|Reviews for Don't Say A Word|
| irmaida chapter 1 . 12/31/2013
First off - that slam when you realize where the title's from? ;-; oucchhh aaaah
I love Lavinia's characterization - her beauty, her voice, her curse. Her backstory is really well written. And the portrayal of the Capitol, I think, is spot on.
Antony and Lavinia. ;-; That scene where she wants to visit her family but can't is probably my favorite.
Overall I really liked this. Great job!
| Ninazadzia chapter 1 . 12/28/2013
Now that's a damn good one-shot. Interesting take on the avox girl's life and backstory; I like how you wrote her as naive rather than heroic, and Antony as trustworthy rather than her Romeo. The entire fic felt very, very real to me. My only complaint is that Lavinia saw Katniss, and she immediately thought, "stay safe if your district! Don't leave!" I think a more realistic reaction would've been "effing save me!" But, then again, that's just my opinion.
Otherwise, very nicely done.
| blisterkissed chapter 1 . 12/20/2013
In your first paragraph, it's peculiar how you say "A curse which condemned her from the start," since most of the time, beauty is associated with all things good. (Except for maybe arrogance.) It pulls the reader in.
"Tired of not recognizing that stupid girl in her mirror." Wow, what a strong sentence. This gives her the sense of being kind of disappointed in herself, which I think fits well with the idea of her being so hopeful and somewhat naive at the beginning. She's matured.
I wonder how long it might take her to scrub off all the dyes, though? Since the are dyes, I would assume a while. It might be nice to be given some more details on that, and what she was feeling while she did it, if anything at all.
"This was her home now." But she didn't think it was home.
With all that she does "for the Capitol," I'm slightly surprised that she allows Antony to touch her. Is their relationship platonic? (Physically.) I would assume that practically being a sex toy would make her squirm around physical contact.
"All Lavinia could wish for was that the Capitol would never find her." Heartbreaking.
This is really good, I enjoy the background you give her character.
| lydiamartins chapter 1 . 8/27/2013
Your background story and all of the descriptive details that you put in to create a more fleshed out version of Lavinia's character who wasn't that really well fleshed out during the original books is very nice and made this a more enjoyable read; parts of this oneshot were confusing but after a few rereads everything seemed to make more sense. The ending was made out of simpler sentences, but it carried a deeper meaning especially the last line; "And so Lavinia said nothing. Not a word. Not ever again." Lavinia's description of Katniss was nice too, :) Loved this!
| marblesharp chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
You indicate there was trafficking of not only desirable victors but ordinary district children as well. When we know there's victor-whoring in canon, it's not exactly surprising that the Capitol would also steal children for a profit. However, it does seem a bit extreme for them to target district children because it'd take so much effort while there are children in the Capitol - as awful as that is to consider. So what happened to Lavinia is possible but not really plausible.
Anthony invites Lavinia kind of last-minute on a plan he's been working on intricately for months? If there was more of him and their relationship, and perhaps Lavinia helping with the escape plan, his invivation would be more believable since it's apparent they trust each other. This is just a nitpick, though.
All that aside, I like your writing, and your backstory for Lavinia as well as her foreshadow-y musings about Katniss at the end are interesting. It's a nice setup for when Katniss meets her again.
| A Kitten With A Pen chapter 1 . 8/25/2013
Tears. Freaking tears. Your one-shot made tears fall down my face. This was perfect, I love how you wrote her. Just perfect.
| carolineshine22 chapter 1 . 8/10/2013
This is cleverly written! I never thought of Lavinia's life like this, great work!
| Estoma chapter 1 . 6/1/2013
Shotty first review! (I love getting the first review in)
What a chilling idea. I hadn't thought of this before, but of course, it does make sense that the Capitol would recruit prostitutes from the Districts, because why would they do that to one of their own unless they had transgressed? And then who really wants to sleep with someone who is a traitor? Nice imaginings!
I like the use of the lines to separate the various segments. Can be so hard on a screen sometimes to see where paragraphs begin and end so this is a nice technique to make sure we don't get lost.
While I did like the fic, there were some parts that had the feel of a fairytale to them. Just in the tone. Particularly the first paragraph, especially with lines of description, eg, her hair being like the rising sun. The parts I liked best were those with more showing and less telling, for example, here: [He put his hands along her back. She inched away from his touch. He leaned in to kiss her lips. She pushed him away.] and when you mention a bolted door! Excellent.
The very last line: [And so Lavinia said nothing. Not a word. Never again.], I feel like you could do without. In my opinion, it would be a stronger ending if you just ended with the dialogue. Something like: [The cold man smiled. "Don't say a word."] Just my opinion though :)
Wonderful work! Love it!