|Reviews for Hidden Light 2|
| BubblyShell22 chapter 8 . 12/13/2013
Whoa. That's not good if Don's sleepwalking again. I really liked a lot of things in this chapter from the hovercraft to the dancing scene and even to April giving Don the geode. All of that was just so awesome, and I loved it. You really have a way of writing this relationship, and April is right in that Don is very important to her and a part of her life. Nicely done on this. I'm off to read more.
The Bubbly One,
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 12 . 12/7/2013
Well, that was a beautiful ending to an amazing story. I have read my share of fanfiction over the years-more than my fair share, truth be known-and this stands apart as one of the best stories I have had the immense pleasure of reading. Everything about it was top knotch and first-class.
As I read, I couldn't help but feel like a voyeur intruding on a private moment between lovers. Everything was so well planned throughout and so well executed that the final product was seamless. I loved the change in dynamics that occurred over the span of time in the epilogue. At first, everything is fiery passion. As time goes on, that fire remains and in some ways burns hotter and brighter. It's a wonderful way to look at love; a true romantic's way of looking at love.
A lot of this final chapter reminded me of one of my favorite songs by The Eagles, "Love Will Keep Us Alive." As he proposed, I began envisioning their future together and that song popped into my head. So long as they have passion and love for one another, anything is possible. Life can be as wondrous as they choose to make it. I am confident that their will be a blessed union.
Thanks again for writing this. It was a fantastic read from start to finish and one I shall surely revisit. May your pen never rest!
P.S. Happy 100th Review!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 11 . 12/7/2013
YES! YES! FINALLY! Kudos to who/whatever knocked out the power in that section of the city! Donnie and April owe you big time! In any case, this chapter was definitely the climax of the story in my opinion. You have been building us up to this point since the very beginning and you did not disappoint. Too often, I've seen authors fail to seize upon the moment or-worse-allow an opportunity to pass them by. What you created here is masterful. It completely lived up to my expectations. I even got a bit misty-eyed as he was confessing his love and during the descriptive sections thereafter. It was powerful stuff occurring in an equally powerful and romantic setting.
I'm happy that Don FINALLY found the courage to admit his feelings. He'll probably be getting restful sleep now that he is unburdened [and for other reasons :) ] To hear April echo the words from his dream must have been completely surreal for him and to feel her lips against his must have been the affirmation he'd been waiting for- that he's worthy, that he's the one she wants. It's so touching.
I can't praise this enough. You paced everything in the scene perfectly. In my mind, scenes are more effective when they are properly paced. Action scenes tend to read better with short, declarative setences; conversely, romance scenes are best when the sentences are descriptive and laden with imagery. You absolutely nailed it. I was adrift in your words and transported to another realm. Effective writing? You're damn right it is.
Awesome job! On to the finale!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 10 . 12/7/2013
DAMMIT DONNIE! YOU BLEW IT! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT! GAHHHHHHHH.
The final scene of this chapter couldn't have been more romantic or beautifully written. He had her in the moment. She was at ease and they were definitely sharing one of those fleetingly wondrous connections-staring at the stars, thinking about worlds and realms beyond, all he had to do was say three simple words to her and everything...EVERYTHING would have been his. All he could ever want. What does he do instead? NOTHING!
Then again, though, I am in no position to criticize. I have been in Don's shoes before and can totally relate to the internal struggle he is wrestling with. To have feelings for someone and leave them unsaid for fear that it will ruin a preexisting relationship is ultimately a foolish thing to do. Not only do you deny yourself any happiness that could result from the relationship if it would have evolved into something more, but you also rob yourself of any enjoyment you derived from the relationship previously because you always wonder: "What if?" It is an area I have struggled with in my personal life and it definitely strikes a chord with me. Bravo!
I actually liked that Mark guy. For a moment, I wondered if he was going to try to pull some sort of stunt-like be REALLY forward to the point of deserving a slap across the face. But you played him well. He knew he had no chance and ultimately accepted that with grace. The way he kept the door open for April should she ever change her mind was also a nice touch. The only thing I didn't like about him was the comment about seeing her out of her dress. I would never have the guts to say something like that to someone on a second date; it just seems like a way to ensure there won't be a third.
This chapter was great and they seem to continue getting better as the story goes on. I love your use of descriptive language and definitely admire a lot of your imagery. I never feel my imagery is quite right... yours just blows me away. It adds another layer of sophistication to the tale. Awesome work.
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 9 . 12/6/2013
Dammit April! C'mon! You have all of these signs pointing you to the ONE UNDENIABLE CONCLUSION and whaddya do? You botch the hell out of it by calling up the guy from work. UGH. I know she is doing it as a test to see if her feelings for Donnie are truly genuine, but it's a bad idea. Still, I doubt her connection with some persistent guy from work would be nearly as deep as the relationship she shares with Donatello. Deep down, I hope she realizes that. My lingering fear is that Donnie will drop by unannounced and interrupt her as she is getting ready for the date or-worse yet-see her out with the guy. That would be a crushing blow to his pride and confidence.
I am glad, though, that Don's out of the woods. I seriously couldn't in good conscience go to bed not knowing whether or not the Foot found Don in his fugue state. I'm glad it ended relatively quietly and that there was no bloodshed. Some sneakers might have been forever ruined, but in the grand scheme of things that is no biggie.
I just hope that both April and Don wake the hell up. They are wasting an opportunity to take their amazing friendship to the next level, thereby allowing it to blossom into something more. To do anything less is to snuff out any hope of happiness-of light brightening their drab worlds. And it's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it never shone.
Excellent job, yet again. I shall read more soon!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 8 . 12/6/2013
And they danced! Yay! Unfortunately, I have a feeling that is what caused Don to start sleepwalking again, but it would be difficult to say it wasn't worth it. After all, he got to dance with April just like he did in his dream and how often can we truly live out our dreams?
Sleepwalking, if I recall, tends to be a product of the subconscious. If I were to hypothesize, I would say that it takes so much restraint for Donatello to be around April without actually being with her-to be seemingly so close yet so far away-that the only time he truly acts without moderation is when he is asleep. When his waking mind is unable to overcome the powerful urges of his subconscious.
The geode scene was wonderful. Two halves of a whole. How else could you describe them? Soulmates is a term that gets thrown out rather loosely, but I think it fits this pair based on what you have written here. They are simply cut from the same cloth, yet they are different enough to compliment one another.
I was going to stop here for tonight, but I can't deal with the evil cliffie. I shall read on. Excellent work, as always.
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 7 . 12/6/2013
Oh, Casey. What ever will we do with you? Though he has his share of issues and though I prefer Donnie for obvious reasons, I can't help but feel a little sorry for the guy. He is making the right moves, after all. He is trying to change-trying to be a better person. The only problem is that he is doing it all for the wrong reasons. Obviously it has to please April that he cares enough about her to quit drinking and change his ways, but at the same time the underlying issues and dynamics of their relationship wouldn't transform overnight. They have a history, after all.
I LOVED the card and gift. It warmed me. It was a very clever gift and even wittier inscription. Combine that with the irises and I think that Donnie wins-flawless victory.
It's probably better for everyone at this juncture that Casey takes off for a while. I think things would come to a head between him and Donnie if he stayed. Actually, I was almost expecting him to throw the vase of irises across the room or tear up the card or something. Something destructive. I guess if he was trying to win April back, though, he would demonstrate some restraint. In any case, the interplay between him and April was very telling and well done.
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 6 . 12/6/2013
I'll admit that I am a little late to the game as far as reading stories on this site from the TMNT fandom. While I loved the '87 series when I was younger, the live action films, and the 2007 movie, it was the new Nick series that really piqued my interest and got me into looking at the TMNt fanfiction stories (unfortunately, I didn't get the channel that broadcast the '03 series, though I have caught the SAINW sequence and a few other episodes on youtube.) So I haven't been around for the long haul... I will say that from what I have read, you write Master Splinter the best. You have his dialogue down, his mannerisms-his subtle yet ubiquitous wit. The scene between him and Donnie was amazing. A son and a father in a beautiful setting sharing a moment together. When Splinter is gone years down the line, I have a feeling that would be one of the moments Donnie would remember most.
The anecdote and advice were wonderful, by the way!
Again, wonderful job. I don't feel I can stress that enough.
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 5 . 12/6/2013
The more I read, the more I love this story. The relationships are becoming evermore complex with each chapter and the interplay between the characters is by far your greatest strength. You write dialogue very well. I feel one of my weaknesses as a writer is dialogue and characterization (I don't feel I delve deeply enough sometimes) so to read a story where someone has really hit the nail on the head is an absolute treat.
I adored Raph this chapter. When I was younger and watched the 1987 cartoon and the live action films, he was always my favorite. As I've gotten older, I have a real soft spot for Donnie, but I still appreciate Raph (they all have their allure for me, really.) His gruff personality can be difficult to get a read on, but he strikes me as someone who would be difficult to get to know but fiercely loyal once you earned his trust. My favorite line of his in this chapter was: 'Don, you're my brother.' It's perfect. Casey may be his friend and tey may have a lot in common, but in one beautifully succinct setence, you sum up who Raphael is. Awesome job!
The attack from the Foot was a surprise, but a nice touch. April getting injured was a great way to stir up all of the uncertainty that seemed settled: Don will second guess whether a relationship with April is best for her while stewing about his very nature-that of a mutant "freak." To me, their relationship always reminds me of the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
This was a great chapter, for sure. You rock. Officially added to my rather exclusive favorite authors list!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 4 . 12/6/2013
I loved the Casey-Raph interplay in this chapter. They share a unique friendship and you really brought that to the forefront. I also really liked that you linked Casey's sobriety to his metal health/state; many people are good and decent until they have one too many. That he came to the realization later on that he couldn't keep walking the path he was on provides hope for him later on. Here's hoping he can make the changes necessary to pull himself from the dregs.
I was a little bummed by April and Donnie in this chapter. I know that was your intent and you did a wonderful job of making the scene heavy-hitting. It's natural to see them together. They share a great relationship and have a lot in common. There is just one thing that stands in their way. Don knows it. April knows it. Neither is willing to take a leap of faith and build their wings on the way down. Sad, but very true-to-life.
The part at the end with Michelangelo was great. I've always viewed him as emotionally intelligent rather than traditionally intelligent. He has a knack for reading people, their emotions, and finding a way to help them. That, and he is delightfully perceptive. I like how you write him. He is a jokester, yes, but what people lose sight of is that there is more to him than that.
This was a great chapter! Onward!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 3 . 12/5/2013
There was much to love about this chapter. The moments between April and Donnie. The scene between Raph and Donnie where the former, dogmatically attempting to maintain the status quo at all costs, tries to dash the hope of the latter. The bull-shito code (nice pun!) It was all very well done.
The last paragraph was especially powerful. I imagine one with Don's intellectual gifts and predisposition to science and mathematics would likely compare moments in life to theorems and equations. It was a beautiful way to tie up a wonderfully crafted chapter, particularly with the reference to the poem recurring, providing a common thread to weave everything together seamlessly.
Don is unselfish. He loves April wholeheartedly but knows he wouldn't be best for her. His willingness to let her go not only underscores his character and strength, but also the purity of his heart. My hope is that some sort of happy resolution comes about down the road; that in spite of the odds, they can face the world hand-in-hand. I am a sucker for that sort of thing. The realist in me is a bit worried though. I suppose I'll just have to read on to find out what lies ahead.
Excellent work! I shall read more tomorrow!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 2 . 12/5/2013
This chapter was fantastic, as well! You did a wonderful job characterizing everyone; their personalities are so vivid and believable and it really amps up the quality of the story. I have read several stories in this fandom where people go too far one way or the other with characters, to the point where they become caricatures of themselves. You have avoided that trap and it has made the first two chapters of this work highly enjoyable.
I really like where you are going with April and Donatello. I am a sucker for the pairing and there is nothing sweeter than when they get to share a heartfelt moment together. The dance the first chapter was delightful, but a figment of Don's subconscious; the conversation here was on point, fantastic, and a testament to the relationship (even though it is a deep friendship at this point and strictly platonic.) Though Don held some things back and kept them to himself, he still trusts April enough to share things with her-things he wouldn't likely share with his brothers.
Again, great work. I also like a lot of the humor you have been throwing in. It's been a real treat. The only criticism I can make is the use of "rampart" in the first setence when I believe you meant "rampant." Other than that, it's golden!
| Novus Ordo Seclorum chapter 1 . 12/5/2013
Well, this was lovely! I got the warm-fuzzies during the scene where April and Donatello share a dance. It was eloquently written, beautifully described, and it conveyed both longing and an undertone of sensuality. Also, your plot was well-constructed; everything-from it being a costume ball/Halloween dance to the drunken revellers-made the scene great.
I'll admit that I was crushed when it ended up being just a dream. When he awoke in the dilapidated bowels of a warehouse, it tore me up. There's nothing worse than waking from a beautiful dream, particularly when the reality one faces is colorless in comparison. But then you panned over to April and we discover that not only has her rocky engagement to Casey ended, but also that she harbors feelings for Donatello. Just... yes :)
This was a great beginning. The characters are all drawn well-they have idiosyncracies and shortcomings and come across as highly believable. The plot, well that is very nice even at this early stage. And you writing? You give yourself too little credit. I thought it was great! Never worry about having a writing process that takes time (mine takes FOREVER, too.) Usually, it just means that your stories are going to be high quality. That definitely applies here. Excellent job.
| LooksOnTempests chapter 12 . 11/20/2013
You have written such a beautiful love story here. I couldn't stop smiling throughout as I read it. So romantic. I loved how well you wrote April and Donnie; their witty banter and how well they play off of each other was just perfect.
| Guest chapter 12 . 11/16/2013
OMG this is amazing, i just wanted to say that