|Reviews for Free|
| MOAR chapter 1 . 3/12
This is magnificent and honestly I think this is the best thing I've read that you've done including PC. I loved everything about this. The way you portrayed Dave after six years alone and Mindy after jail time and years of therapy is amazing. I could go on and on about this. It seriously needs more recognition.
"I have no intention of continuing this...But DO NOT ask me to write another chapter." I'm going to respect that. But on everything that is good and holy I must know WHY? This has so much potential to just leave it here.
"If anyone wants to write something based on this, they are free to." I would LOVE to write a continuation of this, but honestly I'm just not good enough to do this story justice and that really saddens me.
Wow rereading that last paragraph I sound like a big whiner, but that's how I feel so I'm gonna leave it.
Truly, your writing brightens my day, and I hope you never stop.
| NJHarris chapter 1 . 1/16
I am so glad I read this, twice in fact just because I had to!
To see how much Mindy has changed, that she's leaving her past rightfully where it should be, and living in the present and looking towards her future makes for such a great read.
For her to feel surprised and relieved at Dave waiting for her shows just how truly alone she's felt for so long. That Dave is her one true friend. I can imagine her last months, where Dave was unable to see her, were when she felt forgotten, that no one was waiting for her. That's truly heartbreaking, that after everything she'd been through, she expected she had to try and find her own way. That's why she's lucky to have met a guy like Dave. Someone who would never forget her, who has given her a home and wants her to start the rest of her life, knowing that he's there for her. The fact it all became too overwhelming for her, and she just couldn't hold back the tears, shows just how grateful she is to Dave. Just how lucky she is to have him as a friend.
We all knew that Damon was insane, that the life he'd created for Mindy was unfair for her, no matter how much we love Mindy and Hit Girl. She still deserved a father, which is something Damon never truly was. He may have loved Mindy, but what he did to her was exactly as she put it, "abusive". Which was when Marcus stepped in, but wasn't enough for her because of who she'd become. With Marcus and her Mother no longer around though, Dave is all she has. For Mindy to see her father for what he truly was, is an amazing step for her to have taken. For her to finally accept the life she was leading made her into nothing but a toy or her father, makes it incredibly frightening to see it that way. That when we read the comics we loved Mindy as a character as well as her alter ego, but to see Damon this way, makes me feel disgusted to have liked Mindy for what he'd made her into.
This story is truly fantastic, and I cannot believe I had taken this long to read it!
And the ending! I mean even though after being locked up for 6 years, having been in therapy throughout most of the time she was there, she feels bad for wanting to see Dave as something more than a friend. That when she's with him, she wants to 'be bad'. And so take the first step to 'being bad' with Dave, she kisses him. I think that wanting to be with Dave doesn't make her bad. It means that she sees someone who is the only person here for her, and who will be there for her whenever she needs him. I hope I haven't misread the last lines wrong, but this is how I see it.
Once again Mako, your story telling is simply nothing short of fantastic! This story truly deserves more favourites and reviews from your readers. I can't imagine a single one of them would be disappointed with this story if they decided to read it.
| Phantom Mushroom chapter 1 . 1/15
An interesting piece. It has the same feel as the comics, that sense of desolation or personal nihilism. I had to read the ending twice (after reading a few of your other reviews) in order to firm up my thoughts on it.
This really isn't a story so much as a character sketch. It's not quite even in depth enough to call a character study, just the broad strokes of an outline of Mindy six years later. And as a sketch, it is both fantastic as well as being a good starting point for a more refined character and story.
The reason I had to read the ending twice was because stylistically it represented a departure from the rest of the piece. On first reading I didn't catch why, I just noticed a point where I felt "jarred" while reading. On refection I think what happened was you had a very open and sweeping character sketch that, while attached to previous events, had no strong story (plot) of it's own. You then approached the ending of the idea you had and felt the need for some sort of closure, so you rapidly tried to solidify one or two character traits and throw in some semblance of a theme.
This is the literary equivalent of doing a still life sketch and then going back and painting in one element in fine detail. While there are some artists out there who can make something like that work, most can't. That is the best way I can explain my opinion that this doesn't work as a story or even oneshot, but is absolutely fabulous as a character sketch. (Yes, I'm long winded... we each have our habits to break.)
I think this represents a major step forward in your abilities as a writer. It shows real growth. In particular the improvement in setting a difficult mood and style, and keeping it consistent throughout most of the work, is amazing. (I wish I could do half as well in my own work when dealing with such "realism".) For a long time you've had a strong ability to create compelling characters with only a few broad strokes, mostly through razor sharp dialog and one or two iconic actions. Now you can create atmosphere as well. Definitely something to be proud of, indeed!
Thanks for writing and posting and I look forward to more of your work.
| melvintheminion chapter 1 . 10/29/2013
this is an awesome fic. And I really enjoyed it. And I was wondering if you were planning on basing another story off this?
| KrRcksMySx chapter 1 . 10/22/2013
Wow, I can't believe I haven't read this yet! I love this so so much! Maybe more than PC or OH. I love the ending line, and I love the moments between Mindy and Dave. I also liked how you showed she was still struggling with everything, and IDK I just LOVED it!
As of now, this is my new favorite KA story. Very different (but it needs to be since it's based off the comics), but I love that it's different.
This was beautiful and even though I wish you'd write more I think it's perfect leaving it as it is. It leaves the rest to imagination, and really that's what makes it great. :D Kudos!
| StakeTheHeart chapter 1 . 9/27/2013
I always wondered how Mindy would be when she got out and this is one way that could possibly happen. i like it though. it's indeed different.
| Rex Splode chapter 1 . 8/22/2013
I gotta be perfectly honest here, this is one of the better story's about these characters hooking up. Why?
1. They are both 18 or older, which eliminates the pedo part of this story so many people write story's about on here. You yourself may have written some, i don't know but my advice is to stay above 16 to avoid moral displeasure and 17-18 for legal safety.
2. Aside from one or two lines i thought everything they said was very in character for a 6 years later Dave, and 6 years of therapy of considering her dads lies that have changed her life. This is something that hasn't been explored yet in the comics, and unless in the next 8 issues of KA 3 it is... it's never going to get explored because this is the last series. So i like that a lot.
3. I can read, so I'm not going to ask you to write another story for this one shot. However I will say that it's probably the most mature(ish) and that letting it simply die with one chapter is a disservice to your own writing skills. If you never change your mind, you should consider allowing another equally talented writer to take it up, as I'm pretty sure you've gotten one to many request to continue this.
Just my thoughts, but this is a well written one shot that I rather enjoyed and found to be unoffensive on a moral level, i liked the character growth of 6 years missing from her life and it makes me hope that the comic touches on this subject before its over but i doubt it will do a time jump to accommodate a fan bases hopes for a budding romance between older versions of these characters or the psychological development offered from 6 years of intense therapy.
| MaybeIt'sTheVodka chapter 1 . 8/20/2013
This was very interesting, I enjoyed it. Was not expecting Mindy's new (er?) views of her father, it took me by surprise. Very cool, because you hear about people occasionally talking about him being a shit father but I don't think that I've seen a KA fic up where Mindy talks about this realization.
| WhiteTigerLilly chapter 1 . 8/19/2013
Wow. This is EXACTLY what I was looking for. This is the first KickAss fic I read and I wanted something well written with a good story. This was it.
I am happy with the way it ended. Lets enough to the imagination and I love that you got into her psyche. Together Dave and Mindy are FREAKEN awesome. I have to find the comics. If you know where I can read them or buy them can you pm me?
Thanks! WTL- Josie
| PeKan chapter 1 . 8/14/2013
"Meat juice, condiments, and toppings exploded from between the buns, nearly reaching Dave, who couldn't help but burst out laughing as Mindy exerted her jaw in valiant attempt to chew the oversized chunk of meat, vegetable, and bun. After a full minute of chewing, Mindy finally managed to swallow it all."
Probably the most sexual thing I've read, ever.
| htbthomas chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
So I read it!
It was actually quite easy to get into, despite not knowing the source canon. I was able to get a good feel for both characters, or really, what they've become in the years since the movie ended. Nice job!
| skywiseskychan chapter 1 . 6/25/2013
This is a nice story. It's somewhat deeper than it could have been, especially dealing with Mindy dealing with her issues. It's almost funny to see her coming out of jail 'softer' than when she went in. Thats generally not the case. I can only wonder at how mixed up her feelings would be spending 12-18 in jail and getting out with the possibility of getting sucked right back in. It's going to be quite a rollercoaster of a ride.
| redheadkim chapter 1 . 6/21/2013
Wow! I kinda liked this...scratch that, I loved it! This fic gave me too many sad feels for Mindy...and Dave, a little. Considering this is from the comic verse , I'm going to say that her not wanting to be Hit-Girl after all the therapy and jail time makes sense. And her now seeing her father as a sadistic fuck, seems plausible. This was your best fic yet.
| Luan Mao chapter 1 . 6/8/2013
Interesting. I don't know (and don't want to know, so don't tell me) how much of the pre-story is canon. I read only the first volume of KA2; will probably get and read the remainder but haven't yet. Anyway, yes, it's different than any other Kick Ass fanfic I've read. Though I question whether it's really a Kick Ass story. I mean, where are the explosions? Excessive use of excessively foul language by an excessively young girl?
All-in-all a decent job. When can we expect Chapter 2? (Kidding!)
| Marx810 chapter 1 . 6/6/2013
Okay, first and foremost I have to say that that was quite possibly the funniest description of someone eating a burger I think I've ever read. Everything else paled in comparison. ;) Kidding, of course. I absolutely loved this story. As you probably figured out, I'm a huge fan of how dark the comic version of Kick Ass is, and you reflected that extremely well. Knowing what I know of Mindy's therapy in "Damaged", if she'd actually stayed and finished her sentence I'd imagine this is how she would have turned out. Probably about as mentally healthy as the poor girl can get, at least as far as healthy goes by 'normal' standards.
I liked how you incorporated the comic delisions as well, and that Dave was kind of the trigger since I'm assuming she'd been delusion free for at least a little while by her reaction/rejection of it. And I'm pretty sure this is the only version of Mindy, I've read where she's openly hostile about what her father did to her, which totally makes sense.
As usual, Dave and Mindy's dialogue is flawless, I especially like her trying to nip any talk of getting her back in the costume in the bud, as well as Dave admitting that Mindy's the one who sees herself as 2 people, not him. All in all, I'll definitely be favoriting this one. Great job.
Now...to convince myself it won't be funny to add myself to the follower list just to be annoying. Must...resist...urge...