|Reviews for Hidden Light 2|
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 5 . 12/6/2013
The more I read, the more I love this story. The relationships are becoming evermore complex with each chapter and the interplay between the characters is by far your greatest strength. You write dialogue very well. I feel one of my weaknesses as a writer is dialogue and characterization (I don't feel I delve deeply enough sometimes) so to read a story where someone has really hit the nail on the head is an absolute treat.
I adored Raph this chapter. When I was younger and watched the 1987 cartoon and the live action films, he was always my favorite. As I've gotten older, I have a real soft spot for Donnie, but I still appreciate Raph (they all have their allure for me, really.) His gruff personality can be difficult to get a read on, but he strikes me as someone who would be difficult to get to know but fiercely loyal once you earned his trust. My favorite line of his in this chapter was: 'Don, you're my brother.' It's perfect. Casey may be his friend and tey may have a lot in common, but in one beautifully succinct setence, you sum up who Raphael is. Awesome job!
The attack from the Foot was a surprise, but a nice touch. April getting injured was a great way to stir up all of the uncertainty that seemed settled: Don will second guess whether a relationship with April is best for her while stewing about his very nature-that of a mutant "freak." To me, their relationship always reminds me of the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
This was a great chapter, for sure. You rock. Officially added to my rather exclusive favorite authors list!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 4 . 12/6/2013
I loved the Casey-Raph interplay in this chapter. They share a unique friendship and you really brought that to the forefront. I also really liked that you linked Casey's sobriety to his metal health/state; many people are good and decent until they have one too many. That he came to the realization later on that he couldn't keep walking the path he was on provides hope for him later on. Here's hoping he can make the changes necessary to pull himself from the dregs.
I was a little bummed by April and Donnie in this chapter. I know that was your intent and you did a wonderful job of making the scene heavy-hitting. It's natural to see them together. They share a great relationship and have a lot in common. There is just one thing that stands in their way. Don knows it. April knows it. Neither is willing to take a leap of faith and build their wings on the way down. Sad, but very true-to-life.
The part at the end with Michelangelo was great. I've always viewed him as emotionally intelligent rather than traditionally intelligent. He has a knack for reading people, their emotions, and finding a way to help them. That, and he is delightfully perceptive. I like how you write him. He is a jokester, yes, but what people lose sight of is that there is more to him than that.
This was a great chapter! Onward!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 3 . 12/5/2013
There was much to love about this chapter. The moments between April and Donnie. The scene between Raph and Donnie where the former, dogmatically attempting to maintain the status quo at all costs, tries to dash the hope of the latter. The bull-shito code (nice pun!) It was all very well done.
The last paragraph was especially powerful. I imagine one with Don's intellectual gifts and predisposition to science and mathematics would likely compare moments in life to theorems and equations. It was a beautiful way to tie up a wonderfully crafted chapter, particularly with the reference to the poem recurring, providing a common thread to weave everything together seamlessly.
Don is unselfish. He loves April wholeheartedly but knows he wouldn't be best for her. His willingness to let her go not only underscores his character and strength, but also the purity of his heart. My hope is that some sort of happy resolution comes about down the road; that in spite of the odds, they can face the world hand-in-hand. I am a sucker for that sort of thing. The realist in me is a bit worried though. I suppose I'll just have to read on to find out what lies ahead.
Excellent work! I shall read more tomorrow!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 2 . 12/5/2013
This chapter was fantastic, as well! You did a wonderful job characterizing everyone; their personalities are so vivid and believable and it really amps up the quality of the story. I have read several stories in this fandom where people go too far one way or the other with characters, to the point where they become caricatures of themselves. You have avoided that trap and it has made the first two chapters of this work highly enjoyable.
I really like where you are going with April and Donatello. I am a sucker for the pairing and there is nothing sweeter than when they get to share a heartfelt moment together. The dance the first chapter was delightful, but a figment of Don's subconscious; the conversation here was on point, fantastic, and a testament to the relationship (even though it is a deep friendship at this point and strictly platonic.) Though Don held some things back and kept them to himself, he still trusts April enough to share things with her-things he wouldn't likely share with his brothers.
Again, great work. I also like a lot of the humor you have been throwing in. It's been a real treat. The only criticism I can make is the use of "rampart" in the first setence when I believe you meant "rampant." Other than that, it's golden!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 1 . 12/5/2013
Well, this was lovely! I got the warm-fuzzies during the scene where April and Donatello share a dance. It was eloquently written, beautifully described, and it conveyed both longing and an undertone of sensuality. Also, your plot was well-constructed; everything-from it being a costume ball/Halloween dance to the drunken revellers-made the scene great.
I'll admit that I was crushed when it ended up being just a dream. When he awoke in the dilapidated bowels of a warehouse, it tore me up. There's nothing worse than waking from a beautiful dream, particularly when the reality one faces is colorless in comparison. But then you panned over to April and we discover that not only has her rocky engagement to Casey ended, but also that she harbors feelings for Donatello. Just... yes :)
This was a great beginning. The characters are all drawn well-they have idiosyncracies and shortcomings and come across as highly believable. The plot, well that is very nice even at this early stage. And you writing? You give yourself too little credit. I thought it was great! Never worry about having a writing process that takes time (mine takes FOREVER, too.) Usually, it just means that your stories are going to be high quality. That definitely applies here. Excellent job.
| LooksOnTempests chapter 12 . 11/20/2013
You have written such a beautiful love story here. I couldn't stop smiling throughout as I read it. So romantic. I loved how well you wrote April and Donnie; their witty banter and how well they play off of each other was just perfect.
| Guest chapter 12 . 11/16/2013
OMG this is amazing, i just wanted to say that
| April chapter 1 . 11/15/2013
I came back to read this again and it's just as spectacular as when I first read it a few months ago. Your writing style is amazing and full of depth, like rich colors on a painting. Never stop writing.
| JupiterBones chapter 12 . 11/9/2013
| geminidragon76 chapter 12 . 10/6/2013
Let me show you how much I loved this story... I drew fan-art of your fan-story! I have no words that will make justice to this...
| She-Psycho chapter 3 . 9/7/2013
"It never happened, Donnie, it never happened. And if you're as half as smart as everyone says you are, you won't even won't it too. The part of him that bloomed in his dream was pushed further down than ever, wilting under his analytical glare." Another great line.
But you might want to quicken the pace. There are things that you could do without in the narration, to get straight to the point.
| She-Psycho chapter 1 . 9/7/2013
"The heat he was giving off, how could she not notice? Damn if he didn't feel transparent." aww, I love this description. Very fond of "He cut the thought short as if drawn to a flame, leaning forward, his lips meeting hers" and "a more selfish part of him, a part that yearned for her and all but battered into submission" too. Oh another one for keepers: "The semblance of time was garbled in a dream".
No, really. Wow. This is very well written.
Characterization isn't bad either. Very nice. However, I'd have liked more plot. There was too much of... lusting teenagers being teenagers? lol.
| Omobolasire1 chapter 12 . 9/5/2013
Wonderful, loved this story from start to finish.
You write April and Don so well. I got so excited when Donnie asked her to marry him!
Loved it :)
| CrazyGeekyLove chapter 12 . 9/5/2013
This was the most beautiful story ever. I mean I wish I could have a 'favorite' stories and an 'absolute favorite stories' section because this is like, my favorite. I've been excited every time I see a new update.
Okay, that Raph part was totally hinting toward a Raph centered sequel. So write it! Write it! I want more Raph and Casey adventures and Raph needs to have love. He does. It was sad that Casey said that to April in the story as well. I'd love to see a sequel where (now that they're engaged) he finally accepts it and has respect for Donnie. I mean that was the most dickish thing ever to say, especially after he's known the turtles for so long. Raph had the perfect reaction. Raph deserves to be more bothered about that. I mean Casey is like his best friend and he's effectively calling them all freaks?! What a prize dick he is. Haha.
That's my little spiel. So I want to see more Raph and Casey interacting written by you (either in this universe or a different universe). I love their friendship, but I'd also like Raph to beat the crap out of Casey for saying junk like that. Lol. ;)
But now to the core of it. Splinter's talk with April was SO cute. I loved it. And Mikey. He's such a riot! I just love how everyone could see right through them and Leo welcoming April to the clan was a wonderful way to wrap up that scene.
And having it close with the dancing was PERFECT. It was so romantic and beautiful I almost wanted to cry. Except I never cry at happy endings, only sad ones. But I was SO glad this was a happy ending. Donnie and April deserve a happy ending in one of the turtleverses don't ya think? ;)
Love, love, love, love it!
And thank you.
| dwds chapter 12 . 9/5/2013
AHH! I screamed a little inside when I found out you had updated. This has been such an amazing read! I love this story so much! This last chapter was wonderful-one month was my favorite, I think. Also, the proposal! Very sneaky. Thank you so much for writing this, I'll probably reread this multiple times. I may even use it as a guide if I ever get around to finishing my stuff.
I think it might be one of the best TMNT fanfics out there-I've said this before, probably, but you have a beautiful way of stringing words together-seriously, this while thing is like a poem or something! And April's depiction is so sweet. 10043% better than Nick's April. (I understand this is 2k3.) I do feel bad about Casey-I thought he was better but he still was an ass in the end. :(
Anyways, I think I've said all that needs to be said. I can't keep rambling about how much I love this, haha. Oh, you have made an April and Don shipper out of me! Much love!