who needs to go see her grandmother, so there's a reason for her to be absent) go shopping.
*In Episode 5, Anglerfish Team has dessert at the tankery cafe together.
*In Episode 7, Anglerfish Team has lunch on the tank, with Hana, Saori and Yukari having been looking for Miho.
*In Episode 10, Anglerfish Team has dinner at Miho's place, while the other teams hang out together.
As you can see, Anglerfish Team is very tight-knit, so even if the intent was to give Miho some time alone with Akio(which seems likely, given that Miho's friends seem to be pushed to the side in favor of Akio), it doesn't really make sense that the other members would just go off on their own and leave Miho there. If anything, the others, most likely Saori, would go off and look for Miho, knowing how Miho gets when left to her own devices, so not even extending an invitation seems to be out of character for them.
Second, I can't help but notice how detailed Leopon Team's descriptions (4-7 sentences each) are compared to those of the rest of Anglerfish Team in the first chapter (2-3 sentences each for those besides Miho), when the former is a group not given much screentime until later, while the latter are the main characters.
Third, the description of Maho's motives sounds as though it was written without taking Little Army into account; the emphasis should be placed on "because it was expected of her," and it should be added that "but more than anything, she did it so that Miho would not have to."
Fourth, I'm less sure that the Military Academy is the only way up for high school-level tankers, or that Shiho is the only instructor there (supplemental material indicates that there are other tankery schools, and Chihiro implies in Little Army that there are other tankery families that aren't as strict as the Nishizumi family), but this seems to be a case of headcanon.
Lastly, Anchovy, as of the OVA, isn't as much of a "victory or nothing" person, but that's understandable, since the OVA hadn't been released back when this chapter was first published.
That's all for now. I'll post another review like this if I think of anything else in a chapter I've already read.
| cellum95 chapter 14 . 12/15/2014
You know, I never noticed who was the Flag Tank. What is Akio's Team?
(P.S, Why am I dreaming of WoT Tanks coming out of nowhere and avenge the Pz III/IV?)
| Kao Vamp chapter 14 . 10/30/2014
Well I'm left with very little to say here, quite frankly. Erwin rolling into a trap like a ball down a staircase, has been pretty well covered by Severstal already. Repeating his points here would be more or less pointless. There is one thing I will say regarding Erwin's tactics. Crossing any kind of obstacle which would slow your force down significantly, without deploying an overwatch, is essentially asking for a slaughter. In terms of Oarai's tanks, the Stug and Hetzer are quintessential overwatch tanks, they are very well suited for providing covering fire for the crossing, from even a mildly elevated position on the friendly bank of the crossing. With increased engagement range, both tanks would avoid elevation problems when it came to engaging continuance properly. Forcing Continuance to fight at ranges beyond their pre-aimed comfort zone, would also make it much more of a gunner skill duel.
Aside from that, I am really starting to wonder, if in fact English is the first language of the author. Lines like "road through the streets of Tokyo" are a prime example why I'm left wondering, if Google translate was involved.
| severstal chapter 14 . 10/30/2014
Hello, it's been over a year since I last reviewed. Frankly, having stopped reading this fic at Ch3 in disgust at the low (non-existent) fidelity of the characters in battle, I'm pleased to see from this chapter that at some point there is significant improvement in the portrayal, so I think I will try a one-off review, based mostly on the data in this Chapter.
This battle so far can be summarized as "Man, did Erwin walk into it" or "How Poor Combat Concepts & Formation Can Ruin a Force". Frankly, I don't have as high an opinion on Erwin's tactical acumen as some others so I can see Canon!Erwin handling it this way. Nevertheless, the decision has been taken in this story that she's the 2nd most competent (that's why she's selected) - so the question must be asked as to whether you intended her to look quite so bad.
First, even on a map it would have been rather obvious this is ground suitable for the ambush. Erwin, however, does not even try to conceive of any other plan other than variants of sweeping the enemy - that is, running into THEIR ambushes. The fact she is mostly thinking about "contingency plans" suggest they are responses *after* they were ambushed rather than proactively trying to get the enemy. This is a losing strategy especially for a force with fewer tanks, many of which are inferior to the enemy. One wonders if that's how Kuromorimine lost.
Next, she compounds the error by not putting out any scouting / security. The story-text seems to try to defend the decision, but it is very much the weaker half of the coin. If they try to engage Duck Team (now a Chi-Ha), at least part of their forces will lose the element of surprise. Further, Duck Team may well be their best chance of pre-empting an ambush while sweeping. Concealed positions are always hard to detect pre-emptively, but any chance will involve getting close and careful observation, and Duck Team is the best chance to do that because its combat potential is so low that the enemies will be reluctant to give up their surprise advantage to take it out while there's a chance they are still undetected, so it will be allowed to get closer, look more carefully ... etc.
Further, Erwin chooses to not even try to make a lunge for the "few" observation points that could give her team some advantage. I will pretend that's because they are all on the enemy's side but it is still suspicious. BTW, how does the enemy see through a "solid" canopy of trees from what seem to be hilltops - I will pretend there are intermittent spots of lesser coverage, but one should still be careful with such descriptions.
So, by the start of the battle, Erwin is reduced to an extremely reactive posture. She then compounds it when, citing trafficability difficulties, she changes her pre-battle formation to a marching one.
The high point of Erwin's career so far is when she correctly uses the rangefinder to support long-range shooting. I can't see Canon!Miho doing that.
Unfortunately, even when crossing some particularly tough terrain into an area of especially high ambush probability, Erwin does not take the decision to try and deploy into a formation more suitable for sweeping, or send out lures, or deploy overwatch. Instead, they try and get across the difficult bit in column and a piecemeal manner. Despite the supposed difficulty, the fact that not only T-34s but IVs and StuGs could deploy *off* the roads into a three sided ambush suggests the terrain is not quite as constricted and un-navigable as Erwin tries to make it out to be. In the unlikely event that there is no option to deploy in that terrain, the approach should be abandoned and another one chosen, or at least part of the force should be sent away. Though there is a risk of the better acquainted Continuation setting another ambush, little can be worse than feeding your force directly into an identified high probability kill zone. What were they wishing for, that the ideal ambush spot wasn't?
As a result, when about half the column is in the trap, it is sprung. Only the low accuracy of shooting (the kill zone should have been pre-sighted, but maybe that's too much to expected of Senshado students ... still we are talking as little as 50m here) prevents instant annihilation of Oarai and even lets them fight back somewhat. Continuation may have taken advantage of the terrain, but it is Erwin that cooperated. It is understandable Continuation's commanders were not impressed.
Stylistically, there are a few too many "the Anglerfish", "the Shark" etc. These are being used as proper nouns.
Maybe I'll hang around just to see how you'd end this battle.
| KnighteWolfe chapter 2 . 10/30/2014
I was wondering why you didn't add an M24 Chaffee to Ooarai's lineup?
Plus, and I know this is probably late, Sherman tanks did have a gyrostabilizer for their main gun (as did the Hellcat and a couple of other American tanks and TD's) so they could fire on the move.
| Infinite Freedom chapter 14 . 10/29/2014
Gotta feel a little sorry for Erwin, having this as her first battle as commander.
Also, I still don't understand why people hate Karelia. Love that map
| Neo-byzantium chapter 14 . 10/29/2014
Sounds like Oarai's having a tough time against Continuance as expected. I'm glad that Erwin's in command now and NOT Momo, they'd have been wiped out already if that were the case! Speaking of Erwin, she's doing the right thing keeping the tanks close to each other and seems to have heavily prepared for this match.
So Kuromorimine actually lost their last practice match against Continuance? Uh oh, that's not good. Still, there HAVE been upsets before and given how rigid and lumbering Kuromorimine tends to be, it IS possible for them to lose to a weaker but more flexible and resilient team like Continuance when fighting on Continuance's home ground. Maho will have to continue to modify her team's tactics and strategies to beat them next time.
Continuance's commander shouldn't be so quick to judge Oarai as sucking JUST yet. That attitude is what cost Pravda their tournament match against Oarai the previous year.
| Theralion chapter 14 . 10/29/2014
Out of curiosity, what kind of match was the one Kuromorimine lost against Continuance and when was it? Was it an exhibition match, and which of Kuromorimine's tankers took the field that day? I think Shiho would be upset by any sort of dent in Kuromorimine's records, so I believe we'd have heard from her about that. It's understandable that you'd want to build up Continuance as a significant threat to Oarai, one that will probably defeat them while they're under Erwin's leadership, although you might want to be careful about going so far as to say that they *did* defeat Black Forest (Chapter 12 saying that victory wasn't guaranteed on their home territory was a better indication of what kind of advantage they had).
The battle does give a good show of how Continuance uses their home terrain to their advantage, even if, as I said before, I'm less than convinced that they were able to defeat Black Forest. In the hands of a commander who isn't as good as Miho, and with their not necessarily having the advantage of better tactics or home ground, Oarai will likely be defeated.
In this fic, I notice that Miho seems, paradoxically enough, both a bit more and a bit less assertive than her canon incarnation. She seems a bit more willing to stand her ground against her rivals than in canon, (such as when she cuts off Hideyoshi's belittling her by saying that she's more interested in meeting the school's commander), but on the other hand, she seems to have internalized Shiho's expectations more than in canon (such as when she resignedly says she was disowned because she went against her expectations).
The former is all well and good, but as for the latter, Miho does want Shiho's approval, but there are things that Miho won't do for it (such as abandoning her teammates who are in danger), and there are times when Miho won't do as Shiho says (the aforementioned rescue and going to Oarai over Shiho's objections). Portraying Miho as a relatively meek individual who can be decisive when it matters and with the support of her friends is something of a balancing act, and it's fairly common for fan portrayals of her to show one side significantly more than the other.
It might have been nice to give more development to Continuance's characters, such as how closely they stick with their nation's stereotype (for example, Saunders is very much American, while Kuromorimine has very little German- oddly enough, it's referred to by a Japanese name), what kind of people they are (friendly like Kay, ruthlessly determined like Erika or driven by another motive, like Maho). Perhaps it might have been best to show some scenes of their preparations, a bit like Dalian, but in more detail, to show what kind of team they are, and discuss how they fared in the tournament. Perhaps the chance to be able to defeat the team that defeated Kuromorimine, succeeding where they failed this year, is an attractive prospect for them. Perhaps doing so will further their goals, whatever they may be. In any case, I hope they get more development and more of a role in the story than as Oarai's latest opponent, albeit one that's a unique challenge for them.
Again, you should be careful to use the proper construction of words; for example, the title should read "Worse than Karelia," since you want the comparative, rather than the superlative. There are also quite a few other mistakes, such as "then" rather than "than", "it's" where it's (its apostrophe signifies that it's a contraction of "it is") more appropriate to use "its" and so forth.
The chapter ends slightly abruptly, but on an appropriately ominous note for Oarai. I'm interested in seeing how it turns out.
| c0dy88 chapter 14 . 10/29/2014
and the crap has met the fan.
| Kao Vamp chapter 13 . 8/29/2014
Guess what... I'm back :)
First off the good points. I have to admit I quite enjoyed the technical bit, though I will say it's not for everybody. I'm wondering where you got the info about the engines being troublesome? From what I managed to gather about that, which admittedly is a few sketchy articles, it seems to me that the engines were sabotaged in production. That in itself was fairly common with the use of prisoner labour.
Now for the less than great things. The scraps of the fighter skirmish were tolerable at best. With the line up given a furball is the least likely thing to develop, especially with experienced pilots setting the pace. The 109 series are essentially energy fighters, that is speed is their main advantage and while the 109 can turn fight in a pinch it's not something you'd want to do given the choice. It's even worse for the FW 190, which was designed to be fast and climb really well, but don't ask it to turn rapidly unless you want to test it's flight performance while missing wings. Early jets such as the ME 262 are essentially straight line wonders, pull the yoke a bit too much at high speed and it's bye bye wings and, in the case of the 262, bye bye engines along with them. Most fights for BF 109's FW 190's and the jets would thus develop vertically rather than horizontally. A pilot would set up an attack run, pounce on a target, trading altitude for speed which he would then use to break off regain altitude and set up a second pass if needed. With what are mostly 2 teams of dedicated energy fighters, a turn fight would result in at least 1 FW 190 pilot potentially shedding her wings, if she didn't watch her airspeed before starting the turn. That's a goner, sport or not.
While we're on the subject, if Blue division used dogfighting aircraft, be it Spitfires, Zeros or even biplanes, pulling inexperienced Kuromorimine pilots into a turn fighting furball and forcing them to loose all of the inherent advantages of their aircraft, would be one quick way to decimate them.
| ziggyzack1234 chapter 7 . 8/20/2014
i dont think darjelling is related to assam and Orange pekoe
| ziggyzack1234 chapter 1 . 8/20/2014
One thing, there is no pyrotechnics involved