Reviews for What Wars Can Change
sweetandspice chapter 1 . 12/29/2014
It's so real feeling and sweet I love it.
TrisanaChandler13 chapter 1 . 5/7/2014
Okay, I'll admit, I cried. This was so beautifully bittersweet! If I hadn't already been a loyal Charlie/Draco shipper, well, I most definitely would be now!
Ralinde chapter 1 . 3/23/2014
I'm usually not a big fan of Muggle!AU, but I think you pulled it off nicely. Charlie in the military doesn't seem so far fetched, I could quite easily picture him like that. You depicted the feelings and also the awkwardness of Charlie coming home after a mission well, it would be quite difficult to come home and find (of think) that some things have changed while you would have liked it to stay the same and the fact that Charlie's eyes don't smile is a clear sign that something is amiss. It's only natural that he doesn't want his family to know, and I like how Draco supports him in that, but also feels that his family should know. I had a bit of a problem with the Weasleys (still) not accepting Draco, they don't seem like the kind to hold a grudge for too long a time.

One small error: "Before Draco could ask what was triggered" this sentence just doesn't flow that well.
roots are good chapter 1 . 3/5/2014
I thought this was great. It was kind of sad, but really sweet. I know it's important that we have people protecting our countries, and I'm very thankful that they do, but it's always sad that people have to go through that violence, and it's also sad how it changes people. But I felt that this was also a great story because it showed also that even though we go through bad things, people who love us, like Draco loved Charlie, are there to help you. I liked the part where Charlie's family realizes that at a time like this Charlie needs someone to love and to be there for him, and they decide that even though they may not be crazy about Draco, he's good for Charlie. :) Very touching.

On to grammar! I didn't find any mistakes, so that was very good. I also thought you did a very good job making sure your sentences flowed smoothly and I didn't find any that stuck me as awkward. You're word choice was great and you used a wide variety of sentence types. Everything was very well written.

"It might not be perfect, but it's always worth it." I love cute endings like that. :) Awesome fic, I'm so glad I read it!
ReillyJade chapter 1 . 2/25/2014
Admittedly, I tend to avoid Muggle-AUs like the plague. This isn't any fault off you own; it's merely because in my early ff days I encountered far too many that were, simply put, original fiction with HP names thrown in so they could be tagged as ff.

That said, I'm very pleased that despite this being AU, you managed to keep all of the major players in-character. While the magic wasn't there, the Weasleys were still very Weasley-like, Draco was a bit vulnerable and apprehensive, and Charlie was steadfast and stoic. (I'm not even sure if that's the word I'm intending to go for, but I think you get my point. :p) I was especially happy that Bill was just how we see in the books: supportive, but not overly invasive.

I'd also like to give major kudos for tackling such a touchy subject. The funny thing about HP is that while a major part of it was the war, we never really saw the lasting effects it had on the characters. (Which I'll happily admit is my lone complaint about the epilogue; I highly doubt everything was all fairy dust and rainbows for Harry post-DH.) So even though this was set in the Muggle world, I think this is an exploration to what could have happened to characters in canon after the Second (or even the First) Wizarding War. It's difficult to read about, but poignant nonetheless.

I appreciate that you didn't feel the need to include a scene depicting Charlie absolutely flipping out and getting violent. While that certainly happens to victims of PTSD, it doesn't happen to /all/ of them, yet it's quickly becoming both a stereotype and assumption. However, some are like Charlie appears here: his episodes are a bit more quiet and he's a bit reclusive about them, but damaged nonetheless. But general opinion is, I'm afraid, considering the former to be far worse and more worrisome, simply because it's more outward. This isn't the case at all, as both are equally awful, so applaud you for examining the too-often ignored aspect of this disorder.

And honestly, this really hit home for me, because my brother is military and currently away from home. Though I get to talk to him a lot, it's still tough, so I could get into Draco's shoes at the beginning of this piece. Waiting is so difficult, even with a time frame in place.

My lone critique is that some pieces of dialogue began in the middle of paragraphs; they should always start in a new line for aid in readability. One instance was here: { is wearing confused looks. “What the hell was that?” his sister asks, breaking...} -When Ginny begins talking, a new paragraph should begin. There were a couple of other places, but ff dot net no longer allows us to copy/paste directly from stories. (Which, in the long run, is probably more beneficial than not. :p) It's just something to keep in mind in future writing. :)

All in all, a very moving, well-written piece. Thank you so very much for sharing it with us in the Showcase! :)
hiddenhibernian chapter 1 . 2/11/2014
Somehow both being unable to cook and being a clean freak seems to fit canon Draco, Muggle or not!

"What is he doing here?" - that's pitch-perfect, I'd imagine Draco entering the Weasley home would get that reaction no matter which Weasley brought him there...

I love how you used Charlie's flashback to show how the war has changed him, and how Draco has ended up knowing him better than even his family does. I also like the way their backstory (Draco's mob family and so on) isn't over-explained, just alluded to here and there so the reader has to piece it together on their own.

All in all it's beautifully written. This is not a pairing I normally read, but if the writing is good enough anything works and you certainly pulled this off. I think it's because you're showing, not telling, the relationship between Draco and Charlie that makes it seem so heartwarmingly real. Like here: “But even to his own ears, it sounds like don't ever leave me again, but if Charlie hears it, he doesn't comment”. Well done, I really enjoyed this!
Lillielle chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
I love this. The beginning drags on a bit to me?-Especially with some of the things like "Draco puts away the groceries" and stuff, since I feel like it could be tightened up a bit? But in general, I really like it. It really fits as a Muggle!AU and I love Draco/Charlie! I also like the way that even though it's not set in the magical world, Charlie's family is still not very pleased with Draco being around. I think the way you portrayed Charlie's PTSD was well-done, with his startle reflex and loud noises triggering him into flashbacks. I -love- the fact Draco knows better than to touch him and startle him more, that's so important! And the ending is very sweet.
Forever Siriusly Sirius chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
This was ansolutley amazing. You cover the raw emotion so well in this fic, like I can feelDraco's anxiety and Charlie's fear pouring off the page.

I really love how you show Charlie with PTSD? Or something similar, the way his eyes are dead as if his body is in the flat but his mind is still at war. You do a really good job, my heart breaks for Charlie, poor baby.

Draco too is wonderful. I love how he cleans the foat twice he's so anxious for Charlie to get home and I adore how there is never ever a flicker ofdoubt when he says I Love You to charlie. He knows that war!charle isn'tdraco's!charlie and that amount of love an dedication is incredible. They're so beautiful.

Not only fid you have Draco/Charlie but the family too! I love the Weasley's, and I love how they come to accept Draco after they realise how,uch he cares.

Beautiful, beautiful job sam, as always.
DobbyRocksSocks chapter 1 . 1/12/2014
I don't even know where to start. This was so...haunting. I can't even...

I'll try again. You wrote this so so perfectly. I can understand why you are so proud of this, it is amazing. So, honest and deep, and that last line, oh my, it just sums up how I am sure millions of people all over the world feel when their partners come home from war.

I didn't notice any mistakes, but I was so drawn into the story that I probably wouldn't have seen one even if it was waving at me from the page flashing neon pink.

This is incredible.
Holly The Sparkling Unicorn chapter 1 . 1/9/2014
This was brilliant Sammy dear. I love the emotion you portrayed into Charlie's hard time adjusting back into life outside of war. Draco was lovely at helping him also, something that I see actualy happening on canon if it was someone he loved even though he was a right prat sometimes. I like how your incorporated the prompts into this, including the Muggle!Au, although I think it could be read as a non muggle!Au as well, I only just remembered that it was a muggle!au when I read the ending and it actually said military hahaha. Anyway, fantastic job! Keep up the amazing work!
VictoryNike chapter 1 . 1/7/2014
This was really well written. Even though I don't ship this pairing at all, you had me going "awww" at their reunion and at the end.

I do think that you could have expanded on the fact that Charlie has "empty eyes" a little more and tied it in at the end. Maybe something like Charlie's eyes will always be empty but Draco doesn't mind, or that a little life came back into Charlie's eyes at Draco's words or something just to tie back in with that. I realize this is more of a stylistic thing and this is your story; I just think that it might add to your story, but again, its your story and it is great as it as well :)

Overall, I liked it!
JanieNine chapter 1 . 1/6/2014

I do like the concept, though I find there to be a few grammatical errors. This is what I noticed: (I'm writing them as I read the story, so they're in order.)
"the flat is too silence for..." You need to use the adjectival form of silence there, which would be silent.
"Charlie's" This should only be used for a possessive. I understand it's use in dialogue as a contraction, but you used it in the narrative.
"Draco wishes it was longer." With wish and if, you use were instead of was. It's the subjunctive tense. Took me AGES to remember that one every time.
"father's associates believed his brother as a threat." I can't identify the specific error here, but I do know it's wrong. You need to get rid of the as or make it was.
You use the word prideful somewhere. It is a word, I think, but I'm not exactly sure it's correct. Proud would be better.

You talk about that moment where Draco realizes that Charlie was worrying about the rearrangement. You just gave away a huge bit of information there in one sentence of narration! That could have been great to show us, instead of tell us.

Overall, this was a pretty solid piece. I could see the relationship there, and I could definitely see some things hidden deeper than just a love piece, so good on you for that. That said, I wish you had explained how you got from cannon to this point here. I guess that's just me and my love of plausibility, but the pairing as a whole just doesn't seem too plausible with the story you've provided. That said, as your writing is sound overall, I did enjoy reading.
deletes chapter 1 . 1/4/2014
*sigh* If anyone can make me ship Charlie/Draco, it's you Sam. This was beautiful. I could just /feel/ Draco's loneliness and restlessness at the start. When I read that Charlie had been away for a whole year, I felt even more miserable for them both. After Charlie's nightmare, when Draco reassured him that he /would/ still love him if he knew what he'd done, that was when I really fell in love with it. In a lot of my stories, and other stories that I like, Draco is the one that needs reassuring of this fact, given his past, so it was awesome to have him being the comforting party. It was brilliant that Draco knew Charlie so well that he wouldn't push him to talk about stuff that he didn't want to, and that he was able to bring him back to reality during his flashback. I love the little tinge of sadness that underscored the whole piece, because of that fact that things had changed, but I'm glad it didn't turn into a full on angst fest. Gorgeous work!
keeptheotherone chapter 1 . 1/3/2014
Kudos for staying in present tense! That's hard to do, and I didn't spot any deviations from it. I liked the little indications of how long Charlie had been gone, like the calendar on the wall and especially the off-beat kiss. The symbolism of the furniture being changed indicating a change in their relationship was great, and the way Draco pays such close attention to Charlie and notices little things, like his response to sudden noises and how he doesn't like to be touched during a flashback, shows how much he cares about Charlie. I also thought you wrote the Weasleys very well, especially given how little page time they had.
autumn midnights chapter 1 . 1/3/2014
I really like the Muggle!AU here - military!Charlie is something that I don't think I've read before, and it's handled so well here. The transformation of the Death Eaters into a gang/mob makes a lot of sense, as well; I really like that you included that detail, including the implication that Draco was once one of them.

You handled the topic of PTSD very well, also - Charlie's flashbacks and his characterizations reflect it nicely, and I really like how Draco also simply understands him, without needing explanation as to what exactly Charlie went through that caused him to be that way.

A couple small typos - 'mom' should be 'mum', 'too silence' should be 'too silent' - but nothing that major.

I really like the scene with Draco and the Weasleys. First off, I like the way that you tie Fred's death back to Draco's father and his associates, just like in canon, and have some of Charlie's family members resent him for it. I love Bill being supportive of Charlie and Draco's relationship, also - that was a nice touch to include. I also love how it's /Draco/ who knows what's going on with Charlie, and not his family members.

The fic does show a sweeter side to Draco that's not really seen in canon, but I enjoyed it a lot; it was interesting to see a take on what Draco would be like around someone that he truly loves. Great job, Sam!
23 | Page 1 2 Next »